Modesty - General
- Apr 3, 2006 - comment
According to the American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language, modesty is defined in the following three ways:
- The state or quality of being modest.
- Reserve or propriety in speech, dress, or behavior.
- Lack of pretentiousness; simplicity.
The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition. Copyright © 2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company. Cited on http://www.bartleby.com.
“Dress standards and dress codes are inescapable and inevitable. Whether you realize it or not, you and everyone else have a dress code. You will either have a dress code by design (meaning that you have thought through the moral and philosophical implications of your dress code), or you will have a dress code by default (because you have let others do the thinking for you and have de facto accepted their conclusions), but you will have a dress code…In past centuries, Christian peoples were often noted for their modesty, and heathen peoples for their immodesty. Today, the line between the professing Christian and the savage tribesman has become increasingly blurred, as more and more ‘Christian’ people resort not only to the pagan practices of scarification, tattoos and body mutilation, but have thrown off the ‘restraints’ of modest dress in favor of the trendy and the physically revealing. The result is that modern America has been publicly undressed. What is worse, Americans have come to think of nakedness as normal and acceptable, even preferable.”
Douglas W. Phillips, “Dress Code and the Myth of Neutrality,” quoted in Jeff Pollard, Christian Modesty and the Public Undressing of America, (San Antonio: Vision Forum, 2002), 11-13.
“Nothing can atone for the lack of modesty; without which beauty is ungraceful and wit detestable.” [Sir Richard Steele, British Dramatist, Essayist, Editor]
“Christians are wise to remember that modesty is biblically mandated.”
Mary K. Mohler, “Modeling Modesty,” in Southern Seminary Magazine, Winter 2003, 17.
“We must not allow our standards of modesty and discretion [to] be subject to the whims of fashion and popular culture.”
Annie Chapman, 10 Things I Want My Daughter To Know (Eugene, OR: Harvest House Publishers, 2002), 34.
“Our assault on innocence and modesty now begins quite early in our public schools. Sex-ed, as it is called, is another legalized means by which we wage war on virtue with the sanction of our government. In classrooms all across our nation, children are being subjected to mental rape: their innocence is being stolen from them against their wills. Schools in the Northeast teach ‘Condom Line-Up,’ where young boys and girls have to properly arrange pieces of cardboard with words on them like ‘sexual arousal,’ ‘erection,’ and ‘leave room at the tip.’ In New Jersey, children in kindergarten are taught about birth control and masturbation. A popular text now in use across the country is titled, It’s Perfectly Normal, published by Planned Parenthood. ‘It features illustrations of nude, playful boys and girls as they masturbate on beds and heterosexual and homosexual couples as they have intercourse in different positions.’ Recommended reading age? Ten years old and up.”
David and Diane Vaughn, The Beauty of Modesty: Cultivating Virtue in the Face of a Vulgar Culture (Nashville: Candlewick Press, 2005), 34.
“Modesty, like many virtues begins at home. Parents are key in training their children, both male and female in either modesty or immodesty. When something is precious and valuable, it deserves protection. Modesty as a virtue is not limited to clothing. Modesty includes conduct, gestures, language, reading and thought. Parental habits influence and train children in each of these areas.
“Training children in modesty begins early. If parents wait to address modesty until prom preparation and high school dances, it is too late. The selection of clothing in early childhood begins shaping the preferences for later life. Before selecting body hugging and skin revealing clothes because they are ‘cute,’ consider if you want your son or daughter wearing similar items as a teen. Encouraging pre-teens to wear thongs and seductive garments only encourages further immodest behaviors.”
Jeffrey D. Murrah, Modesty: A Lost Virtue? [Accessed November 11, 2005]
“In First Timothy, women are told to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, and not with expensive clothes (1 Tim. 2:9). There is obviously a connection between how one’s body is displayed and sexual attraction. This is true for men as well as women. Immodest dress that overly reveals one’s body often encourages sexual lust which is sin. The Bible says in Matthew, ‘anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.’ (Matt. 5:28). This applies to women as well as men. For this reason all Christians should dress appropriately and maintain wardrobes that honor Christ and do not lead others away from His Kingdom.
