How parents can talk with their teenagers about anxiety
By / Nov 9

Anxiety is widespread among teenagers. If you lined up 100 teenagers between the ages of 13 to 18, you could expect approximately every third teenager (31%) to experience an anxiety disorder at some point in their teen years. And almost every 10th teenager (8.5%) would experience anxiety that causes severe impairment.[i] As the parent of an anxious teen, you may feel a sense of fear, uncertainty, or powerlessness. How can you help? What if you can’t help? How severe is your child’s anxiety? At what point should you consider counseling? 

Perhaps you even feel a sense of frustration. Wouldn’t your child feel less anxious if he would listen to you and and stay off his phone? Or maybe you have stepped into “fix-it mode,” searching for causes and next steps to take. You want your child to find relief, so your natural tendency may be to brainstorm solutions and offer suggestions of what you think will help. While suggestions can be helpful, oftentimes the best place to start is by having an open and ongoing conversation with your teen about their experience. Here are some questions to help you begin.

Questions to get the conversation started

What is anxiety like for you? Many teenagers don’t realize when they are anxious. Their back tension, racing thoughts, counting rituals, insomnia, nervous energy, or other anxiety symptoms feel normal because these experiences are the only thing they know. Teenagers often need help verbalizing their anxiety symptoms so they can begin to recognize when they are anxious. Ask specific questions to help them gain awareness. What does anxiety feel like for them? What thoughts race through their minds? Where do they notice anxiety symptoms in their bodies? 

What seems to trigger your anxiety? Teenagers also often need help connecting their anxiety to specific situations in their life. Is the tension in their shoulders related to homework? Do the racing thoughts occur when they spend too much time on the phone? Does the anxiety tend to happen at a certain time of day, in a specific location, or around particular people? Ask questions to help your child begin to make these connections. 

When is the first time you remember feeling anxious? You can also investigate when the anxiety first started and what was happening in your child’s life at the time. The onset of anxiety can often be traced back to distressing events such as a parent’s divorce, an experience of bullying, or the death of a family member. The impact of events such as these can linger for many years. Sometimes, present symptoms of anxiety can be resolved when teenagers have the chance to process past distressing experiences.   

How do you think your habit of _______ impacts your anxiety? Many teenagers have bad habits that make their anxiety worse. Don’t we all? Parents often recognize that their teenagers would feel better if they would go to bed at a more reasonable time, stay more active, spend less time on the phone, or stop other stress-inducing habits. But how can you help teenagers make important changes if they bristle the moment these topics are mentioned? While you may need to enforce rules surrounding certain problem areas, it’s often best to start by helping teenagers assess their habits for themselves. 

Teenagers need to begin taking ownership of how some habits such as isolating, talking to certain friends, overusing social media, or binge-watching TV impact their anxiety. Help them investigate areas such as these by framing your concerns as questions, instead of statements or lectures. For example, how does it affect them when they spend the afternoon on TikTok? If they notice that it negatively affects their anxiety, what do they want to do about this?

Are there any calming activities you would like to use as an alternative to habits you realize may be problematic? Small changes such as getting outside for regular walks, taking five minutes a day to breathe deeply, or taking breaks from homework can make a difference. Talk about some possible changes, but don’t send them off to implement these practices alone. Go with them. Go on that walk together. Breathe deeply together. Stay off social media together. Go out of your way to communicate that you are on their side and in this struggle with them.  

How does your relationship with God help you when you feel anxious? And if it doesn’t seem to help, how are you making sense of that? The way we frame conversations about anxiety and faith with teenagers is important. Teenagers are often black-and-white thinkers. They sometimes misinterpret our encouragements to “bring their anxiety to God” as pressure to simply pray harder and read their Bibles more. They can then feel guilty, confused, or angry when they do these things and still feel anxious. 

Instead of asking a teenager “are you praying?” or “are you reading your Bible?”, we need to make the connection between anxiety and faith more compelling. More invitational. More honest about the mysterious ways God does and doesn’t work through Scripture and prayer. Less focused on hints of legalism and more focused on the relationship we can experience with the Lord. 

God does not stand over us and demand that we pray more and read our Bibles more when we are afraid. Rather, we get to go to him for help. We get to be completely honest with him about our experience. How can you help your teenager grasp this comfort? This is an opportunity to share your own experience of how you go to the Lord when you feel afraid.  

Do you want to try counseling? Some teenagers fight the idea of counseling. Other teenagers want counseling but hesitate to ask for it because they have real or imagined fears about how a parent may respond. It’s worth initiating the conversation to see if counseling has crossed their mind. If they do desire counseling, always honor this request. 

Is there anything that I am doing or anything that is happening in our home that makes you feel more anxious? This is a difficult question to ask, but I encourage you to go here. You may or may not agree with what your teenager says, but either way you will gain valuable information. It’s important to assess how the atmosphere of your whole household affects your teenager’s anxiety. Children are like sponges, absorbing their parent’s energy and emotions. This is especially true of young children, but we can’t ignore how teenagers also soak up the emotions of adults. When a parent feels anxious, angry, stressed, or worried, a teenager picks up these feelings. When a parent feels calm, a teenager absorbs this sense of peace. 

So when you notice anxiety in your teenager, it’s always an invitation to consider your own inner life. If you find anxiety, fear, worry, or stress within yourself, it’s likely affecting your teenager as well. 

However, before you discuss with your teenager the questions listed above, consider answering them for yourself. Do you know when you are stressed or anxious? Are you using the habits you encourage your teenager to use? Sometimes helping your anxious teenager begins with addressing your own inner struggle. 

Exploring your own anxiety should not lead to discouragement or self-criticism, though. We all feel anxious at times. Rather, beginning with yourself may be a needed invitation. God has given you an opportunity to slow down and nurture your own anxious heart. As you do so, you will become more equipped to understand and help the anxious teenager in your care. 

[i] https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/statistics/any-anxiety-disorder

What to do when you’re overwhelmed by the world’s suffering
By / Aug 22

This past week, I opened my computer and logged in to Facebook. I read an article about a recent shooting, scrolled past a post about a new virus, and read someone’s account of living with long COVID (long-term effects from the infection). Moving on to Twitter, I skimmed through a heated argument about the Dobbs decision, read news about famine and war, and saw several death announcements. I decided not to move on to Instagram. 

