Three reasons Christian parents teach children to obey

October 11, 2018

“Am I doing this right?” I was holding a diaper, looking down at the tiny squirming newborn who wouldn’t keep still. Little did I know how often I would ask myself that question in the years to come—and that diapers were only the beginning.

When I brought my newborn home from the hospital, I brought home a bundle of needs—needs for food, protection, and comfort. Those physical needs were daunting enough. But as he grew into a toddler, I began to see spiritual needs for shepherding, guidance, and teaching. It doesn’t take long for us as parents to see that our children need more than physical care. They need discipline for their hearts.

Discipline is exhausting and emotional. It calls upon every ounce of our love, patience, and diligence. But the most frustrating part of discipline is not knowing if our kids really understand it. The goal of discipline is to point our kids to the gospel. Do they get it? How can we help them make that connection? What reasons can we give our kids to obey? “Because I said so,” might be the easiest answer, but here are three reasons that point our kids to the gospel. 

1. We obey because God is holy 

“Mom, how much does God weigh?” My kids are constantly trying to figure God out. They want physical dimensions, which I can’t give them. But I can show them his character; and discipline is the perfect opportunity. When my kids disobey, I explain to them that we are to be holy as God is holy (1 Pet. 1:16). God paints a picture of himself through his law. When we teach our kids not to steal, they learn that God is just. When we teach them not to hit, they learn that God is kind. God’s character is communicated through the righteousness he requires of his people. When we require our kids to obey, we show that God is worthy of our obedience. We also show them how far short we all fall from that worthiness. That brings us to the second reason. 

2. We obey because of what Jesus did 

My oldest son loves to earn money. Recently, he’s been holding out his hand for payment for every little task. We’ve had to talk about doing some tasks just out of joy and thankfulness for being part of the family. When it comes to obedience, kids naturally hold out their hands. “I obeyed. Now what do I get?” That’s because kids are naturally legalistic. They are wired to hyper-focus on themselves and their own good works. Human logic says it makes more sense to earn God’s favor than to receive it freely through grace. That’s why the greatest joy of gospel-centered parenting is pointing our kids away from themselves to Christ. We don’t obey to earn God’s favor, but because his favor has already been earned for us by another.

When our kids disobey we can say, “What you did was wrong. Do you know who never did anything wrong? Jesus! He lived a perfect life for us because he knew we could never do that. If we trust in him, his perfect life takes the place of our sin. Now we obey to thank him for everything he has done for us.” What a joyful reason to obey.  

3. We obey to receive blessing 

Do we ever get rewards for obedience? Yes, but the rewards might be different than our kids would expect. Recently my six-year-old told me, “When I tell the truth, I feel happy inside.” The greatest blessing of obedience is living in joyful harmony with our Creator. Repeatedly in Scripture we see a connection between obedience and blessing. God told his people, “If you keep my commandments you will be blessed” (Deut. 11:28). God told the children of the Israelites that if they obeyed they would “live long in the land” (Ex. 20:12). Does this mean if we obey we will always have worldly wealth and success? We know from examples such as Job and the martyrs in Hebrews 11 that that is not the case. So what blessings can we promise our children?

I love the way my pastor, David Graves, puts it:

As opposed to health and wealth, this promise is along pragmatic grounds. If you obey your parents, then you will learn the wisdom of how to make it through this fallen world with as few scrapes as possible. The child who habitually disobeys does not learn the necessity of hard work and the prudence of how not to be taken advantage of. It is not a promise of wealth, rather it is a promise of learning how to navigate.

We can assure our kids that God’s laws provide protection and peace—sometimes in a physical way, sometimes only spiritual.

Discipline is not something we do to our children, but for them. When we teach them to obey, we equip them to live lives full of blessing. It takes time to help little hearts understand what discipline is all about. In 1887, hymn writer John H. Sammis put it best when he wrote the beloved words: “Trust and obey, for there’s no other way to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey.”

Check out Sara’s book, For the Love of Discipline: When the Gospel Meets Tantrums and Time-Outs.

Sara Wallace

Sara Wallace graduated from The Master's University where she met her husband Dave. Within a few years she moved from classroom teacher to homeschool teacher. She teaches her five little boys at home in northern Idaho and writes about the intersection of grace and motherhood. She has written two books, The … Read More

Article 12: The Future of AI

We affirm that AI will continue to be developed in ways that we cannot currently imagine or understand, including AI that will far surpass many human abilities. God alone has the power to create life, and no future advancements in AI will usurp Him as the Creator of life. The church has a unique role in proclaiming human dignity for all and calling for the humane use of AI in all aspects of society.

