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Articles

Grief in the wake of domestic violence

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March 5, 2015

There is much to say and do when it comes to domestic abuse. Unfortunately, we've seen a lot about it in the news recently. The nation was rightly shocked and outraged last year after witnessing the violence of football player, Ray Rice, against his wife. It was a jarring reminder that women, regardless of socioeconomic status, are frequently victims of violence at the hands of loved ones. As the Church, we must remember that those living in fear of abuse are in our congregations, often hiding in plain sight.

Domestic violence is not like a broken bone that simply needs mending, but rather a tentacle-like tumor which requires careful and precise extraction.The cancer of domestic abuse is not, as in the case of any cancer, easily remedied but demands a thoughtful, careful, involved and compassionate response.There is need for the involvement of the authorities, social services, lawyers and counsellors. Women entangled in abuse need help navigating their love for their abuser and their urgent need for safety. Sadly, there are many children caught in this web who must be considered and cared for.

Justin Holcomb has written extensively and well on this issue for the Church, and we would be wise to heed his counsel and take steps to see that we are equipped to help victims. As in the case of meeting with anyone who is grieving, when we encounter those left in the wake of domestic violence—a victim, family member or friend—we tend to unintentionally say something unhelpful or say nothing out of the fear of being unhelpful. So what can we do and say when we desire to help? As one deeply and personally acquainted with such sorrow, I want to offer some suggestions.

1. Be a safe place for all emotions.

Processing the trauma of domestic violence is not cut and dry. Recovery will bring about a cavalcade of emotions like anger, sadness, relief and regret. The complexities of these emotions are numerous: "Why didn't he love us like he was supposed to?"; "Why didn't she leave sooner?"; "I hate that my children have had to live through this."; "I know he's done horrible things but I still miss him."

There is nothing easy about coping with these emotions and their implications. They are complicated, messy, frustrating and exhausting, but it is important to simply be a safe place for these emotions to be felt and expressed.

Bear with me when I say that I think Job's friends got something right. Job 2:11-13 exemplifies what is much needed when it comes to being a friend to the hurt:

"Now when Job’s three friends heard of all this adversity that had come upon him, they came each one from his own place . . . and they made an appointment together to come to sympathize with him and comfort him. When they lifted up their eyes at a distance and did not recognize him, they raised their voices and wept. And each of them tore his robe and they threw dust over their heads toward the sky. Then they sat down on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights with no one speaking a word to him, for they saw that his pain was very great."

2. Admit you don't have all the answers.

Grieving of any sort always begs the question, "Why?" Our hearts want so badly to be able to give an answer. But what satisfying answer is there in the face of this horror? This is the same conundrum we encounter when we witness terrorism and natural disasters and any of the evils that exist in our world since Genesis 3. There are theological, scientific or philosophical answers that could be offered, but none of them gets to the true heart of the question being asked.

It's okay to say, “I don't know.” Grief doesn't often need your informed answer. The grieving need your support. Job asks "why" repeatedly, and we witness his friends’ feeble attempts to answer his question. Much of what they say is true, but they aren’t words fitly spoken, and they leave in their wake a friend who is increasingly devastated.

3. Point to Jesus

I want to be clear that when I say “point to Jesus,” it does not mean that we are to dish out Bible verses haphazardly. The Word of God is a sword, and as with any weapon, we want to handle it carefully and with wisdom. Please do not heavy-handedly offer something like Romans 8:28 as a tool for understanding suffering. Is the promise of Romans 8:28 true? You better believe it! Yet, getting to a place of understanding that in light of all of the complexities of domestic violence is something that takes time and the profound work of the Holy Spirit.

Rather, what I mean is that, in all conversations and with the utmost compassion, you should remind the grieving that they are not outside the love and care of the sovereign God of the universe. Remind them their suffering is not in vain, and that they have not been forsaken. Verses like Psalm 147:3, Isaiah 53:3, John 10:27-28, and Romans 8:31-39 and many others bring about healing when shared tenderly as we bear one another's burdens.

Domestic violence is a vile thing, and it is a darkness that leaves its victims in the shadows of grief. However, it is a darkness into which we go forth with gospel light. Friends, please don't shy away from those in the shadows for fear of saying the wrong thing. You don't have to know it all, do it all or be it all. Oftentimes, as the grieving recover by the grace of God, it’s enough that we are simply there with them—holding the light.