I often feel heavy and overwhelmed after spending time online, and I know I’m not alone. Someone recently shared with me how much he had struggled after reading about the Ukraine war. He saw pictures of a family being separated and began to replay these images in his mind. Lying awake at night, he considered what he would do in a similar scenario. 

Another person described her struggle with anxiety and racing thoughts. She had watched a video of a recent school shooting and couldn’t stop thinking about it. She worried about her own children. She grieved the children who were lost. The thoughts would not relent. 

Constant online access has made us daily witnesses to the grief and trauma of millions of people. Each time we open our internet browsers, we encounter news that forces us to consider issues of political conflict, theological disagreement, global suffering, financial stress, illness, and war. Many people feel a sense of tension. We want to stay informed, but too much information can leave us weighed down with thoughts and emotions that feel too heavy to bear. 

What should we do? Should we attempt to carry the sorrows and burdens of the world? Or should we distance ourselves from other peoples’ suffering to protect ourselves? Perhaps it is some of both. 

Remember those who suffer 

Scripture suggests there is something good and holy about remembering other peoples’ suffering, even when they are physically distant from us. Hebrews 13:3 tells us to “remember those in prison as if you were together with them in prison, and those who are mistreated as if you yourselves were suffering.” We honor people in their suffering by not forgetting about them. Instead of withdrawing from the world, we bear witness to other peoples’ pain and remember them in the same way we would want to be remembered in similar circumstances. 

Remembering often awakens a sense of compassion, which often leads to a desire to act. It might lead us to pray, give money, volunteer, speak up, or push for change. These are all good things. But too much remembering can lead to racing thoughts and anxiety. Overextending compassion can result in compassion fatigue. Giving to the point of exhaustion can lead to burnout. Absorbing too many stories of other peoples’ trauma can result in secondary trauma. That feeling of tension remains. 

Carry your own load 

We can break out of this tension by balancing wisdom from Hebrews 13:3 with wisdom from Galatians 6:5. A few verses after we are told to carry other peoples’ burdens in Galatians 6:2, we are instructed to each carry our own load. 

Recently, I realized that I was trying to carry someone else’s load. This person was experiencing a heavy struggle, and there were some practical ways I could help to carry her burdens. I could listen and ask good questions. I could sit with her in her grief. But I could not fix the problem. There was a depth to her emotional pain that I could not truly, fully understand. Aspects of her suffering could only be carried between her and God. I had to let go. I had to let her carry her own load. 

As we are inundated with stories of global suffering, we may be tempted to carry loads that do not belong to us. We may hold on to a false sense of responsibility that leads us to overextend ourselves in our care and compassion for other people. We may attempt to fix problems and over identify with burdens that were never given to us to carry. 

Cast your anxiety on the Lord 

The other day, after I closed out of Facebook and Twitter and went to bed, my mind remained filled with thoughts about what I had just read. What if I also get long COVID? What do I think about this or that debate? How should I respond to this person or react to that cause? 

Lying in bed, I used a strategy I often teach people who come to me for counseling. I closed my eyes and began to mentally list my concerns. I gave each concern a name and visualized myself writing it down on a slip of paper. The pandemic and fear of illness went on one slip. Images of hungry, displaced people went on another. A political post that frustrated me, a news article about a school shooting, and several death announcements each got a slip. I took each slip of paper and visualized myself placing them inside a box one at a time. I closed the box and remembered that God was right there with me. I handed him the box and prayed a short prayer, releasing my concerns to him. 

In counseling, this strategy is called containment. In Scripture, we see this idea described in 1 Peter 5:7 as casting our anxieties on the Lord. It is a way to set aside thoughts, feelings, and images that feel upsetting or distressing so we can proceed with our day. The goal of containing our thoughts and giving them to God is not to ignore or downplay important issues. It isn’t being selfish, indifferent, or ignorant in the face of suffering. Instead, it is a way to accept God’s care for us. He invites us to trust him by releasing to him the fears, problems, and concerns we cannot solve. 

What people, causes, local issues, and global concerns weigh on you today? Sit for a moment and honor those who suffer by remembering them. Perhaps choose one or two ways to carry someone else’s burdens. But then, let go. Carry your own load, and let your neighbor do the same. Release your anxieties to God. The world is not yours to carry. 

10 things Christians should know about kids and anxiety
By / May 2

Much needed attention has been drawn to the spike in mental health concerns experienced by children and teens in recent years, especially in the aftermath of COVID-19. A review of 29 studies conducted during the pandemic reported a doubling of rates of child and adolescent anxiety and depression. Extensive media coverage was devoted to a recommendation from an independent task force composed of experts in primary care and prevention that all children ages 8 and up should be screened for anxiety disorders, and several large medical organizations have joined forces in declaring a National State of Emergency in children’s mental health.

In light of these recent events, what should pastors, church staff, parents, and grandparents know about the effects of anxiety on our children and youth? Here are 10 important pieces of information. 

1. Anxiety is a normal, and often healthy emotional state. It may even provide an impetus for us to draw closer to and become more grounded in our relationship with God. When we talk of kids with anxiety disorders, we’re describing situations when a child’s anxiety is so great that it begins to interfere with their attendance or performance in school, their ability to make or keep friends, their ability to engage in age-appropriate tasks of daily living, or their ability to take part in family activities and responsibilities in an age-appropriate way. 

2. Anxiety disorders are the most common mental health conditions affecting youth ages 12–17 in the U.S. They impact nearly one in ten children at any point in time and occur more than twice as often as depression among children ages 3-17.

3. Rates of anxiety disorders in children and teens were increasing rapidly prior to COVID-19. According to data obtained from the National Survey of Children’s Health, rates of anxiety in children ages 3-17 increased by 29% between 2016 and 2020. 

4. “Red flags” indicative of problematic anxiety are readily observable, even though children and teens are often good at hiding their anxiety from parents and other significant adults. Warning signs of significant anxiety may include:

  • Excessive absences from school or school refusal
  • Frequent physical complaints (headaches, stomach aches, muscle aches, diarrhea, dizziness, weakness, lightheadedness) not attributable to another medical condition
  • Sleep disturbances
  • Excessive need for reassurance
  • Panic, tantrums when separation from parents is necessary
  • Frequent questions beginning with “What if”
  • Avoidance of social situations
  • Excessive perfectionism
  • Many worries about events before they happen
  • Poor self-confidence

5. Kids may experience symptoms of one or more anxiety disorders, and the nature of their anxiety often changes over time. 