We deny that AI will make us more or less human, or that AI will ever obtain a coequal level of worth, dignity, or value to image-bearers. Future advancements in AI will not ultimately fulfill our longings for a perfect world. While we are not able to comprehend or know the future, we do not fear what is to come because we know that God is omniscient and that nothing we create will be able to thwart His redemptive plan for creation or to supplant humanity as His image-bearers.

Genesis 1; Isaiah 42:8; Romans 1:20-21; 5:2; Ephesians 1:4-6; 2 Timothy 1:7-9; Revelation 5:9-10

Article 11: Public Policy

We affirm that the fundamental purposes of government are to protect human beings from harm, punish those who do evil, uphold civil liberties, and to commend those who do good. The public has a role in shaping and crafting policies concerning the use of AI in society, and these decisions should not be left to those who develop these technologies or to governments to set norms.

We deny that AI should be used by governments, corporations, or any entity to infringe upon God-given human rights. AI, even in a highly advanced state, should never be delegated the governing authority that has been granted by an all-sovereign God to human beings alone. 

Romans 13:1-7; Acts 10:35; 1 Peter 2:13-14

Article 10: War

We affirm that the use of AI in warfare should be governed by love of neighbor and the principles of just war. The use of AI may mitigate the loss of human life, provide greater protection of non-combatants, and inform better policymaking. Any lethal action conducted or substantially enabled by AI must employ 5 human oversight or review. All defense-related AI applications, such as underlying data and decision-making processes, must be subject to continual review by legitimate authorities. When these systems are deployed, human agents bear full moral responsibility for any actions taken by the system.

We deny that human agency or moral culpability in war can be delegated to AI. No nation or group has the right to use AI to carry out genocide, terrorism, torture, or other war crimes.

Genesis 4:10; Isaiah 1:16-17; Psalm 37:28; Matthew 5:44; 22:37-39; Romans 13:4

Article 9: Security

We affirm that AI has legitimate applications in policing, intelligence, surveillance, investigation, and other uses supporting the government’s responsibility to respect human rights, to protect and preserve human life, and to pursue justice in a flourishing society.

We deny that AI should be employed for safety and security applications in ways that seek to dehumanize, depersonalize, or harm our fellow human beings. We condemn the use of AI to suppress free expression or other basic human rights granted by God to all human beings.

Romans 13:1-7; 1 Peter 2:13-14

Article 8: Data & Privacy

We affirm that privacy and personal property are intertwined individual rights and choices that should not be violated by governments, corporations, nation-states, and other groups, even in the pursuit of the common good. While God knows all things, it is neither wise nor obligatory to have every detail of one’s life open to society.

We deny the manipulative and coercive uses of data and AI in ways that are inconsistent with the love of God and love of neighbor. Data collection practices should conform to ethical guidelines that uphold the dignity of all people. We further deny that consent, even informed consent, although requisite, is the only necessary ethical standard for the collection, manipulation, or exploitation of personal data—individually or in the aggregate. AI should not be employed in ways that distort truth through the use of generative applications. Data should not be mishandled, misused, or abused for sinful purposes to reinforce bias, strengthen the powerful, or demean the weak.

Exodus 20:15, Psalm 147:5; Isaiah 40:13-14; Matthew 10:16 Galatians 6:2; Hebrews 4:12-13; 1 John 1:7 

Article 7: Work

We affirm that work is part of God’s plan for human beings participating in the cultivation and stewardship of creation. The divine pattern is one of labor and rest in healthy proportion to each other. Our view of work should not be confined to commercial activity; it must also include the many ways that human beings serve each other through their efforts. AI can be used in ways that aid our work or allow us to make fuller use of our gifts. The church has a Spirit-empowered responsibility to help care for those who lose jobs and to encourage individuals, communities, employers, and governments to find ways to invest in the development of human beings and continue making vocational contributions to our lives together.

We deny that human worth and dignity is reducible to an individual’s economic contributions to society alone. Humanity should not use AI and other technological innovations as a reason to move toward lives of pure leisure even if greater social wealth creates such possibilities.