“Modesty, however, is not a single set of rules for every culture and time. It is a pattern of behavior that does not call attention to itself through inappropriate display of one’s body. As believers our dress should constantly reflect the truth that Christ dwells within us.”
Modesty in Physical Appearance [Accessed November 11, 2005]
“Many of you may really feel convicted to change and wonder what you should do now, so I would like to give you a few words of simple advice before I close. First of all, go through your closets and drawers and pull out all of the clothing that obviously has to go-and get rid of it! Next, get in front of a full-length mirror, and try on the things that are questionable. Look at yourself from all angles using a hand-held mirror. Look at yourself close up and from far away and see what you ‘really look like’ in the clothes you have been wearing. View yourself objectively, as if you were looking at someone else—and note what your first impressions are of ‘this person.’ Check for fit and transparency and get rid of anything that doesn’t pass the test—this is no time to be sentimental! Finally, each day before you leave the house, do the ‘mirror check’ on anything that hasn’t previously been checked or if you have gained weight since last taking a look. You will be surprised to find that some of the things you were sure about won’t pass the test. This will help you weed out your wardrobe as you go. Some of you may be afraid that if you do this, you’ll end up with nothing left to wear! But just remember that the most important thing is to be obedient to God, even if it means having a very limited wardrobe. Besides, when you are all done with this project, you will become a much more careful shopper and end up being a better steward over God’s money than you ever were before!”
Melody Green, Uncovering the Truth About Modesty [Accessed November 11, 2005]
“Views on dress today cover the spectrum from ‘anything goes as long as my private parts are covered’ to ‘I cover myself from neck to ankle and never wear anything bolder than navy blue.’ It is unfortunate that modest dress is a controversial topic in Christian circles. What should be a fairly easy issue to decide upon (and obey) has been fragmented into dozens of ‘sub-arguments’ about liberty versus legalism, law versus grace and shamefacedness versus ostentation. Our culture is so saturated with immodesty that we have become desensitized to it in many ways. What was once considered pornography is now brazenly displayed on the magazine covers that assault our eyes at the grocery checkout. The world chides us for being ‘repressed’ or ‘uptight’ if we attempt to uphold the barest shadows of modest behavior and dress. Even fellow Christians tell us that there are no absolute guidelines for dress, and that we mustn’t hinder another’s ‘liberty’ by insisting that Scripture gives us boundaries for our attire. In the midst of this confusion, we find it difficult to ‘rightly divide the Word of Truth,’ dividing instead into camps of ‘us’ and ‘them,’ and wasting all our ammunition on our sisters in Christ when we should be building one another up in love. And cursing the darkness may make us feel good temporarily, but we had better start lighting candles if we expect anyone to take God’s Word—and His commands for modesty in particular—seriously.”
Mrs. M. L. Chaney, Modesty and the Christian Woman [Accessed November 11, 2005]
“What we do with our bodies, and yes, even how we clothe them, reflects our worldview, our spirituality, and our virtue. Of course, a carnal person may dress in a modest manner. External modesty may be used as a mere façade. But a spiritual person will not dress immodestly. A person who is dressing or acting in a wanton or ostentatious fashion is someone with an inner problem, either emotional, moral, or spiritual. And that inner problem is manifesting itself in the appearance.”
David and Diane Vaughn, The Beauty of Modesty: Cultivating Virtue in the Face of a Vulgar Culture (Nashville: Candlewick Press, 2005), 64.
“When I was a youngster, all the progressive people were saying, ‘Why all this prudery? Let us treat sex just as we treat all our other impulses.’ I was simple-minded enough to believe they meant what they said. I have since discovered that they meant exactly the opposite. They meant that sex was to be treated as no other impulse in our nature has ever been treated by civilized people. All the others, we admit, have to be bridled . . . But every unkindness and breach of faith seems to be condoned provided that the object aimed at is ‘four bare legs in a bed.’ It is like having a morality in which stealing fruit is considered wrong—unless you steal nectarines.”
