Ex-homosexual overcame, helping others
- Feb 18, 2008 - 21
Darrel Auvenshine has struggled with same-sex attraction for most of his adult life. Involved in the ministry Living Hope, which reaches out to those who struggle with unwanted same-sex attraction, Auvenshine has been able to his overcome same-sex attraction through the grace of God, he says.
Now a staff member at a Southern Baptist church in Texas, Auvenshine tells his story of God’s deliverance as often as he can.
“I became a Christian when I was 8” and was raised in a Christian home in Arlington and went to church most of his life, he said. “It wasn’t until I was 12 that I started identifying an attraction to the same sex. I started acting out on that around the age of 13.
Auvenshine was sexually active from age 13 to 23, he said.
“At the same time I was very active in my church and youth group. I felt the call to go into ministry. But at the same time I was living this double life that no one knew about.”
When Auvenshine was 19 he enrolled at Dallas Baptist University. He was still on the ministry path and was being mentored by his worship pastor.
“He gave me a cassette tape of Dennis Jernigan’s first worship album, ‘Break my Heart.’” At the beginning of that album Jernigan shares briefly how God rescued him from a homosexual lifestyle.
“That was the first time I realized that I could tell someone about my struggle,” Auvenshine said. “I realized that God still had a plan for my life. There was still the possibility of great things happening in my life. So I opened up about my struggle to the pastor who was mentoring me.”
About the same time Auvenshine’s parents confronted him about the issue.
“I had come home from DBU and my dad said that he wanted to talk to me. He said, ‘I know you are gay. I’ve known for a couple of years. I kept hoping you would come and talk to me, but I am afraid you never will. So I want to tell you I don’t know how to help you. I don’t know all the answers, but no matter what, we love you and it won’t change who you are to us. But we believe that God has a better plan for your life.’”
This show of compassion and unconditional love helped Auvenshine come to a place that God broke his heart.
“I knew that I could walk away from God and my parents would still love me. They exemplified the Father’s love.”
Having grown up in the church, Auvenshine knew how to attend church meetings and look involved, but he had never pursued God.
“My mother really encouraged me to pursue God’s heart,” Auvenshine said. “But I didn’t know how to live a holy life.”
His worship pastor discovered Living Hope Ministries, the North Texas referral ministry of Exodus International. “Living Hope was meeting in a church that was less than a mile from my parent’s house. It was to me miraculous that I could get in my car and in less than 10 minutes be at this ministry.”
Auvenshine went to the first meeting and “I felt like I wasn’t alone.” Auvenshine’s friends from the homosexual community had always told him that he could be a Christian and still be a homosexual.
But at Living Hope, Auvenshine learned that God had a better plan for his life.
“It was the beginning of coming away from homosexuality for me,” Auvenshine said. “The discipleship that I received there gave me hope that God could do it”
Auvenshine has been involved with Living Hope Ministries since 1993 when he attended his first meeting. He now helps lead small groups and musical worship and serves on the board of directors of Living Hope Ministries.
“My home church after a time of restoration embraced me. Many of the men shared their struggles with me and encouraged me.”
In 2001, Auvenshine was ordained into the ministry. He first served on staff at his home church. Auvenshine now serves as the worship and missions pastor at Alsbury Baptist Church in Burleson.
“There are times, as Christians, we claim we have been set free from our temptations. But while I have been delivered, it is still something I struggle with,” Auvenshine said. “A lot a people want to know, ‘is change possible? ‘Can people change?’ I say, ‘Absolutely, the gospel of Jesus Christ changes people every day. The gospel of Christ is powerful.’”
“The life that I lived was leading me to death, but God protected me,” Auvenshine said.
He strongly encourages churches to reach out to those who struggle with homosexual attraction.
“This is something that the church is dealing with every day,” Auvenshine said. “The church is adopting a soft approach on homosexuality. The church needs to teach correctly on this now, because the people in churches are already learning about homosexuality, but they are learning what the world says.”
One of the first things a church should do to reach out to people struggling with homosexuality is to become educated.
“Churches need to know both what the world teaches about gay theology and what God teaches about homosexuality,” Auvenshine said. “You can’t teach the truth unless you know what falsehoods you have to correct.”