  • Generalized Anxiety Disorder is characterized by the presence of excessive worry on most days often accompanied by sleep problems, muscle aches, irritability, restlessness, fatigue, and poor concentration. 
  • Children and teens with Separation Anxiety Disorder typically experience excessive fear or distress when away from parents or loved ones. They may struggle to sleep in their own bed, leave for school, to be alone upstairs or in the basement, and harbor irrational fears about themselves or a loved one being kidnapped, getting into a serious accident, or developing a life-threatening illness.
  • Kids with specific phobias experience fear of certain objects or situations, often resulting in elaborate avoidance strategies. Fear of germs has been a common concern since the beginning of COVID-19. 
  • Social Anxiety Disorder is associated with significant fear of acting in a manner that will result in embarrassment or humiliation. Affected children may struggle to ask questions in class, order food in a restaurant, or experience great distress at the prospect of meeting new people.
  • Panic Disorder is associated with brief, recurrent, unanticipated episodes of intense fear, accompanied by a characteristic set of physical symptoms, a sense of impending doom, and the urge to flee or escape the place where they experience symptoms. Agoraphobia is a closely related condition in which intense symptoms of anxiety occur in situations experienced as unsafe with no easy way to escape without becoming the focus of undesired attention. 
  • Children and teens with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) experience recurrent, intrusive thoughts or compulsive, recurrent, repetitive behaviors associated with significant mental distress. They may struggle with excessive perfectionism, making and sticking to decisions, or time-consuming rituals for counting, checking, arranging, or ordering items, grooming, or washing. 

6. Effective treatments are available for children and teens with anxiety disorders. A large, well-designed, government-funded research study reported response rates of 55% to treatment with medication alone, 60% to a specific type of counseling (cognitive-behavioral therapy) alone, and 81% to a combination of the two.

7. Fewer than 60% of kids with anxiety disorders receive any form of effective treatment, despite the availability of therapy and medication. 

8. The presence in a family of a child with an anxiety disorder significantly decreases the likelihood of the family attending church. A study examining data from over 250,000 parent interviews obtained as part of the National Children’s Health Survey noted that having a child with anxiety decreases by 45% the likelihood of the family having set foot in a church in the past year. Note: Church attendance decreases by 73% when a child has depression and 19% when a child has ADHD.

9. Common challenges kids with anxiety disorders experience at church include:

  • Separating from parents before and during worship services.
  • Taking part in church events and activities that depart from the weekly routine such as Vacation Bible School or take place in unfamiliar places, like retreats or mission trips.
  • Expectations for self-disclosure in small groups.
  • Group activities in which they’re at risk of becoming a center of attention by being called on to read or answer questions. 
  • Large group social situations, such as the informal times before youth group or worship services.
  • Transitions between age-group ministries (elementary to middle school, middle school to high school ministry) when they encounter many unfamiliar kids who are older and have established friendships.

10. Kids with anxiety disorders from families who are regularly attending church may experience unique challenges as they grow in their faith. Kids with symptoms of OCD often wrestle with fears their salvation may not be genuine. Others suffer from the belief that the persistence of their anxiety symptoms is indicative of a lack of faith or question God’s presence when prayers for relief from their anxiety seemingly go unanswered. They very much need parents and other adults (children’s and youth ministry leaders, counselors, Sunday School teachers, or AWANA leaders) able to provide wisdom and comfort grounded in Scripture and personal experience.

Pastors, ministry leaders, and families can do much to help. Kids learn how to manage their own worries by observing the ways in which adults in their lives respond when dealing with their own anxieties. Adults who are struggling with anxiety will serve themselves and the children in their lives when they seek help by modeling healthy and appropriate responses to anxiety. 

In addition, parents of kids with significant anxiety disorders should be encouraged to seek the assistance of qualified professionals, and pastors and other ministry leaders should be prepared to help families find the appropriate help. Pastors and church leaders can also seek out the necessary resources to develop a strategy for outreach and inclusion with families of children with anxiety disorders and other mental health disorders who have been unable to attend church because of their child’s condition.  

God invites us to come to him with our anxieties, casting them on his able shoulders because he cares for us (1 Pet. 5:17). And as the Church, we must be a refuge for those weighed down with cares, leading adults and children alike to find peaceful pasture under the faithful watch of our Good Shepherd (Ps. 23). The circumstances in our our chaotic world will continually tempt Christians to be consumed with worry, but as we seek to help and equip those who are struggling the most among us, we can remind them of the true and active words that Jesus speaks to our souls: “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world” (John 16:33).

How the social internet is making our teenagers anxious
By / Mar 9

Do you remember what it felt like to walk the hallways of high school between classes or sit at the lunch table? Hallways and lunch rooms were the primary stages for social engagement in high school in years past. Sure, you talked with your peers in class, but most of the time you were paying attention to lectures or doing work. It was that time in between classes or while eating lunch that the social dynamics were most active.

Everyone, even the kids who say they aren’t, is performing in some way. High school hallways and lunch rooms are like little stages on which teenagers craft their personas and identities among their peers. It’s exciting and stressful, just like performing on any stage. In the 20th century, teenagers left the social stages when they went home. Unless they had plans to attend a social function in the evening or hit up the mall, the social dynamics of high school were left for phone calls with trusted friends until the next school day.

Today, as Derek Thompson says in his book Hit Makers, teenagers are always in the high school hallways. There is no escaping the social stages on which teenagers perform, because instead of walking the runway of the high school hallways for a couple hours a day, five days a week, teenagers have their personal stages in their pockets, calling them to perform every hour of every day with no opportunity to retreat to a social backstage for rest from their ever-present performance.

If you remember the social stressors of the high school hallways and lunch rooms, you can empathize with the feelings today’s teens have as they carry those performance arenas around in their pockets all the time. Is there any wonder, then, why teenagers are more anxious and depressed than before? 

The relationship between social media and depression

Mountains of data have been collected in the last few years that point to a clear relationship between increased social media use and increased experiences of anxiety and depression. Perhaps the most dramatic example of the correlation between social media use and symptoms of anxiety and depression come from the current teenagers that make up Gen Z or “iGen,” as they have been called by researcher and author Jean Twenge. Authors Jonathan Haidt and Greg Lukianoff cite one particularly troubling study in their book The Coddling of the American Mind. Research shows that, in the early 2000s, just more than one-in-ten girls aged 12-17 had a “major depressive episode” in the previous year. But, by 2016, nearly one-in-five girls aged 12-17 had a major depressive episode in the previous year. The rate of major depressive episodes among adolescent girls nearly doubled in less than a decade. Haidt and Lukianoff note that adolescent boys also experienced an increase in depressive episodes, but not as dramatic as that of girls.

