Ten good news stories from 2022 you might have missed
By / Dec 16

While 2022 had its share of controversies, division, and tragedies, there were also a number of positive developments that have occurred. As we close out this year and usher in a new one, here are 10 stories to encourage you:

NAMB’s Annie Armstrong Offering hits all-time high

“Southern Baptists gave a record $68.9 million to the Annie Armstrong Easter Offering (AAEO) in 2022, breaking the giving record for a second year in a row. Giving to the offering has exceeded records in five of the last six years.”

Pastor in Michigan builds laundromat to help families experiencing “hygiene poverty”

“There’s no laundromat in a four-mile radius,” Robinson said, standing in the church’s basement and soon-to-be affordable laundromat, Good Laundry. “Over 75 percent of our people in this area depend on public transportation, so you can only imagine taking all of your clothes, getting on the MTA to go to the laundromat to sit for three or four hours to do your laundry, and then come back on that bus route. That’s taking up most of your day.”

New malaria vaccines prevent infection and transmission

“After nearly four decades of development, the world finally has a malaria vaccine. The first large-scale rollout of GlaxoSmithKline’s RTS,S, or Mosquirix, kicked off at the end of November.”

Testing has started on an HIV vaccine 

Human clinical trials have started for an experimental HIV vaccine that uses the same kind of mRNA technology found in Moderna’s successful COVID-19 vaccine. An HIV vaccine would be globally beneficial in containing the spread of HIV, especially on the continent of Africa. Across the globe, an estimated 38.4 million have the virus and 1.5 million people acquire it each year. In 2021, an estimated 650,000 [510,000–860,000] people died from HIV-related causes

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline launches new 3-digit number: 988

“One of the goals of 988 is to ensure that people get the help that they need when they need it, where they need it. And so, when a person calls 988, they can expect to have a conversation with a trained, compassionate crisis counselor who will talk with them about what they’re experiencing. If it’s the case that they need further intervention, then likely the crisis counselor will connect with a local mobile crisis team,” Dr. Miriam Delphin-Rittmon, the administrator of SAMHSA, said earlier this month during a call with reporters.”

See also: 5 facts about suicide in America

Bioengineered cornea restores sight to the blind and visually impaired

“Researchers and entrepreneurs have developed an implant made of collagen protein from pig’s skin, which resembles the human cornea. In a pilot study, the implant restored vision to 20 people with diseased corneas, most of whom were blind prior to receiving the implant.”

NASA smashes a spacecraft into an asteroid to practice saving Earth

“At its core, DART represents an unprecedented success for planetary defense, but it is also a mission of unity with a real benefit for all humanity,” said NASA Administrator Bill Nelson. “As NASA studies the cosmos and our home planet, we’re also working to protect that home, and this international collaboration turned science fiction into science fact, demonstrating one way to protect Earth.”

Supreme Court rules Maine can’t discriminate against religious schools, strengthening religious liberty

“Maine’s attempt to sidestep the Constitution was halted in its tracks today, and rightly so,” said Brent Leatherwood, president of the ERLC. “The justices decision here accurately comports with the fundamental nature of religious liberty in our nation.”

Scientists are using fitness trackers and AI to detect depression with ‘80% accuracy’

“Scientists are harnessing the power of artificial intelligence (AI) for the early detection of mental health disorders such as depression and schizophrenia. Unlike, for example, kidney disease, which is relatively easy to diagnose, conditions like anxiety or depression have no specific biomarkers that can be picked up with a simple test. Patients with the same mental disorder can present many different symptoms, which can make it challenging for physicians to diagnose them early and accurately.”

ERLC’s Psalm 139 Project dedicates ultrasound machine to Pregnancy Center in Florida

In 2022, the Psalm 139 Project, a pro-life ministry of ERLC, has donated an ultrasound machines to pregnancy care centers in Alabama, Florida, Kansas, North Carolina, Tennessee, and Texas. 

See also: A brief history of pregnancy resource centers

How parents can talk with their teenagers about anxiety
By / Nov 9

Anxiety is widespread among teenagers. If you lined up 100 teenagers between the ages of 13 to 18, you could expect approximately every third teenager (31%) to experience an anxiety disorder at some point in their teen years. And almost every 10th teenager (8.5%) would experience anxiety that causes severe impairment.[i] As the parent of an anxious teen, you may feel a sense of fear, uncertainty, or powerlessness. How can you help? What if you can’t help? How severe is your child’s anxiety? At what point should you consider counseling? 

Perhaps you even feel a sense of frustration. Wouldn’t your child feel less anxious if he would listen to you and and stay off his phone? Or maybe you have stepped into “fix-it mode,” searching for causes and next steps to take. You want your child to find relief, so your natural tendency may be to brainstorm solutions and offer suggestions of what you think will help. While suggestions can be helpful, oftentimes the best place to start is by having an open and ongoing conversation with your teen about their experience. Here are some questions to help you begin.

Questions to get the conversation started

What is anxiety like for you? Many teenagers don’t realize when they are anxious. Their back tension, racing thoughts, counting rituals, insomnia, nervous energy, or other anxiety symptoms feel normal because these experiences are the only thing they know. Teenagers often need help verbalizing their anxiety symptoms so they can begin to recognize when they are anxious. Ask specific questions to help them gain awareness. What does anxiety feel like for them? What thoughts race through their minds? Where do they notice anxiety symptoms in their bodies? 

What seems to trigger your anxiety? Teenagers also often need help connecting their anxiety to specific situations in their life. Is the tension in their shoulders related to homework? Do the racing thoughts occur when they spend too much time on the phone? Does the anxiety tend to happen at a certain time of day, in a specific location, or around particular people? Ask questions to help your child begin to make these connections. 