“More importantly, we need to apply the grace message. What does it look like to overcome struggles. Find the people in your church who are open in their struggles and ask them to help with this ministry,” Auvenshine said. “They don’t have to have struggled with homosexual attraction, but find those people who understand the forgiveness and deliverance of God—those will be the most successful in this ministry.”
Auvenshine stressed that a church hoping to reach out to homosexuals needs to establish is a strong sense of community.
“There is a close gay community and to leave that community is like death,” Auventshine said. “People coming out of that community need another community to become a part of.”
Auvenshine also encourages churches to contact Living Hope Ministries.
In counseling some of the men in his small group, Auvenshine said God is preparing them to be bold about their life stories.
“I feel as if God is preparing them to tell the world, ‘Change really is possible.’ God is calling for greater transparency to show his power to the world.”
For more information on Living Hope Ministries, visit livehope.org. To contact Bob Stith, the Southern Baptist Convention’s national strategist for gender issues, visit sbcthewayout.com or call 817-424-9121.
This article is reprinted with permission from the Southern Baptist TEXAN, the newsjournal of the Southern Baptists of Texas Convention.
Further Learning
Learn more about: Faith, Ministry, Family, Sexual Purity, Homosexuality
21 comments (post your own) feed
1 On Feb 18th, 2008, at 1:11pm, Dan Valdes wrote:
Mr. Scanlan writes....
“I feel as if God is preparing them to tell the world, ‘Change really is possible.’
...but he also states in the same article…
“There are times, as Christians, we claim we have been set free from our temptations. But while I have been delivered, it is still something I struggle with,” Auvenshine said.
So while Mr. Auvenshine may have learned to “control” his feelings of same sex attraction he has not apparently changed from gay to straight.
So what “change” is EXACTLY possible?
2 On Feb 18th, 2008, at 1:46pm, Pat wrote:
Thank you for this article. My family and I are struggling with this same issue and very similar circumstances. Are there any other articles or help you can direct us to, this seems to be a very needed area that seems to have limited resources.
3 On Feb 19th, 2008, at 8:48am, Layna Evans wrote:
Mr. Valdes,
Do you still struggle with pride or lying even if you are saved? We are all struggling against the sin nature. God’s transformation occurs on a moment to moment basis and is never fully realized until we join Him in Glory.
4 On Feb 19th, 2008, at 10:18am, Fred Conwell wrote:
Jesus still defines sin as lack of love (Matthew 22:36-40). What is unloving about a couple in a homosexual love relationships? Neither is victim, neither is unloved. Where is the hurt? Who is the victim being sinned against? The Gospel writers and prophets do not mention homosexuality because it is not a sin. The King James Version comes closest to a correct translation of two condemning nouns used in Leviticus 18:22 — “sexual immorality”. That is not necessarily homosexuality. ("Homosexual" was coined about 1865, so any translation using a form of that word is a lie that needs to be emended. In 1946 it premiered in an English Bible.) If God didn’t want men (or women?) to have sex with other men, He would have said “Man shall not lie with man PERIOD That whole “...as with a woman” thing condemns straight men (prisoners) pretending to make it with a woman. Gay men know nothing about sex with women.
5 On Feb 19th, 2008, at 8:50pm, Bob Stith wrote:
Mr. Conwell apparently gives the gospels greater authority than other books in the Bible. Those who take the Bible seriously and trust its’ authority recognize that all scripture is inspired - and authoritative. Secondly, Jesus made it very clear what God’s creative intent is when he challenged his listeners to go back to the beginning - that beginning where God created a man and a woman and instituted marriage. Thirdly, since arguments from silence are being proposed, I would point out that no where in the entirety of scripture are homosexual acts ever spoken of affirmatively.
6 On Feb 19th, 2008, at 10:38pm, S. MILLER wrote:
What does the Bible say about Sodom and Gomorrah? I believe that God stated clearly that there was horrible sexual sin going on and that He would have to destroy the whole city. That would include the sin of sodomy (thus the name). If God truly approved of a homosexual relationship, then why are there no examples of any same sex couples in the Bible?
I’d like to hear from Mr. Cromwell on this subject.