Girls are more likely to become anxious or depressed because of increased social media use than boys because the root of anxiety and depression in girls tends to lie more in social dynamics than it does for boys. Whereas boys often deal with social conflict through direct, physical confrontation, girls are more likely to deal with social conflict in ways exacerbated by social media, which is one explanation for their increased anxiety and depression.

“Being a viewer in your own life”

Bo Burnham is a comedian, actor, and director. His career began when he started posting off-color comedic songs to a YouTube channel when he was in high school and YouTube was a relatively new platform. Burnham and I are roughly the same age, and I remember watching his videos in high school ashamed at how hard I was laughing because of how inappropriate they were (and are). Burnham’s 2021 Netflix special Inside is a comedy and a tragedy all wrapped into one hour-long program, and I could write pages about it here, as it is full of masterful commentary on the absurdity of the social internet. But instead, I want to call attention to a quote he gave when he was interviewed following the release of a movie he wrote and directed, Eighth Grade. 

The movie, which accurately depicts the most awkward aspects of the modern eighth grade experience, naturally features social media heavily. The film’s main character is an aspiring YouTuber, much like Burnham was when he was in high school. Burnham says regarding the social pressures young people face today that no one has ever had to face before:

What is the feeling of walking through your life and not just living your life, not just living your life—which is already [hard] and impossible—but also taking inventory of your life, being a viewer of your own life, living an experience and at the same time hovering behind yourself and watching yourself live that experience? Being nostalgic for moments that haven’t happened yet. Planning your future to look back on it.

Those are really weird, dissociative things that are, I think, new because of the specific structure of social media and how it dissociates ourselves from ourselves.

We find ourselves in a spot in which we feel we have to live our lives and create a documentary of our lives at the same time. We, as Burnham says, hover behind ourselves and watch ourselves live our lives while living our lives. Is it any wonder mental health crises are on the rise?

Another unfortunate reality is that this is not limited to teenagers. Data shows that social media use is adversely affecting the mental health of adults just as it is with teens. Sure, it’s safe to say that adults may feel less peer pressure to be as active on social media as teens are, but we’re all performing in the same way. With constant performance comes constant pressure. With constant pressure comes the gnawing anxiety that you’re going to fail in the spotlight at some point. How long can you really perform before you need to take a break? What if you feel like you can never take a break and log off?

Navigating the current technology and social media landscape as a parent, let alone as a Christian parent, is daunting. On one hand, outright banning all social media activity can unintentionally ostracize your child from his or her peers. On the other hand, there is plenty of evidence to show that social media can easily hurt young people. In the face of the fear and difficulty that comes with parenting amid such tension, we parents must run to the Scriptures and cling to our God, who says in Isaiah 41:10, “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” God is with us as we love our children and do all we can to lead them in the ways they should go. We must lean on him for our strength and our hope.

This article has been adapted from “Terms of Service” from B&H Publishing (2022). 

How the overwhelmed mom can start to reduce stress
By / Nov 22

Due to the pandemic, more emphasis has been placed on mental health. Stress, anxiety, and depression are at the forefront of discussions. However, mothers have suffered from stress long before COVID-19 hit. Careers, parental responsibilities, household chores, and guilt — especially during the holidays — can leave moms feeling burned out. Outside factors (i.e., societal upheaval, finances, etc.) only add to stressful feelings.

As a mom, stress can negatively influence the parent-child relationship. Chronically stressed mothers are more likely to be emotionally unavailable for their children and have a higher risk of developing mental health issues. Dealing with chronic stress can free moms to better handle the big emotions of their children and the day-to-day struggles of life.

Signs of stress

Though we hear a lot about stress, many of us don’t talk about it or understand its effects. What is stress? Stress can be defined as our body’s response to pressure that causes feelings of physical or emotional tension. When we initially encounter a danger or threat, our bodies react with a flight-or-fight response, known as acute stress, causing our nervous system to pump adrenaline into our bodies. If the threat or stress doesn’t subside, our body releases stress hormones. The result of these physiological responses includes: a faster pulse, an increase in blood pressure, changes in airways, extra oxygen to the brain, heightened senses, and changes in blood vessels. These responses are beneficial during times of danger.1Bruce S. McEwen (2007) Physiology and Neurobiology of Stress and Adaptation: Central Role of the Brain. Physiological Reviews, 87 (3), 873-904.

After the stressful event ends, the parasympathetic nervous system will then “reset” the body, stopping the rush of hormones. Problems with stress typically arrive when stress doesn’t cease and our bodies continue to pump stress hormones into our bodies. Acute stress becomes chronic stress.2Sharma DK (2018) Physiology of Stress and its Management. Journal of Medicine Study and Research, 1 (1).

How do you know if you are experiencing chronic stress? Chances are you “feel” stressed, but here are some warning signs:

  • Physical: Chest pain, headaches, GI issues, fatigue, high blood pressure, heart issues, weakened immune system
  • Behavioral: Sleep disturbances, irrational fears, anxiety attacks
  • Cognitive: Rumination, difficulty concentrating
  • Emotional: Irritability, crying, angry, bitterness, mood disorders
  • Relational: Blame shifting, short-fused
  • Spiritual: Disconnected, unrepentant sin, anger toward God, complacency

9 stress-reduction tips

If you can identify with the warning signs, you may be living in a state of chronic stress. So, what can you do about it? You can start by acknowledging two facts: 

  • All stress won’t fully cease to exist on this side of eternity. Stress is a natural consequence of the fall (Genesis 3). Original sin brought the commencement of brokenness into the world, and brokenness causes stress. 
  • God designed us with limitations, and those limitations are for our good. Operating within God’s boundaries can help reduce stress.

With those two things in mind, I want to share a few tips to improve stress levels and live within God’s limitations. It may not be possible to accomplish every suggestion all at once, so start small. Pick one or two stress-reducing items, and do those consistently. You can build upon your progress over time by adding other stress relievers. 

