Two families become ‘related’ through adoption of siblings
- Apr 25, 2007 - 1
CHARLESTON — Last year two separate families of The Valley Church [in Charleston, Tenn.], also known as Walker Valley Baptist Church, suddenly became “related.”
The families adopted siblings, so the brother and sister see each other regularly at church and because the families are good friends.
The adoptions are also unique in other ways, reported David and Sherry Marler, who adopted Jacob, 10; and Shane and Kelly Lawson, who adopted Ellissa, 6, now 7.
The families give God the credit for working out the situations for the good of all involved.
Sherry Marler initiated the adoptions when she met Jacob and Ellissa. They were living with a distant relative of hers. The children were not allowed by the government to live with their parents. Then that relative died and Jacob and Ellissa lived with another person also distantly related to Marler. But that family had four other children.
Sherry got to know Jacob and Ellissa and especially Jacob, who has a congenital heart condition. To help her relative and the family, Sherry and David would invite Jacob to spend time with them.
Jacob began wanting to spend more time with them, said Sherry. And he and David had a special connection. David also has a heart condition.
David began teasing Sherry’s relative about adopting Jacob as he and Sherry started thinking about it. Sherry had already raised two children, who were adults, and has five grandchildren.
The Marlers considered adopting both Jacob and Ellissa so the siblings, who were close, wouldn’t be split up. But they didn’t think they could take on both children. David is no longer able to work because of his health.
Then Sherry thought of the Lawsons, members of her church who were praying for a child. The Lawsons and the Marlers became good friends as they have worked with Brian Crisp, founding pastor, and a few other people to develop The Valley Church. The church is about three years old. Shane Lawson is youth pastor of the church.
Sherry approached the couple with the idea of adopting Ellissa and told them of her and David’s idea of adopting Jacob. The Lawsons knew of Ellissa, who had visited the church about a month earlier with the Marlers and Jacob.
The Lawsons were very interested and soon had invited Elissa to stay with them a couple of days in their home.
Just two weeks later, Jacob and Ellissa were staying full-time with the two families and everything seemed so right, everyone reported.
Just six months later, last December, the adoptions were approved legally along with name changes for Jacob and Ellissa which they requested.
Good results
So many good things have come out of the adoptions, the Marlers and Lawsons said.
The Marlers have been able to help Jacob, who faces heart surgery and takes medication for his condition. Jacob’s heart is positioned differently than most hearts, including being on the left side of his chest. Jacob has undergone three surgeries already.
The Marlers report he has been helped by the prayers of the congregation. Recent testing was so good doctors told the family upcoming surgery on Jacob could be postponed and he was healthier than at an earlier appointment.
Also being with David Marler has been a blessing to Jacob, reported Sherry. Jacob can’t participate in sports and, while a part of other families, had to sit on the sidelines at sports events and watch other children in the same family play. With the Marlers, David has found a fishing buddy, reported Sherry.
Jacob “has come out of his shell,” said Sherry. He was very quiet before joining their family. Also Jacob’s work as a student has improved dramatically.
The Lawsons said they are blessed daily by having Ellissa as their daughter because they had been hoping for a child for five years.
Kelly, who works for a bank, said she has always wanted children. She has worked as a nanny and baby sitter. She also has worked with children for many years in churches. She felt particularly attracted to Ellissa the one Sunday she visited The Valley Church. Kelly taught the Sunday School class Ellissa attended. And that attraction was confirmed during Ellissa’s first weeks with the Lawsons when Ellissa asked them to let her live with them.
Shane could relate to Kelly because his dream has always been to work with children. Shane had prepared for a career in the Boys and Girls Clubs of Cleveland where he worked for nine years. Now he works in information technology for a utility company and ministers to children and youth at the church. He previously served as youth director for another church.
He has particularly enjoyed having illustrations from his experiences with Ellissa and their family to use in sermons, said Shane.
Another positive result of the situation is that brother and sister see each other regularly at church and as the two families often do things together. They even go on family trips together because “we are really one family,” said Sherry. Yet both children are where they should be because they needed a lot of individual attention, the parents agreed.
Finally, since joining the two families, Jacob and Ellissa have become Christians and very knowledgeable about their faith. They weren’t exposed to the Christian faith much before the adoptions.
The Lawsons are thankful for the help of the Tennessee Baptist Children’s Homes. Staff from the Chattanooga campus conducted a home study as part of the adoption process which can be expensive. Then Jean Shelton of the TBCH staff provided invaluable counseling on parenting in this situation. Sherry also has helped from her experience in helping children from troubled backgrounds. She is a health specialist for Headstart and pre-kindergarten students for the state of Tennessee.
Both couples thank the small congregation of their church. Many of its members are teens. The church has seen about 36 youth make professions of faith and be baptized since it was started about three years ago. Yet the members held an adoption shower for both families and all members have accepted both Jacob and Ellissa as part of their families, the Marlers and Lawsons reported.
They also thank Brian Crisp, who brought them together.
“If you don’t think your decisions affect others, look at this,” said Kelly.
“This is a miracle that I never thought would happen,” said Shane.
“This was God’s perfect plan for both of them,” said Sherry of Jacob and Ellissa.
This article is reprinted from the April 25, 2007, issue of Baptist & Reflector, the newsjournal of the Tennessee Baptist Convention.
1 comments (post your own) feed
1 On May 1st, 2007, at 4:05pm, Keith Rose wrote:
Thanks for the article. Recently we adopted a 5 year old girl, two of our best friends families adopted her brothers, one each. The children are able to visit and see each other at Church, although we attend different fellowships now. It has been a real blessing to the children to stay in touch with each other and has brought all of our families closer together.