Youth ministers encourage professional help for cutters
- Feb 5, 2008 - 2
A random survey of Oklahoma Baptist youth ministers revealed many have dealt with cutters in their youth groups.
Jason Peck, youth minister at Purcell, Union Hill, who has been there about a year, said when he came, he learned there were a few students who were cutting.
“The biggest thing we have seen is that it has become a cool thing to do, a trend,” said Peck. “They seem to be doing it more for reaction. When the attention stops, sometimes they stop.”
Keith Davis, youth minister at Owasso, First, said he believes it is a way for some teens to release pain.
“Different people rely on different things to escape problems and pain,” he noted. “For some, it might be drugs, sexual activity, running away. This is one of many ways for kids to escape their pain. They can do it, no one knows about it and it doesn’t cost money.”
Steve Bullard, youth minister at Tulsa, Southern Hills, agrees that pain leads most teens to cut.
“They feel pain inside for whatever reason, and this is a way to address it,” he explained. “It doesn’t make sense to people who don’t cut, but it’s almost like releasing the pressure within you. You cut open a wound that has festered, the puss drains out of it and the pressure is relieved. I think that is kind of like what they go through.”
All of the youth ministers said they don’t try to deal with the matter themselves.
“We get them professional help,” said Davis. “In this day and age, it is too risky to try and take care of this yourself.”
Bullard said parents should set their pride aside, and not be afraid of counseling.
“A lot of parents are afraid their kids are going to say they are cutting because the parents got a divorce,” Bullard noted. “And they already feel guilty about it.”
This article is reprinted from the January 10, 2008, issue of the Baptist Messenger, the newspaper of the Baptist General Convention of Oklahoma.
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1 On Feb 6th, 2008, at 5:14pm, J S wrote:
While even many professionals have misinterpreted cutting as a means to gain attention, this is a sorely misguided understanding of the problem. If it were intended to gain attention, cutters would not go to such lengths to hide their scars. Self injury is an outward expression of an inward pain. Psychological and spiritual healing can only begin when we dismiss the act of cutting as a desire for attention and begin to see it as a visible indication of inner pain that existed long before the cutting started. It is critical within both the Christian and the non-christian communities that we respond to self-injurers with compassion rather than reinforcing the shame that surrounds this highly misunderstood behavior. By suggesting to the injurer that he or she is “attention-seeking”, their shame is reinforced with the understood message, “You’re not really in terrible inner pain, you’re only trying to appear to others as if you’re in pain.”
2 On May 9th, 2008, at 10:14am, Heidi wrote:
I completely agree with everything that JS wrote above. Self-harm is the outward expression of pain and hurt deep within. This distructive behavior begins when you feel controlled by the pain in your life and begin to self-harm in order to alleviate the pain of your circumstances. This is a distorted view of reality and must be addressed by confronting the underlying hurt and pain within. Mercy Ministries has a series of books that help youth ministers, parents, and teens seeking freedom from self-harm and other life controlling problems such as eating disorders, addictions, and sexual abuse. Cut, Mercy for Self-Harm educates you on what “self-harm” is, gives you signs to watch for, addresses how to break free, and gives you stories of girls who have overcome self-harm. Here is a link to their webpage.
https://www.mercyministries.org/Store/c-3-featured-items.aspx