Life-enhancing tasks: God has given us a brain to acquire knowledge. Learning a new skill helps stockpile cognitive reserves. Improvement in cognitive functioning provides a greater ability to deal with stress. For overwhelmed mothers with little free time, try to eliminate a life-draining item first (i.e., social media), and replace it with a life-enhancing task (i.e., educational audiobook).

Thinking patterns: A mother’s perception of her parental role and responsibilities plays a key factor in stress levels. Do you view motherhood as a God-given role or a burden? Believing motherhood is unimportant creates feelings of being trapped, which is stressful. Any thought regarding motherhood as insignificant needs to be taken captive, as it goes against God’s Word (1 Cor. 10:5) and harms the parent-child relationship. Thought logs and journals can help uncover negative thinking patterns or lies that trap us, while memorizing Scripture gives truth to combat negative thinking.

Physical activities: God created our bodies to depend upon certain physical activities. Those activities, as repeatedly shown in clinical research, also help reduce stress. Here are some of them:

  • Exercise: Our bodies were made for movement. Things like exercise lead to anti-inflammatory responses, better physical health, improved memory, increased attention, and overall better brain functioning. Do you have trouble exercising because you are always with children? Put them in a stroller or have them ride their bikes, and get moving with them!3Jackson, EM.(2013) Stress Relief: The Role of Exercise in Stress Management. ACSM’s Journal of Health and Fitness. 17 (3). 14-19
  • Sleep: Sleeping the recommended amount can be tough, especially for moms whose children don’t sleep through the night. However, it isn’t just moms with little kids who are sleep deprived. According to the Center for Disease Control (CDC), approximately 1 in 3 adults do not obtain the recommended amount of sleep, which is 7–9 hours. Sleep deprivation can contribute to weight gain, irritability, lack of concentration, fatigue, and health issues, all of which exacerbate stress. To get better sleep, try committing to an appropriate bedtime and nighttime routine, eliminating electronics an hour before bed, and consulting with your doctor if you struggle to fall asleep or stay asleep. And don’t forget to take naps.4https://www.google.com/url?q=https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/stress/2013/sleep&sa=D&source=docs&ust=1637336158909000&usg=AOvVaw2jSfg81f3A9rSXyFa7cCQz
  • Healthy eating: Our bodies need certain nutrients to thrive and feel good. A poor diet can lead to vitamin deficiency, creating a whole host of negative physical and emotional side effects. Eating healthy can reduce health issues, which in turn, reduces stress. 

Rest: Research suggests relaxation and meditation are two avenues to counteract stress. As Christians, we know God has called us to rest (Sabbath), pray, and meditate specifically on his Word. God even modeled the Sabbath for us when he created the world. It’s okay, even commanded, to rest from our to-do lists.

Community: Throughout Genesis we see all the good things God made, until his statement in Genesis 2:18, “It is not good for man to be alone.” God created us for relationships. In fact, our brains are hardwired to need others.5Siegel, D., & Bryson, T. (2012) The Whole Brain Child. Bantam Book. Find other Christians to connect with so you can “carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you fulfill the law of Christ” (Gal. 6:2 NIV). 

Enjoyment: God wants us to enjoy good things. He made the sunset beautiful, food delicious, and friendship necessary — for his glory and our pleasure. Pleasurable activities like vacations, date nights, and coffee with friends are all good things and can help reduce stress. The caution lies in making good things into idols. Moderation and right perception about pleasurable activities are key. 

Ask for help: Acknowledging that we do not encompass every spiritual gift or every skill frees us to ask others for help. Partnering with others reflects God’s beautiful design of diversity and gives others opportunities to utilize their God-given gifts. Trying to do everything independently creates stress, and can be a form of pride, so ask others for help.

Flexibility: Chaos feels hectic and stressful. Why? We were created in God’s image, and he is not chaotic (1 Cor. 14:33 NIV). To help reduce chaos and stress, create a flexible schedule for you and your family.

Finances: Failing to use our finances wisely is a major source of stress. God gives us principles in Scripture that help us steward what he’s given us for his glory. Obeying God’s Word and putting money in its proper place reduces stress. How we use our resources will look different from person to person, but there is no doubt that Christians are not to be slaves to money. The Money Challenge by Art Rainer, and Redeeming Money by Paul David Tripp are two recommended reads for financial management.

Motherhood is a profound, but sometimes stressful, God-given role. He will give you what you need to care for your children. And remember, even amongst the stress, God is using motherhood to sanctify you and your children to look more like Christ.

For more information from Dr. Sarah Rainer on “The Overwhelmed Mom,” check out The Mom Village Podcasts: part 1 and part 2.

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    Bruce S. McEwen (2007) Physiology and Neurobiology of Stress and Adaptation: Central Role of the Brain. Physiological Reviews, 87 (3), 873-904.
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    Sharma DK (2018) Physiology of Stress and its Management. Journal of Medicine Study and Research, 1 (1).
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    Jackson, EM.(2013) Stress Relief: The Role of Exercise in Stress Management. ACSM’s Journal of Health and Fitness. 17 (3). 14-19
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    https://www.google.com/url?q=https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/stress/2013/sleep&sa=D&source=docs&ust=1637336158909000&usg=AOvVaw2jSfg81f3A9rSXyFa7cCQz
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    Siegel, D., & Bryson, T. (2012) The Whole Brain Child. Bantam Book.

When a pastor’s child has suspected mental health issues
By / Oct 21

Many moms and dads are facing the challenge of parenting a child with a mental health diagnosis — but often in silence. Due to the history of mental health stigma, especially in the church, it may be hard for pastors and church staff to vocalize when mental health issues are occurring in their own homes. Self-blame or embarrassment may keep church leaders from seeking appropriate help for their children and family.

Where are these parents to start? How do they help their child? And what resources are available to them? Based on my experience in child and adolescent psychology, I want to encourage you if you find yourself asking some of these questions. 

Keeping a right perspective

The challenging journey of parenting a child with mental illness begins with perspective. 

Christian parents should strive to view children and parenting through the lens of a biblical worldview and sound theology. An intricate and creative God designed the human body with great intricacy. We are not simply spiritual beings, but relational beings comprised of biology, emotions, and spirit. The result of sin (Genesis 3) is the corruption in every area of our beings, both physical and spiritual. The Fall negatively affects our development, biology, emotion, souls, and most importantly our relationship with God and others. These areas intertwine and impact overall functioning. Disruption in any of these areas can result in mental health issues. While many mental health issues lean more toward biological underpinnings (i.e., Tourette syndrome, Autism Spectrum Disorder, learning disability), other mental health issues are more directly influenced by relationships and emotion. 

