Woman’s abortion experience leads to redemption, help for other women
- Jan 5, 2009 - 1
“When someone is in danger or pain, it is the nature of one who considers life valuable and worthy to go and rescue,” explained Pat Layton, author of a newly released Bible study for women who are dealing with the post-traumatic stress of abortion.
“There has been a crisis going on for 35 years as millions of men, women and children have been caught in the rapids of sin and death and they need a hero,” she said, appealing to a gathering at the annual meeting of the Southern Baptists of Texas Convention last fall to accept that challenge. “One in three women have abortion in their past” and there is a great need for heroes to share the rescue that God offers, she added.
She describes her own life as a series of rapids she sought to navigate from the age of 16, having made many bad choices that put her in need of rescue.
“I became a single mom at 18 and my parents rescued me, taking care of my young son while I went back to college to get my degree. When I discovered I was pregnant again, I was very ashamed to tell my parents.”
Having fought for a woman’s right to a safe and legal abortion, Layton said that was the last thing on her mind when she entered an abortion clinic to “solve” her problem pregnancy.
“I felt shame, guilt, fear and the lack of power. The windows were covered with bars. The confused nurses wore dirty tennis shoes. It was dark and dreary. Even though I didn’t have Jesus in my life, I knew I was standing in the pit of Hell with all of these women sitting there crying and alone.”
Instead, Layton opted to pursue “a nicer abortion” from the obstetrician-gynecologist who had delivered her older son. “I thought, ‘It will just take a minute. I’ll go in in the morning and be out that afternoon.’”
Her doctor did not ask the reason for seeking an abortion nor did he tell her how far along she was in the pregnancy.
“I was willing to pay the extra bucks to be put to sleep. I didn’t want to experience the ugly clinic, but go on with my life.” After dropping her child off at daycare, she headed to one of Tampa’s nicest women’s hospitals, planning to retrieve her son that afternoon.
“The next thing I remember was waking up with a tube stuck down my throat from a respirator and my parents standing at the foot of my bed. My secret wasn’t a secret anymore.” They picked up her son while she checked out of the hospital to recover at her apartment.
However, an allergic reaction to anesthesia sent her back to the hospital as she began running a high fever. There she learned that parts of the fetus had been left behind and the doctor would need to re-perform the abortion.
“What parts? A head, a heart, arms or legs? For the first time when he said those words I realized it was the parts of a child—a living human being that I had fought for the right to destroy.”
After crawling off the abortion table a second time, Layton spent the next seven years with no idea of who she was. “I was lost to my feelings, any self-esteem I might possibly have had, and lost any values.” Like 92 percent of the women surveyed regarding their abortion experiences, she was experiencing a traumatic disorder described as post-abortion syndrome.
Three years with a secular counselor only served to empty her pockets of the dollars she had to spare. As her marriage and life continued to fall apart, she turned to a neighborhood church where her children could attend Sunday School.
“As I was watching them perform an Easter play, the true resurrection happened in my life,” Layton said.
She heard the gospel clearly presented during a ladies’ retreat “because someone reached out to a woman in the rapids who was drowning.”
“I asked the Lord into my dirty, messed up life as a 30-year-old and was filled with peace and a passionate love for God and his Word.”
Through the slow process of healing, Layton began to see God use her to rescue others,” launching a Crisis Pregnancy Center in Tampa.
Layton later wrote the Bible study titled “Surrendering the Secret: Healing the Heartbreak of Abortion” with no intention of it being published.
“It was written for me and the people around me in my city to tell them God wants to heal you.” The eight-week study from LifeWay Christian Resources includes a 20-30 minute video introduction that supports the lesson for that week.
Many women hide the secret of abortion deep in their hearts, and they are suffering severe consequences, Layton shared. They carry a great burden of shame and failure, afraid to reveal their hidden pain, and by doing so are forced to endure the long-lasting effects in isolation. “Surrendering the Secret” is written to help women release this burden and find freedom through ‘redemptive community’ while experiencing hope and joy as shame and failure are replaced with beauty.
“Abortion has stolen three generations in 35 years,” she told the audience. “The enemy’s greatest victory in the slaughter by abortion is an unhealed, uninformed church.” Instead of depending on the law, the Supreme Court or the president to solve the problem alone, Layton believes it is up to the body of Christ to lead in declaring the truth about abortion.
In working with local churches, Layton said she finds one of two situations—“a church that slams the issue of abortion in the pulpit as broken women go slithering under their pews, not daring to tell anyone their secret,” or a church so filled with mercy that they don’t want to approach the issue.
“Women’s ministry leaders either run from me in the hallway or meet me in the bathroom because this issue is not being discussed in the church. We need soul care for the suffering and spiritual healing from the sin,” she said. “Our challenge is to boldly break the silence and promote forgiveness.”
The Inside LifeWay podcast with Pat Layton can be found at www.lifeway.com/insidelifeway. More information about the study can be found at www.surrenderingthesecret.com.
This article is reprinted from the December 21, 2008, issue of the Southern Baptist Texan, the newsjournal of the Southern Baptists of Texas Convention.
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1 On Jan 6th, 2009, at 9:16am, Dianna McGraw wrote:
I have just become involved in our local pro life clinic. The opening statement of the clinic’s director was the decision-maker for my involvement. She said, “Our primary concern is with the spiritual condition of the women to enter our doors.” This clinic provides spiritual, medical and physical needs for the woman and child until the child becomes two years old. I am excited to be a part of a work that focus on more than preventing abortion. We also counsel with women who have had abortions in the past. It is important for these women to know God will forgive them. When the women asks God to forgive them it is enemy brings the remembrance back to their minds.