Genesis 1:27; 2:5; 2:15; Isaiah 65:21-24; Romans 12:6-8; Ephesians 4:11-16

Article 6: Sexuality

We affirm the goodness of God’s design for human sexuality which prescribes the sexual union to be an exclusive relationship between a man and a woman in the lifelong covenant of marriage.

We deny that the pursuit of sexual pleasure is a justification for the development or use of AI, and we condemn the objectification of humans that results from employing AI for sexual purposes. AI should not intrude upon or substitute for the biblical expression of sexuality between a husband and wife according to God’s design for human marriage.

Genesis 1:26-29; 2:18-25; Matthew 5:27-30; 1 Thess 4:3-4

Article 5: Bias

We affirm that, as a tool created by humans, AI will be inherently subject to bias and that these biases must be accounted for, minimized, or removed through continual human oversight and discretion. AI should be designed and used in such ways that treat all human beings as having equal worth and dignity. AI should be utilized as a tool to identify and eliminate bias inherent in human decision-making.

We deny that AI should be designed or used in ways that violate the fundamental principle of human dignity for all people. Neither should AI be used in ways that reinforce or further any ideology or agenda, seeking to subjugate human autonomy under the power of the state.

Micah 6:8; John 13:34; Galatians 3:28-29; 5:13-14; Philippians 2:3-4; Romans 12:10

Article 4: Medicine

We affirm that AI-related advances in medical technologies are expressions of God’s common grace through and for people created in His image and that these advances will increase our capacity to provide enhanced medical diagnostics and therapeutic interventions as we seek to care for all people. These advances should be guided by basic principles of medical ethics, including beneficence, non-maleficence, autonomy, and justice, which are all consistent with the biblical principle of loving our neighbor.

We deny that death and disease—effects of the Fall—can ultimately be eradicated apart from Jesus Christ. Utilitarian applications regarding healthcare distribution should not override the dignity of human life. Fur- 3 thermore, we reject the materialist and consequentialist worldview that understands medical applications of AI as a means of improving, changing, or completing human beings.

Matthew 5:45; John 11:25-26; 1 Corinthians 15:55-57; Galatians 6:2; Philippians 2:4

Article 3: Relationship of AI & Humanity

We affirm the use of AI to inform and aid human reasoning and moral decision-making because it is a tool that excels at processing data and making determinations, which often mimics or exceeds human ability. While AI excels in data-based computation, technology is incapable of possessing the capacity for moral agency or responsibility.

We deny that humans can or should cede our moral accountability or responsibilities to any form of AI that will ever be created. Only humanity will be judged by God on the basis of our actions and that of the tools we create. While technology can be created with a moral use in view, it is not a moral agent. Humans alone bear the responsibility for moral decision making.

Romans 2:6-8; Galatians 5:19-21; 2 Peter 1:5-8; 1 John 2:1

Article 2: AI as Technology

We affirm that the development of AI is a demonstration of the unique creative abilities of human beings. When AI is employed in accordance with God’s moral will, it is an example of man’s obedience to the divine command to steward creation and to honor Him. We believe in innovation for the glory of God, the sake of human flourishing, and the love of neighbor. While we acknowledge the reality of the Fall and its consequences on human nature and human innovation, technology can be used in society to uphold human dignity. As a part of our God-given creative nature, human beings should develop and harness technology in ways that lead to greater flourishing and the alleviation of human suffering.

We deny that the use of AI is morally neutral. It is not worthy of man’s hope, worship, or love. Since the Lord Jesus alone can atone for sin and reconcile humanity to its Creator, technology such as AI cannot fulfill humanity’s ultimate needs. We further deny the goodness and benefit of any application of AI that devalues or degrades the dignity and worth of another human being. 

Genesis 2:25; Exodus 20:3; 31:1-11; Proverbs 16:4; Matthew 22:37-40; Romans 3:23

Article 1: Image of God

We affirm that God created each human being in His image with intrinsic and equal worth, dignity, and moral agency, distinct from all creation, and that humanity’s creativity is intended to reflect God’s creative pattern.

We deny that any part of creation, including any form of technology, should ever be used to usurp or subvert the dominion and stewardship which has been entrusted solely to humanity by God; nor should technology be assigned a level of human identity, worth, dignity, or moral agency.

Genesis 1:26-28; 5:1-2; Isaiah 43:6-7; Jeremiah 1:5; John 13:34; Colossians 1:16; 3:10; Ephesians 4:24