Keeping this perspective in mind regarding children’s spiritual and physical development can help you have realistic expectations of your child. From a spiritual standpoint, you need to consider whether your child has put their faith in Christ. An unbeliever hasn’t yet been given a new heart that is being transformed by the Holy Spirit. Additionally, a new believer is still developing skills, like discernment and self-control. From a physical perspective, children’s brains and language skills are not fully developed. Childhood disobedience and your child’s lack of understanding should not be surprising in light of these standards. Disobedience, temper tantrums, forgetfulness, etc., do not necessarily constitute a mental health diagnosis. But, a mental health condition can be considered when your child’s issues can’t be explained by normal development, poor choices, or lack of spiritual engagement. 

For some parents, the potential of having a child with a mental health diagnosis may feel overwhelming or shameful. However, viewing mental health from a theological perspective can help parents understand the reality of living in a world broken by sin. Mental health issues are complex and are often no one’s fault (John 9). There are often no easy answers because of the complexity of mental health issues. Instead, we can trust that God is sovereign over your children’s struggles and that he will be glorified as you walk down an often complicated road. Such a road requires wisdom from the Lord, patience, and plenty of resources to be able to discern a child’s need. 

How to help

If your child is struggling, I want to give you some resources. You can help your child by equipping yourself with tools like knowing warning signs, the right questions to ask, and where to seek help. 

1. Warning signs

  • Insufficient or delayed development
  • Significant change in appetite or weight
  • Extreme irritability, outbursts, or meltdowns
  • Inattentiveness or hyperactivity
  • Loss of interest in activities or friends
  • Poor academic performance
  • Sudden changes in sleep habits
  • Persistent sadness or frequent crying
  • Reckless or harmful behaviors
  • Excessive fears or worries
  • Behavioral problems across settings
  • Persistent nightmares
  • Withdrawn from family and friends
  • Enuresis or encopresis
  • School refusal
  • Developmentally inappropriate sexualized behaviors or advanced sexual knowledge

If you find your child exhibits some of these signs, it may be time to consult with your child’s pediatrician or a mental health professional. If you are not sure, try gathering information from other key adults who are involved in your child’s life. For example, you may want to ask your child’s teacher, “Compared to other same-age and same-gender peers, is my child more or less attentive at school?”

2. Questions to ask

When considering your child’s behaviors and struggles, here are some key questions to help gauge the severity of the issues.

  • How long has the behavior occurred?
  • Is it a significant change from your child’s formal disposition?
  • Does the behavior occur across settings?
  • Does it affect your child’s functioning?
  • How often is the behavior occurring?
  • What are the current stressors in your child’s life?
  • Does the behavior occur in relation to a stressor or stimuli?
  • Any known history of trauma?
  • Why are you seeking help for the problem now?

Negative behaviors that are persistent, occur across settings, affect a child’s functioning, and are not related to a specific stimuli or current stressor are more likely to indicate the presence of a mental health issue. If there are current stressors in your child’s life that seem to exacerbate their functioning, talk with your child, try to alleviate unnecessary stressors (i.e., making all A’s in school), and develop tools to help your child cope. Take your child through Scripture, helping them grasp God’s love for them and his sovereignty, even in the midst of difficult circumstances. And pray for them and with them.

3. Build community

One risk factor for developing or maintaining a mental health condition is a lack of social support. To state it another way: having social support is a resiliency factor for a good prognosis. Scripture and clinical research both show that community with others is vital. As a parent, seek to provide ample opportunities for your child to make and keep friendships. Sports, school, extracurricular activities, youth groups, church, and neighborhoods are all potential avenues for social involvement. Additionally, seek out other Christian families to regularly interact with. Children and other believing adults can be invaluable support for your child.

4. Quality and quantity time with your child

God has placed a wonderful and enormous task on parents. He has called us to steward the children he has given us. Part of stewardship is being present in the lives of those children. Research has repeatedly shown that a lack of parents’ physical or emotional presence has devastating effects on children. Parents, don’t underestimate the influence you have on your child. Spend time with your child. Listen to your child. Be present.

5. Resources to read

I encourage parents to read about parenting, mental health issues, and normal childhood development. It’s hard to understand abnormal behavior if you don’t have a good grasp of normal behavior. Here are some resources for recommended reading:

  • “How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk” by Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish
  • “Full Circle Parenting” by Jimmy and Kristin Scroggins
  • “Parenting: 14 Gospel Principles That Can Radically Change Your Family” by Paul David Tripp
  • “Yardsticks: Child and Adolescent Development Ages 4-14” by Chip Wood
  • “Wild Things: The Art of Nurturing Boys” by Stephen James

6. Referrals

One of the best places to start when seeking counseling or treatment for your child is your child’s pediatrician. Neurological and medical issues can sometimes mimic mental health issues, so it is important to rule out medical issues first. To find counselors, evaluators, or therapists, you may want to check with your insurance plan and your pediatrician.

Saying, “I need help for my child,” may feel humbling. But remember, as God works in the life of your child, he is also working on you. May you lean into him and steward well the child he has entrusted to you.

A version of this article first appeared at Church Answers Blog.

Russell Moore on “The Courage To Stand,” and looking for truth in post-election America
By / Nov 17

Jeff Pickering and Chelsea Patterson Sobolik welcome back ERLC president, Russell Moore, to the podcast to talk about his new book, The Courage To Stand, and what we can learn about truth and tribalism from the 2020 presidential election. The message of Dr. Moore’s newest book is timely for this fearful and anxious year as he helps readers see where Christ-empowered courage comes from, from the way of the cross.

This episode is sponsored by The Good Book Company, publisher of the advent family devotional, A Better Than Anything Christmas. Find out more about this book at thegoodbook.com.

Resources from the Conversation

7 ways to implement a mental health ministry plan in your church
By / Oct 9

National Mental Illness Awareness Week is traditionally held in early October to draw attention to the struggles of the 20% of adults and children who experience a mental health disorder in any given year. I have been tremendously encouraged by the proliferation of churches implementing influential and creative ministry strategies to share Christ’s love with individuals and families affected by the full range of mental health conditions since last year's awareness week.  