7 On Feb 19th, 2008, at 11:40pm, Greg A wrote:
Dan,
You ask, “So what “change” is EXACTLY possible?”
I’m of the opinion that sexuality is in no special category of human preference—in other words, like everything else, it’s the result of a complex mix of predisposition, personal experience and social factors.
So, I have no problem believing that God and affect change in this person’s life.
HOWEVER, that’s not so say it’s easy! We’ve seen enough supposedly “changed” homosexuals going back to know that.
So, while I can believe that homosexuals can “go straight” (so to speak) I am concerned as to why. If a gay person honestly concludes that this God’s will for them—that’s fime. However, I think a lot of people put pressure on gays to change out of bigotry or prejudice against homosexuals. That’s not fine.
Before any gay person decided to try changing, I’d suggest they’d get some spiritual direction from those who honestly interpret scripture differently.
8 On Feb 20th, 2008, at 2:44am, Katie wrote:
Fred, it sounds like you have convinced yourself that homosexuality is not a sin. I think that we all, at times, try to make the Bible say what we want it to say, rather than considering what God is really saying to us through His word.
I am not a Hebrew scholar so I can’t comment about the original text of Lev. 18:22. My version says “You are not to sleep with a man as with a woman; it is detestable.” The next verse prohibits other forms of “sexual intercourse.” To me, scripture is clear that homosexuality is not part of God’s plan for us.
9 On Feb 20th, 2008, at 10:12am, Dan Valdes wrote:
Dear Katie:
Leviticus 20:13
NLT: (New Living Translation): “The penalty for homosexual acts is death to both parties. They have committed a detestable act, and are guilty of a capital offense.”
Now I am not a Hebrew scholar either but that’s what Leviticus has to say on the matter.
Is Scripture clear to you that we gay people are to be punished with our very lives for finding love and companionship in the arms of someone of the same gender?
Who is to carry out said capital punishment, the state, the Church, or mob rule? This is what happens to gays in Iraq, Iran and Egypt. This is America. Gays are equally free.
I think it’s time for reasonable people to re-examine the legalism and literalism of the Bible.
You are welcome to believe what you want, but public policy should not be influenced by this kind of homophobic inflammatory rhetoric.
10 On Feb 21st, 2008, at 10:34am, Bob Stith wrote:
Dan,
I must have missed the part where Katie discussed retribution for homosexual acts. As I read her post it was simply about whether the Scripture was clear about homosexual acts being a sin.
Every reference makes that clear.
Since Israel was at that time a theocracy and the United States is a democracy - or more accurately a republic - this argument makes no sense. Comparing the U.S. to fanatically Islamic regimes is somewhat disingenuous.
I’ve been involved in ministry to those wanting out of homosexuality for over 14 years. I’ve never heard anyone - certainly no reasonable person - even suggest such a thing.
11 On Feb 21st, 2008, at 2:25pm, Katie wrote:
Hi Dan,
The passage in Leviticus as well as other passages in the Bible provide proof (for me, at least) that God does not intend for human beings to participate in homosexuality. So, a person who is interested in living life the way God intends will seek to obey His will, despite the struggles or challenges this may present.
Either you abide by His word or you don’t. If you choose not to (as you have in this area of your life) don’t expect others who see it differently to applaud or re-interpret the Bible to fit your lifestyle.
12 On Feb 22nd, 2008, at 7:48am, Dan Valdes wrote:
Dear Mr. Stith,
Katie didn’t discuss retribution, Leviticus does.
It’s strange how some in the church like to point out Leviticus as foundational for their belief that homosexuality is immoral,however, they do not hold to the passage that I quote.
Katie suggests that I am the one reinterpreting the Bible for my own ends, however I am the one quoting the Bible too. So is one passage more valid that the other. It’s the same book after all.
The Bible says....
Leviticus 20:13
NLT: (New Living Translation): “The penalty for homosexual acts is death to both parties. They have committed a detestable act, and are guilty of a capital offense.”
Those are not my words.
13 On Feb 22nd, 2008, at 7:56am, Dan Valdes wrote:
Mr. Stith says..
