Viewpoint: Be the Church
- Mar 4, 2008 - 5
I was sharing with the elder body of a large, progressive, growing church about my vision for the church to become the place of healing and restoration for those struggling with unwanted same-sex attractions when one of the elders expressed a sentiment I have since heard many times. “We don’t know what to do to help those people,” he said. “If they start coming, we won’t have anything to offer them.”
I knew that this concern was not unique and that it was not possible for every church to have a specialized ministry for those impacted by homosexuality. I began to really think through how I could help equip any church to minister effectively to the sexually broken.
As I thought and strategized, I kept coming back to the answer that always seemed too simple, but one that has been confirmed over and over in my mind, heart, and in the testimonies I hear: The church need not have special programs and ministries to help people with unique problems. The church must simply be the church.
The changes in my life did not take place in a ministry focused on those struggling with unwanted same-sex attractions and feelings. I did not go through “reparative therapy,” or any other kind of specialized therapy. Primarily, I walked out of an old identity and into a new identity in the local church.
The first church my wife and I got involved in as we began the process of our personal and marital restoration was not a place where I felt comfortable sharing my struggle. But it was a church that offered me three important components of sexual healing and restoration: It taught Truth at all levels, it offered some level of community, and it encouraged us to serve.
God worked amazingly in my life during that time—through the Word, through community, and through service. We eventually became part of a new church start, and that church became the place for the next stage in my healing process. While the first church laid a good foundation, this church became the place where I would grow exponentially. This church also offered Truth, but it was more than just Truth; it was uncompromised Truth applied to the reality of life.
It was this atmosphere of reality that fostered the freedom, for the first time in my life, to share my struggle with my pastor and, ultimately, the entire church body. It offered real community—community that was more than prayer for distant relatives, but was about being real, sharing the hard parts of life, and walking the Christian walk together. And it was a place to truly serve, where much was expected and the rewards were great.
I’ve come to realize that for those of us who struggle with unwanted same-sex attractions, the answer is not so much in the change of our sexual attractions, feelings, or orientation. The answer is to become a disciple of Jesus, with all of the wonderful challenges and joys that journey entails. This is what every church, large and small, traditional and contemporary, has the opportunity to offer—to all sinners, all strugglers, and all broken people.
So I say to the church, “Just be the church.” Welcome all people, love all people, teach the truth, be real, equip people to serve—make disciples. Change for people like me may or may not include changes in feelings and desires, but it always includes a change in what we seek in life, in what we follow, in what we make sacrifices for, in what we pursue, and in what brings us true and lasting joy.
We can be a disciple of many things, including our feelings. Those dealing with life dominating, identity stealing struggles just need you to be the church. Walk with them (and help them up when they fall) as they become a disciple of Jesus, and all else will fall into place.
Mike Goeke is the director of Cross Power Ministries in Midland, Texas.
If your church would like more information on how to become involved in ministering to those who struggle with homosexuality, please contact Bob Stith, director of the Southern Baptist Convention’s Task Force on Ministry to Homosexuals, at . To purchase bulletin inserts on this important issue, please visit our online bookstore.
Further Learning
Learn more about: Faith, Ministry, Family, Sexual Purity, Homosexuality
5 comments (post your own) feed
1 On Mar 5th, 2008, at 11:04am, Rick Walters wrote:
Dear Brother Land
There is so much I have to disaggery with you on, but you are right we the church must just be the church. We are all sinners some are saved by the grace of God, others are not saved.Same sex marrage or sex outside of marrage is still sin. We need to reach out to all the lost it is up to them if they will become born again or not. But if we the church does not open up to all no matter what their sin then we the church need to do God a favor and close and luck the doors.We need to let God to lead people out of their sin by letting God work in our life.
2 On Mar 6th, 2008, at 9:28am, ruth wrote:
i have been asking the question for several years now. in our church there is a lisbian couple,they are young, they have been going for several years now.one teaches in children’s church and the other counts the money, sometimes the elders ask one of them to pray for our petitions, this puzzles me, do the elders not have discernment, or they just don’t know how to deal with it. i love them and always pray for them. but i feel that the church is conforming to the ways of this world. what should i do? it is now heavy on my heart.
3 On Mar 8th, 2008, at 4:14am, Vera Martin wrote:
If this includes people who remain in a same-sex affair in separate homes or together, I don’t see any evidence of repentance. How can a bible believing church allow membership or service in a ministry from one who is willfully living in sin, planned sin, that is? I disagree with the notion.
4 On Mar 10th, 2008, at 9:21am, Dan Valdes wrote:
Dear Ms. Martin,
Even a moderately penned essay that hints at a live and let live attitude towards gay persons in the church draws condemning and self-righteous retorts from you and Ruth.
I would dare say that you nor the lady named Ruth would care to have good church people peering into your private lives and deciding when or even IF you could participate in church activities. This is not what I believe the Lord wants from us.
I would think most churches would do well to welcome ALL people in and leave the judgment to the Lord.
If you would open you heart in friendship, like Mr. Goeke, you might be surprised at what can happen.
5 On Mar 26th, 2008, at 8:28am, Jeff wrote:
Great article. The question I have is can a church be the Church? You give testimony that you have experienced the Church, but many people seem to have different experiences, which are characterized by conditional love, condemnation and elitism.
I know that I have behaved like a church when I tried being a Christian according to my fallen and warped dogma. I have also experienced behaving like the Church when I seek the Lord’s will with all my heart, mind, soul, and strength. It is at those times that His love, grace and mercy works in me and through me to fulfill my role in the Church - the Body of Christ.
I’m reminded of John 12:47 where Christ states that He came to save the world - not to judge it.