Several influences are serving as catalysts to the new interest in mental health ministry. Research published by LifeWay over the past five years has pointed out the need for more effective ministry for families impacted by severe mental illness along with the need to reexamine church processes when members approach pastors and church staff because they are or a loved one is contemplating suicide. Several ministries with a national scope have emerged to resource churches with an interest in mental health. Finally, denominations and organizations such as the ERLC have done a wonderful job of increasing awareness of mental health concerns.  

Our Key Ministry team has connected with many churches seeking to implement a mental health ministry plan. Here are seven ideas we've seen implemented that churches might consider in the coming year.  

1. Preaching on mental health-related topics. According to the LifeWay study, the most common response from family members when asked how churches might better assist them in caring for loved ones with mental illness was to talk more openly about mental illness so that that the topic is not taboo. Pastors seeking an example of a sermon series on mental health might check out the messages Rick Warren shared at Saddleback Church in the aftermath of  suicide.

One senior pastor followed a weekend mental health training for staff and volunteers by opening Sunday morning worship with a prayer for everyone present suffering from depression. Our team has participated in Mental Health Sundays hosted by local churches to launch or increase awareness of their ministries. One of the most powerful experiences I witnessed during a Mental Health Sunday was a "conversation" hosted by the pastor between services in which several highly respected church members shared their personal experiences with mental illness.  

2. Offering biblically-sound mental health education and support groups for education, encouragement, and support. The Grace Alliance was launched nearly 10 years ago by a Baylor University neuropsychology professor and a Baptist pastor caring for his wife as she received treatment for bipolar disorder. They provide a model for Grace Groups for individuals, families, and college students hosted by churches in every region of the country. Fresh Hope is another national ministry organization offering Christ-centered peer support groups in over 25 states and six countries.

3. Helping members and attendees access mental health services, including high quality counseling. The LifeWay mental illness study revealed a huge disconnect between perceptions of pastors and family members regarding availability of mental health referral lists to members in need—68% of pastors (but only 28% of family members of someone with acute mental illness) reported their church maintains such a list. 

A large church in our home region supported the creation of Fieldstone Counseling, a network of counseling centers supporting the needs of local church members. Counseling centers develop partnerships with churches in the communities they serve. Khesed Wellness is a nonprofit organization in Colorado that places licensed mental health professionals who agree to see clients for a discounted fee in office space donated by local churches.  

4. Educating church staff and volunteers. More and more pastors and staff members are attending trainings focused on helping families of children with common mental health or developmental disabilities overcome the challenges they experience in attending church. We're seeing increases in the number of churches training staff in mental health first aidand trauma-informed care. Seminarieshave begun to schedule mental health training events for pastors, alumni, and students.

5. Opening a mental health resource center. Crossroads Church in central Ohio opened a mental health resource boothin a prominent location with free resources from NAMI, other educational resources and brochures from counseling centers personally vetted by members of the mental health ministry team. A team member staffs the booth at all worship services to make personal connections. Jeremy Smith is a counselor who serves on their mental health team and authors the Church and Mental Health blog. He developed a series of mental health awareness cardsdistributed through the resource booth available for use by other churches. 

6. Establishing a suicide protection policy. Awareness of a need for churches to develop and implement suicide protection policies has intensified as a result of the steep increases in suicide rates reported among teenagers and adults in the U.S.; the observation that many Americans approach pastors as first responders during a mental health crisis; and the extensive publicity around the suicide of Jarrid Wilson, a young pastor, author, and mental health advocate. Here's one example of such a policy, available for churches to adapt to their local situations.

7. Providing tangible help to affected individuals and families. One simple, yet powerful way to express care for families in the midst of a mental health crisis is to provide casseroles and other prepared meals if the church does so for families experiencing other medical crises.   

The vast preponderance of families caring for children and teens with serious emotional disturbances have little or no access to respite care. Churches offering respite events for children with special needs can welcome families of children with severe mental illness by eliminating requirements for parents to identify their child's disability at registration.   

This list is not exhaustive, but it’s a start. Is your church doing something that's working well in ministry with families impacted by mental illness that you didn't see here? Our ministry team would love to hear from you and explore how we might help you share your church's strategy with a larger audience.  

What does the Bible say about mental illness?
By / Aug 8

The conversation about mental illness is becoming more prevalent in our society—and that’s a good thing. The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) reports that “approximately 1 in 5 adults in the U.S. (46.6 million) experiences mental illness in a given year.” Mental illness, while not easily defined, can range from a plethora of different hindrances and disorders that make normal, everyday life a challenge or borderline impossible for the individual. For the context of this piece, the disorders I will reference are those more common in our larger discussions as a society such as depression and anxiety.

What does the Bible say about mental illness?

The conversation on mental illness and its validity have been controversial at times, especially among those within the faith. It is important to note that the Bible never explicitly speaks about mental illness in terms of how we would define it in modern times. Even so, more churches are experiencing the effects of mental illness within their congregations. Treatment and care have been topics that many have debated, and while these questions are not easily answered, the Bible provides insight on how we should view and respond to those who are battling with their own minds.

Mental illness can be a physical issue

We know that one of the consequences of the fall is the corruption of God’s good and perfect creation of our bodies (2 Cor. 4:16; 1 Cor. 15:42; Psa. 73:26; Isa. 40:30). Our earthly lives are limited, and eventually, our bodies will fail us. This also applies to our minds. Throughout Scripture, we see biblical figures such as David (Psa. 38:4), Job (Job 3:26), Elijah (1 Kings 19:4), and Jonah (Jonah 4:3) dealing with deep feelings of despair, anger, depression, and loneliness. While some of these things can be attributed to spiritual warfare, it can be of a physical nature. Since we know that our bodies are prone to go awry at times, it’s possible that what we are experiencing is related to chemical imbalances or other things happening within our brains.

If this is the case, Jesus gives an example of how we should care for one’s physical needs in the parable of the Good Samaritan. When the Samaritan comes across the badly injured man on the side of the road, he takes him to be bandaged and cared for until he recovers (Luke 10:34). Other places throughout Scripture show God’s people using elements from the earth such as leaves and figs to assist in the healing process from physical ailments (Ezk. 47:12; 1 Tim. 5:23; Isa. 38:21).  Taking medication in the midst of mental illness doesn’t show a lack of faith in the ability of the Lord to sustain us through the suffering. Rather, it may allow some to experience God with more clarity.