“Since Israel was at that time a theocracy and the United States is a democracy - or more accurately a republic - this argument makes no sense.” in reference to Leviticus 20:13, so does that mean that since we are a different nation at a different time that some Biblical TRUTH is temporal?
I thought the argument went that ALL Biblical TRUTH is eternal. That the Bible is the literal word of God.
When did it stop being true? How can we know if some parts are true and some stop being true?
I thought the argument was that what God set up in Adam and Eve was the single and only model for humanity, the family and sexuality.
So if Genesis is true, why is Leviticus only partially true? Does our government conform to the word or does the WORD conform to democracy?
14 On Feb 26th, 2008, at 12:45pm, Terry Kay wrote:
Adam and Eve are indeed the single and only model for humanity, the family and sexuality.
If you put all the gays on one island and all the lesbians on another, in less than 100 years the planet would no longer be occupied with any human beings.
Case closed!
15 On Feb 26th, 2008, at 2:41pm, dan valdes wrote:
Dear Terry Kay,
If you put all the gays on one island and all the lesbians on another island....in less than 100 years you would have more gays and lesbians born from the general population.
Where in the world do you think we come from in the first place?
Dan
16 On Feb 27th, 2008, at 11:34am, Fred Conwell wrote:
To Bob Stith, S. Miller,Katie and others who didn’t read my basic post): Jesus’ words are supreme (Matthew 22:36-40)and a loving Gay relationship is not sinful. (see David and Jonathan 1 Samuel 18:1-3 and 20:30-41) Who’s the victim being hurt? Sodom and Gomorrah was attempted homosexual rape - not loving. See their record of un-love in Ezekiel 16:48-50.
Leviticus 18:22 and 20:13 have “...as with a woman”. Gay men don’t know sex with women.
17 On Feb 28th, 2008, at 9:50am, Dan Valdes wrote:
One thing some folks never seem to mention is that Lot offered up his two daughters for rape to the angry mob if they would only accept them.
Now if the whole story of Sodom and Gomorrah is about how bad homosexuality is, what does that further say about the value of women vs. men, rape of women, paternal protection vs. protecting unknown visitors to our home and perhaps most importantly self sacrifice.
18 On Feb 28th, 2008, at 11:43am, Fred Conwell wrote:
Straight men (ALL men homosexual?) raping angels? If Gay, where did the “young” come from? Please! And why offer Gay men a couple females for sex? Please! Get straight on Sodom and Gomorrah - Ezekiel 16:48-50. Realize that Jesus still defines sin as lack of love (Matthew 22:36-40). Those concerned about the sanctity of marriage should insist on outlawing adultery, divorce and abortion. All are sinful because they have an unloved victim. Marriage must be for love, not pregnancy.
19 On Mar 4th, 2008, at 8:08am, Katie wrote:
Fred,
Jesus’ definition of love in Matthew 22 has absolutely nothing to do with sexual activity. There is nothing in the Bible to support the idea that David and Jonathan had a homosexual relationship. In John 15:13 Jesus says “greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.” He is not talking here about “eros” (Greek for sexual love) but agape (Greek for a self-sacrificing kind of love). You cannot twist Jesus’ command to love one another to mean that homosexual activity is permissible in the Bible.
20 On Mar 4th, 2008, at 4:09pm, Dan Valdes wrote:
Dear Pat,
You might find secular resources helpful at PFLAG (parents and friends of lesbians and gays) pflag.org or if you would like to hear an alternate Baptist point of view check out the affirming baptist ministry of rainbowbaptists.org.
You may also find the United Church of Christ or some United Methodist Churches perspectives helpful in your discernment.
There are lots of Christ centered resources out there besides those who would have one believe that being gay equals broken spiritually or less than the plan God has for our lives.
Good luck and God Bless.
dan valdes
21 On Mar 10th, 2008, at 6:21am, Fred Conwell wrote:
Katie, Matthew 22:40 says “ALL THE LAW and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” I think that might cover sexual activity laws. An unloving act is neglecting to tell another sinner what Jesus did on the cross for them. Two people in a loving relationship are not sinning (per se) unless there is some sort of victimization. Jesus’ words in Matthew 22:36-40 presumes that one knows what love is and what it is not.