C. S. Lewis in Elisabeth Elliott, Passion and Purity (Grand Rapids: Fleming H. Revell, 1984), 148.
“Purity, I fear, has gotten mixed up in people’s minds with the caricature of Puritanism, which, in the popular imagination, is a dour, brittle revolt against all the pleasures of the flesh. Puritans were in fact very earthy people, robust in their affirmation of life, not by any means ‘Victorian’ (another word grossly misunderstood today in being made a synonym for all that is negative). Neither the concept of purity nor the doctrines of the Puritans deny life. Rather they refer back to the very Giver of Life Himself. Purity means freedom from contamination, from anything that would spoil the taste or the pleasure, reduce the power, or in any way adulterate what the thing was meant to be. It means cleanness, dearness—no additives, nothing artificial—in other words, ‘all natural,’ in the sense in which the Original Designer designed it to be.”
Elisabeth Elliott, Passion and Purity (Grand Rapids: Fleming H. Revell, 1984), 131-132.
- When we establish standards, we come to know who we are. A lot of people in our world spend their lives trying to ‘find themselves.’ I can say, by the grace of God, that I know who I am. My life has been defined by the Word of God.
- When we establish standards, we have more time for ourselves, not less. Fixed boundaries allow us to say ‘no’ with confidence. The spontaneous attractions of life can be confronted with an assurance born of conviction and determination.
- When we establish standards, our children develop a sense of security. Because a child’s self-image and emotional well-being are shaped primarily by parents, it is paramount that mom and dad model moral security and confidence themselves. Hypocrisy kills. Morally confused parents breed morally confused children. If I’m perplexed about my standards, my children will be too. But the reverse is also true. Well-defined boundaries, buttressed by parental consistency, are the most potent weapon in your parenting arsenal. Children thrive in this atmosphere.
Robert Lewis, Real Family Values (Gresham, OR: Vision House Publishing, Inc., 1995), 196.
“The issue of modesty is nothing new, but it seems the church has lost its voice. There is little or no difference between what Christians and non-Christians wear . . . Because our culture glorifies appearance and emphasizes sex appeal, we must address this issue with our children from an early age. If we want our teenagers and adult children to reflect godly morals in their dress, we must lay godly foundations when they are young.
As Christians, our standards come from God’s Word, not from pop culture. Excessive exposure to sexual material has desensitized the church. Everywhere we look, we see people in various stages of undress. From lingerie advertisements to fellow shoppers, we see it all . . . It is our job as parents to learn what the Bible says about our clothing and appearance, implement it in our own lives, and teach it to our children.
“As believers, we are called to be holy, or set apart. This does not come naturally, nor is it always convenient. It takes time to process what the Bible says about modesty and how we will specifically apply that to our family. It also requires sacrifice, but some things are just plain wrong for Christians to wear.”
Excerpted from Michelle Lippincott, Rediscovering Modesty in an Immodest World (Lifeway Christian Resources) [Accessed November 14, 2005]
“In light of the value God places on marriage and fidelity, immodesty is no small sin. It is not simply a silly and vain form of self-display. It is a snare to serious sin. And for those who are married, it is a provocation to commit adultery. Anyone who understands both the high view of marriage and the high crime of adultery taught in the Bible will certainly think twice before dressing immodestly.”
David and Diane Vaughn, The Beauty of Modesty: Cultivating Virtue in the Face of a Vulgar Culture (Nashville: Candlewick Press, 2005), 80.
“I don’t think it’s an accident that the most meaningful explication of modesty comes from the Bible. I was fascinated in my research to discover how many secular women are returning to modesty because they found, simply as a practical matter, that immodesty wasn’t working for them. In short, they weren’t successful finding the right men. For me this prompts an essentially religious question: Why were we created in this way? Why can’t we become happy by imitating the animals—In the sixth chapter of Isaiah we read that the fiery angels surrounding the throne of God have six wings. One set is for covering the face, another for covering the legs, and only the third is for flying. Four of the six wings, then, are for modesty’s sake. This beautiful image suggests that the more precious something is, the more it must conceal and protect itself. The message of our dominant culture today, I’m afraid, is that we’re not precious, that we weren’t created in the divine image. I’m saying to the contrary that we were, and that as such we deserve modesty.”
Excerpted from Wendy Shalit, Modesty Revisited (Boundless Webzine) [Accessed November 14, 2005]
Further Learning
Learn more about: Family, Sexual Purity, Modesty