Mental illness can be a spiritual issue

Perhaps, in some cases, our depression, anxiety, or any other thing that we would consider to be mental illness may have a connection to our disobedience and sin toward God. While we know that those who have placed their trust in Christ have freedom from condemnation for their sins (Rom. 8:1), we may experience its earthly consequences. When we are confronted with the brokenness of ourselves and our sin, the conviction may be overwhelming and give us feelings of grief and despair. We see this take place when David is confronted with his affair with Bathsheba and the murder of her husband (Psa. 51; 1 Kings 12). We also see characters where their mental state is somehow connected to their spiritual state (Dan. 4:28-33; 1 Sam. 16:14) Lastly, there are numerous accounts where the spiritual and physical seem to be connected, such as the account of Legion in the New Testament (Mark 5:1-20; Luke 8:26-39). From these examples, the hope we have in the midst of mental suffering is that the Lord knows, hears, can heal, and is always ready to forgive our sins when we come to him (1 John 1:9).

God is close to those who are suffering

What is constant throughout Scripture is that God provides comfort to the suffering and meets the needs of the brokenhearted (Psa. 34:18, Psa. 145:18). His Word promises that those who are in the midst of suffering, whether experiencing death or depression, have the hope that everything is working together for the good of those who love him and are called according to his purpose (Rom. 8:28). It is outside of God’s character to senselessly torment those he loves (Lam. 3:31-33). We know that the trials that we are experiencing on this earth, while difficult and uncomfortable, are for the testing of our faith (James 1:2), to produce endurance and character (Rom. 5:3-5), and are never without purpose.

How do we respond?

Mental illness can affect any of us. Whether a pastor, Sunday school teacher, or faithful churchgoer, the suspected struggle of mental illness should not be a source of shame or be kept hidden. The Church should be a place of safety and community, where those who are struggling can be honest, ask people to rally around them in prayer, and be assisted in seeking professional help.

When we encounter people who suffer with mental illness, we should be hesitant to provide our opinion on what the source is or how it should be solved. This issue and human beings are complex. Heath Lambert said it best: “Caring for people means being alert to physical problems that require medical treatments and spiritual problems that require Christ and his Word.”

Most of us are not mental health experts, so we should stick to what we do know: God is good, loves us, and does not forsake his people. Pray with those who are struggling within your church. Treat them as fellow image-bearers. Encourage them to seek professional and medical help, if need be. Be available. Walk with them, shouldering one another’s burdens in order to fulfill the law of Christ (Gal. 6:2). Only then will we love as Christ loved and care well for those who are hurting.

What Jesus means by, “Do not be anxious.”
By / May 13

Anxiety is a real problem in our society. Working in ministry, I regularly talk to Christians who are struggling with anxiety, and I also spend a lot of time working with leaders trying to help others deal with anxiety in a biblical and healthy way. It seems the problem is ubiquitous. From college campuses and local churches, to marriages and friendships, to coffee shops and businesses, anxiety is everywhere.

In Matthew 6, Jesus tells us not to be anxious about our lives (6:25). Describing those words as challenging is a significant understatement. Jesus delivers them in part of his famous Sermon on the Mount. In many ways, his sermon is designed to help us look forward, to help us see what life will be like in the Kingdom of God. There will be a time when our lives and our world are no longer marked by anxiety, as well as anger, unruly sexual desires, deceit, poverty, and other signs of brokenness. Jesus confronts us with those things here. But we would miss much of what Jesus is saying if we simply assume that the things he sets forth in his sermon merely apply to the future.

So how what does he even mean by, “Do not be anxious”?

What Jesus didn’t say

As a general rule, it isn’t a good idea to try to make sense of a passage by starting with what it doesn’t mean. But I do think it is important to say that Jesus is not telling us to forget about anxiety, as if it isn’t really a problem. Jesus is also not saying that the things that cause us anxiety don’t matter.

For some people, anxiety, and many of the things often associated with it, can be so debilitating that it requires professional counseling or medical intervention. I am sure that Jesus would do nothing to discourage those people from availing themselves of such help. In the first century, and today, Jesus knew his words were for broken people. He also knew that because of the curse, even our best, Spirit-empowered efforts cannot fully liberate us from sin’s reach. This means that sometimes our besetting sins and struggles will remain with us throughout our lives. Each of us needs help to battle against the effects of sin, and if anything, this should encourage Christians to seek out the appropriate care for anxiety and other issues.

What Jesus did say

Jesus was a master teacher, and the amazing thing about these words is that they apply to all of us in the same way. The reason why Jesus tells us not to be anxious is because the Father cares for us. Notice that Jesus tells us not to worry things that are actually really important—our food and drink and clothing. All of us would be tempted to panic if we didn’t know where our next few meals were coming from, or if we woke up without clothes to wear. Jesus isn’t saying these things don’t matter. Instead, he’s saying that God loves us and cares about those things, so we don’t need to worry. Most of us would do well to think more about how the Father loves us.

All of that is easier said than done, though. So, Jesus presses the point further. He shows us the futility of our anxiety by drawing our attention to something we cannot change. He asks, “And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?” (6:27). Obviously, the answer is none of us. But we shouldn’t miss Jesus’ point. Jesus’ point is that, although we can’t control the number of days we will have in this life, God can. And that is what he wants us to see: God can do what is impossible for us.

What Jesus says to us

Here, Jesus gives us a spiritual answer to a very practical question. We are anxious because we have real needs and concerns. Jesus tells us not to be anxious because God knows what we need. Despite how hard it is to do, we are supposed to have faith. On the surface, this can look like a cop-out, but this is what faith is all about: learning to trust God when we would rather trust ourselves.

But Jesus doesn’t stop there. Instead, he says, “seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you” (6:33). In my darkest moments, when life has pressed in with the most difficult of circumstances, these words have been far from memory. My inclination in the midst of a trial is not to seek first the kingdom, but to shelter in place, try to solve my own problems, or just pretend it isn’t happening. I think that is exactly what Jesus is speaking to.

None of us will live a life that is free from sin. Most of us will struggle with some measure of anxiety throughout our lives. But in the midst of our brokenness, Jesus is calling us to fix our gaze on the Father and his Kingdom that is to come. He wants us to be free from anxiety because of our confidence in our Creator. God loves us deeply and has the power to answer our prayers and provide for our needs. And when anxiety is bearing down, God wants us to reach for him.

I think the striving is more important than success. Do not be anxious about your life might seem like an impossible burden, but what I think Jesus would say is: Let your desperation become your prayer. Because God knows, God sees, and he cares.