Article 12: The Future of AI

We affirm that AI will continue to be developed in ways that we cannot currently imagine or understand, including AI that will far surpass many human abilities. God alone has the power to create life, and no future advancements in AI will usurp Him as the Creator of life. The church has a unique role in proclaiming human dignity for all and calling for the humane use of AI in all aspects of society.

We deny that AI will make us more or less human, or that AI will ever obtain a coequal level of worth, dignity, or value to image-bearers. Future advancements in AI will not ultimately fulfill our longings for a perfect world. While we are not able to comprehend or know the future, we do not fear what is to come because we know that God is omniscient and that nothing we create will be able to thwart His redemptive plan for creation or to supplant humanity as His image-bearers.

Genesis 1; Isaiah 42:8; Romans 1:20-21; 5:2; Ephesians 1:4-6; 2 Timothy 1:7-9; Revelation 5:9-10

Article 11: Public Policy

We affirm that the fundamental purposes of government are to protect human beings from harm, punish those who do evil, uphold civil liberties, and to commend those who do good. The public has a role in shaping and crafting policies concerning the use of AI in society, and these decisions should not be left to those who develop these technologies or to governments to set norms.

We deny that AI should be used by governments, corporations, or any entity to infringe upon God-given human rights. AI, even in a highly advanced state, should never be delegated the governing authority that has been granted by an all-sovereign God to human beings alone. 

Romans 13:1-7; Acts 10:35; 1 Peter 2:13-14

Article 10: War

We affirm that the use of AI in warfare should be governed by love of neighbor and the principles of just war. The use of AI may mitigate the loss of human life, provide greater protection of non-combatants, and inform better policymaking. Any lethal action conducted or substantially enabled by AI must employ 5 human oversight or review. All defense-related AI applications, such as underlying data and decision-making processes, must be subject to continual review by legitimate authorities. When these systems are deployed, human agents bear full moral responsibility for any actions taken by the system.

We deny that human agency or moral culpability in war can be delegated to AI. No nation or group has the right to use AI to carry out genocide, terrorism, torture, or other war crimes.

Genesis 4:10; Isaiah 1:16-17; Psalm 37:28; Matthew 5:44; 22:37-39; Romans 13:4

Article 9: Security

We affirm that AI has legitimate applications in policing, intelligence, surveillance, investigation, and other uses supporting the government’s responsibility to respect human rights, to protect and preserve human life, and to pursue justice in a flourishing society.

We deny that AI should be employed for safety and security applications in ways that seek to dehumanize, depersonalize, or harm our fellow human beings. We condemn the use of AI to suppress free expression or other basic human rights granted by God to all human beings.

Romans 13:1-7; 1 Peter 2:13-14

Article 8: Data & Privacy

We affirm that privacy and personal property are intertwined individual rights and choices that should not be violated by governments, corporations, nation-states, and other groups, even in the pursuit of the common good. While God knows all things, it is neither wise nor obligatory to have every detail of one’s life open to society.

We deny the manipulative and coercive uses of data and AI in ways that are inconsistent with the love of God and love of neighbor. Data collection practices should conform to ethical guidelines that uphold the dignity of all people. We further deny that consent, even informed consent, although requisite, is the only necessary ethical standard for the collection, manipulation, or exploitation of personal data—individually or in the aggregate. AI should not be employed in ways that distort truth through the use of generative applications. Data should not be mishandled, misused, or abused for sinful purposes to reinforce bias, strengthen the powerful, or demean the weak.

Exodus 20:15, Psalm 147:5; Isaiah 40:13-14; Matthew 10:16 Galatians 6:2; Hebrews 4:12-13; 1 John 1:7 

Article 7: Work

We affirm that work is part of God’s plan for human beings participating in the cultivation and stewardship of creation. The divine pattern is one of labor and rest in healthy proportion to each other. Our view of work should not be confined to commercial activity; it must also include the many ways that human beings serve each other through their efforts. AI can be used in ways that aid our work or allow us to make fuller use of our gifts. The church has a Spirit-empowered responsibility to help care for those who lose jobs and to encourage individuals, communities, employers, and governments to find ways to invest in the development of human beings and continue making vocational contributions to our lives together.

We deny that human worth and dignity is reducible to an individual’s economic contributions to society alone. Humanity should not use AI and other technological innovations as a reason to move toward lives of pure leisure even if greater social wealth creates such possibilities.

