During my time in seminary I took a leadership course taught by the late-great Howard Hendricks. As we studied the life of David, Hendricks shared a study he conducted with a group of men in full-time ministry who had fallen into a morally disqualifying sin.
At the time, I had only been a Christian for a few years, but unfortunately the subject was all too relevant. During my early days I had witnessed several men whom I loved and respected fall into serious sinful compromises.
Hendricks’s study was of 246 men in full-time ministry who experienced moral failure within a two-year period of time. As far as he could discern, these full-time clergy were men who were born again followers of Jesus. Though they shared a common salvation, these men also shared a common feat of devastation: They had all, within 24 months of each other, been involved in an extramarital affair.
After interviewing each man, Hendricks compiled four common characteristics of their lives.
- None of the men were involved in any kind of real personal accountability.
- Each of the men had all but ceased having a daily time of personal prayer, Bible reading and worship.
- More than 80 percent of the men became sexually involved with the other woman after spending significant time with her, often in counseling situations.
- Without exception, each of the 246 had been convinced that sort of fall “would never happen to me.”
As I reflect on this, a few lessons come to mind. These are applicable for pastors, plumbers, stay-at-home moms and anyone else who seeks to follow Christ.
Sin thrives in isolation.
Satan lives in the darkness and longs to keep us there as well. He does this because lies live best in the darkness. God knows this, which is why when he calls us to himself, he calls us into the church.
God has created the church to be many things, one of which is to be a community of people who help each other fight sin and love him. He calls us into relationships where we speak truth to one another (Eph. 4:15, 25), confess sins to one another (James 5:16), and love each other enough to chase after each other if we stray (Matt.18:10-20, Gal. 6:1-2, James 5:19-20).
The question I want you to ponder is this: Who knows you? I mean who really knows you? Who not only has permission, but is currently acting upon the permission to ask you hard questions? Are you answering those questions honestly or are you hiding details and painting up your sin to guard your image?
Do not hide from God’s gracious aid of loving relationships.
If you flirt with sin, you will fall into sin.
Sin’s slope is a slippery one. The longer you walk along the edge of the abyss, the more certain that your foot will slip. The men in the study put themselves in dangerous situations again and again. They ignored the words of Solomon who warned his sons to “keep your way far from her, and do not go near the door of her house” (Prov. 5:8).
These men did not guard their hearts, or the hearts of the people they were supposed to be protecting. Instead, they became blinded by the deceitfulness of sin (Eph. 4:22, Heb. 3:13) and were led into the ditch of destruction (Matt. 15:14).
What ways are you flirting with sin? What provisions are you making for the flesh in regards to its lust (Rom. 13:14)? What guards have you stepped over? What details are you hiding? What emails are you deleting? What search histories are you erasing?
Sin is crouching at your door (Gen. 4:7) and the tempter is looking for an opportunity to pounce (1 Pet. 5:8). How are you making his aim easier?
Flee from sin, don’t flirt with it (Gen. 39:6-12, Prov. 5-7, Rom. 6:12-13, 2 Tim. 2:22, 1 Pet. 2:11).
Pride blinds us to our weakness.
Many of us think this sort of serious sin would not happen to us, just as those fallen pastors thought. But 1 Corinthians 10:12 warns us “let anyone who thinks that he stands take heed lest he fall.” Let us not forget that Samson—the strongest man in the Bible, Solomon—the wisest man in the Bible, and David—the man after God’s own heart, were all overcome by the temptations of sexual sin (Judges 14-16, 1 Kings 11:1-8, 2 Sam. 11-12, Psalm 51). No one is above the temptation to sin in grievous ways. If you doubt this, you are on your way to a great fall.
Brothers, beware. “Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall” (Prov. 16:18).
Purity is cultivated by loving Jesus.
Somewhere along the line, each of the men in the study began to drift. Prayers became less passionate. The promises of God in his Word grew dusty. Love for Jesus became something spoken of in the past tense.
The seduction of sin and enticement to sacrifice all to satisfy inner longings became too strong to resist.
But Christ is stronger. Hear these words of promise afresh in Hebrews 4:14–16:
“Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. 15For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. 16Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”
Brothers and sisters, there is no sweeter assurance of help than Christ Jesus the Lord. He stands ready at God’s right hand to supply the grace and mercy we are in such need of.
Do not allow your hearts to grow cold toward the Lord who loves you so. Draw near to him daily, moment by moment, in hopeful expectation that he is better than any fleeting pleasure that might entice your heart. Do not seek him only in days of desperation, but seek him daily. Walk with him. Rekindle passion. Plead with him to help you. He is able to do it, and he delights to do it.
“Now to him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you blameless before the presence of his glory with great joy, to the only God, our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion, and authority, before all time and now and forever. Amen” (Jude 24-25).
This was originally published here.