Suicide - Help

By Jerry Price - Nov 1, 2006 - comment

If you or someone you know is having thoughts of suicide, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 (for the hearing impaired TTY 1-800-799-4889) or visit the website.

To learn more about helping prevent suicide, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has a listing of prevention strategies and links.

How to help someone who has threatened to take their life (written for teenagers, but applies to everyone):

  1. Don’t back away. Make yourself available—even if you’re not sure. Better to be wrong than take chances.
  2. Be a detective. Whenever you sense something is wrong, get the person to talk if at all possible. Ask them to tell you what is wrong. If they hedge, ask them directly if they are thinking of suicide.
  3. Listen carefully. Many people feel that no one really cares. Listening—really listening—shows that you care. Listen for verbal clues that they are thinking of suicide.
  4. Say the right things. Some right things to say are:
    1. “I don’t know how serious things have gotten. Let’s talk about it.”
    2. “It sounds like you are feeling totally hopeless. I understand how you can feel like ending it all. Have you told anyone else? We’ve got to talk to someone about this.”
    3. “I don’t want you to do anything to hurt yourself. I don’t know how we can change the feeling, but I know there are people who can help.”
    4. “I want to hear everything that’s been happening. I’ve got the time.”
  5. Take action. Don’t wait. Immediate action is called for.
    1. Tell the person about the sources for help (i.e., suicide hotline, etc.)
    2. If a suicide plan has been formed, remove any instruments of destruction if at all possible.
    3. Get the person to make a binding agreement with you to talk before they take any suicidal action.
    4. Pray before, during, and after an encounter with a suicidal person.
    5. If the person refuses to get help, contact their parents or another responsible person. Even if you’ve made a promise not to tell anyone, break it for the sake of the person’s life.

Jerry Johnston, Why Suicide? (Nashville: Oliver Nelson, 1987), 170-175.

Helping Survivors:

  • Listen actively to what the survivor says—without judgment, criticism, or prejudice.
  • Ask how you can help. Be prepared to wait until they are ready.
  • Allow them to talk at their own pace. Don’t try to speed things up.
  • Allow the survivor to repeat the same story or feelings multiple times. Repetition is part of their healing process.
  • Call the deceased by name rather than referring to them impersonally. By using their name, you will humanize them.
  • If you don’t know what to say, your presence and unconditional listening is what the survivor needs.
  • Don’t tell the survivor how they should feel or act. It is their grief journey, unique to them. Allow them to live it while you lend your support.
  • Unless you are a survivor yourself, don’t say, “I know how you feel.”

Helping Survivors of Suicide: What Can You Do? (American Association of Suicidology), August 20, 2004

Further Learning

Learn more about: Life, Suicide

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