Genesis 1:27; 2:5; 2:15; Isaiah 65:21-24; Romans 12:6-8; Ephesians 4:11-16

Article 6: Sexuality

We affirm the goodness of God’s design for human sexuality which prescribes the sexual union to be an exclusive relationship between a man and a woman in the lifelong covenant of marriage.

We deny that the pursuit of sexual pleasure is a justification for the development or use of AI, and we condemn the objectification of humans that results from employing AI for sexual purposes. AI should not intrude upon or substitute for the biblical expression of sexuality between a husband and wife according to God’s design for human marriage.

Genesis 1:26-29; 2:18-25; Matthew 5:27-30; 1 Thess 4:3-4

Article 5: Bias

We affirm that, as a tool created by humans, AI will be inherently subject to bias and that these biases must be accounted for, minimized, or removed through continual human oversight and discretion. AI should be designed and used in such ways that treat all human beings as having equal worth and dignity. AI should be utilized as a tool to identify and eliminate bias inherent in human decision-making.

We deny that AI should be designed or used in ways that violate the fundamental principle of human dignity for all people. Neither should AI be used in ways that reinforce or further any ideology or agenda, seeking to subjugate human autonomy under the power of the state.

Micah 6:8; John 13:34; Galatians 3:28-29; 5:13-14; Philippians 2:3-4; Romans 12:10

Article 4: Medicine

We affirm that AI-related advances in medical technologies are expressions of God’s common grace through and for people created in His image and that these advances will increase our capacity to provide enhanced medical diagnostics and therapeutic interventions as we seek to care for all people. These advances should be guided by basic principles of medical ethics, including beneficence, non-maleficence, autonomy, and justice, which are all consistent with the biblical principle of loving our neighbor.

We deny that death and disease—effects of the Fall—can ultimately be eradicated apart from Jesus Christ. Utilitarian applications regarding healthcare distribution should not override the dignity of human life. Fur- 3 thermore, we reject the materialist and consequentialist worldview that understands medical applications of AI as a means of improving, changing, or completing human beings.

Matthew 5:45; John 11:25-26; 1 Corinthians 15:55-57; Galatians 6:2; Philippians 2:4

Article 3: Relationship of AI & Humanity

We affirm the use of AI to inform and aid human reasoning and moral decision-making because it is a tool that excels at processing data and making determinations, which often mimics or exceeds human ability. While AI excels in data-based computation, technology is incapable of possessing the capacity for moral agency or responsibility.

We deny that humans can or should cede our moral accountability or responsibilities to any form of AI that will ever be created. Only humanity will be judged by God on the basis of our actions and that of the tools we create. While technology can be created with a moral use in view, it is not a moral agent. Humans alone bear the responsibility for moral decision making.

Romans 2:6-8; Galatians 5:19-21; 2 Peter 1:5-8; 1 John 2:1

Article 2: AI as Technology

We affirm that the development of AI is a demonstration of the unique creative abilities of human beings. When AI is employed in accordance with God’s moral will, it is an example of man’s obedience to the divine command to steward creation and to honor Him. We believe in innovation for the glory of God, the sake of human flourishing, and the love of neighbor. While we acknowledge the reality of the Fall and its consequences on human nature and human innovation, technology can be used in society to uphold human dignity. As a part of our God-given creative nature, human beings should develop and harness technology in ways that lead to greater flourishing and the alleviation of human suffering.

We deny that the use of AI is morally neutral. It is not worthy of man’s hope, worship, or love. Since the Lord Jesus alone can atone for sin and reconcile humanity to its Creator, technology such as AI cannot fulfill humanity’s ultimate needs. We further deny the goodness and benefit of any application of AI that devalues or degrades the dignity and worth of another human being. 

Genesis 2:25; Exodus 20:3; 31:1-11; Proverbs 16:4; Matthew 22:37-40; Romans 3:23

Article 1: Image of God

We affirm that God created each human being in His image with intrinsic and equal worth, dignity, and moral agency, distinct from all creation, and that humanity’s creativity is intended to reflect God’s creative pattern.

We deny that any part of creation, including any form of technology, should ever be used to usurp or subvert the dominion and stewardship which has been entrusted solely to humanity by God; nor should technology be assigned a level of human identity, worth, dignity, or moral agency.

Genesis 1:26-28; 5:1-2; Isaiah 43:6-7; Jeremiah 1:5; John 13:34; Colossians 1:16; 3:10; Ephesians 4:24