When is the first time you remember feeling anxious? You can also investigate when the anxiety first started and what was happening in your child’s life at the time. The onset of anxiety can often be traced back to distressing events such as a parent’s divorce, an experience of bullying, or the death of a family member. The impact of events such as these can linger for many years. Sometimes, present symptoms of anxiety can be resolved when teenagers have the chance to process past distressing experiences.   

How do you think your habit of _______ impacts your anxiety? Many teenagers have bad habits that make their anxiety worse. Don’t we all? Parents often recognize that their teenagers would feel better if they would go to bed at a more reasonable time, stay more active, spend less time on the phone, or stop other stress-inducing habits. But how can you help teenagers make important changes if they bristle the moment these topics are mentioned? While you may need to enforce rules surrounding certain problem areas, it’s often best to start by helping teenagers assess their habits for themselves. 

Teenagers need to begin taking ownership of how some habits such as isolating, talking to certain friends, overusing social media, or binge-watching TV impact their anxiety. Help them investigate areas such as these by framing your concerns as questions, instead of statements or lectures. For example, how does it affect them when they spend the afternoon on TikTok? If they notice that it negatively affects their anxiety, what do they want to do about this?

Are there any calming activities you would like to use as an alternative to habits you realize may be problematic? Small changes such as getting outside for regular walks, taking five minutes a day to breathe deeply, or taking breaks from homework can make a difference. Talk about some possible changes, but don’t send them off to implement these practices alone. Go with them. Go on that walk together. Breathe deeply together. Stay off social media together. Go out of your way to communicate that you are on their side and in this struggle with them.  

How does your relationship with God help you when you feel anxious? And if it doesn’t seem to help, how are you making sense of that? The way we frame conversations about anxiety and faith with teenagers is important. Teenagers are often black-and-white thinkers. They sometimes misinterpret our encouragements to “bring their anxiety to God” as pressure to simply pray harder and read their Bibles more. They can then feel guilty, confused, or angry when they do these things and still feel anxious. 

Instead of asking a teenager “are you praying?” or “are you reading your Bible?”, we need to make the connection between anxiety and faith more compelling. More invitational. More honest about the mysterious ways God does and doesn’t work through Scripture and prayer. Less focused on hints of legalism and more focused on the relationship we can experience with the Lord. 

God does not stand over us and demand that we pray more and read our Bibles more when we are afraid. Rather, we get to go to him for help. We get to be completely honest with him about our experience. How can you help your teenager grasp this comfort? This is an opportunity to share your own experience of how you go to the Lord when you feel afraid.  

Do you want to try counseling? Some teenagers fight the idea of counseling. Other teenagers want counseling but hesitate to ask for it because they have real or imagined fears about how a parent may respond. It’s worth initiating the conversation to see if counseling has crossed their mind. If they do desire counseling, always honor this request. 

Is there anything that I am doing or anything that is happening in our home that makes you feel more anxious? This is a difficult question to ask, but I encourage you to go here. You may or may not agree with what your teenager says, but either way you will gain valuable information. It’s important to assess how the atmosphere of your whole household affects your teenager’s anxiety. Children are like sponges, absorbing their parent’s energy and emotions. This is especially true of young children, but we can’t ignore how teenagers also soak up the emotions of adults. When a parent feels anxious, angry, stressed, or worried, a teenager picks up these feelings. When a parent feels calm, a teenager absorbs this sense of peace. 

So when you notice anxiety in your teenager, it’s always an invitation to consider your own inner life. If you find anxiety, fear, worry, or stress within yourself, it’s likely affecting your teenager as well. 

However, before you discuss with your teenager the questions listed above, consider answering them for yourself. Do you know when you are stressed or anxious? Are you using the habits you encourage your teenager to use? Sometimes helping your anxious teenager begins with addressing your own inner struggle. 

Exploring your own anxiety should not lead to discouragement or self-criticism, though. We all feel anxious at times. Rather, beginning with yourself may be a needed invitation. God has given you an opportunity to slow down and nurture your own anxious heart. As you do so, you will become more equipped to understand and help the anxious teenager in your care. 

[i] https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/statistics/any-anxiety-disorder

The church and suicide
By / Sep 8

Earlier this summer, the new national 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline went live. The three-digit, memorable number was designed to efficiently connect people who are suicidal or in a mental health crisis to a trained mental health professional. With calls expected to increase as people learn about the helpline, some call centers say there are limits to what they can accomplish without more local resources. 

Suicide is not something we like to talk about. Yet, we must acknowledge that there are times when the circumstances of life threaten to overwhelm—a spouse leaves, a child passes away, a business folds, or a house burns down. We watch people we care about hurt, wander, and undergo immense difficulty. Sometimes their pain can turn into to feelings of hopelessness, depression, or even suicidal ideation.

As part of the family of God, we’re called to walk alongside struggling brothers or sisters to help shoulder the weight of a trial that threatens to pull them under (Phil. 2:3–4). The strength and encouragement of others is often the difference between finding healing or giving up. Galatians 6:2 calls us to bear one another’s burdens and to hurt alongside those who are hurting. Helping our friends, neighbors, and friends carry the weight of their troubles ought to be a priority of every Christian—and could be the answer to the lack of local resources in place to help those who are suffering.

We’re one body, called to help the hurting

When someone experiences tragedy, loss, or other overwhelming circumstances, feelings of hopelessness can arise, sometimes even leading to suicidal thoughts. While a crisis hotline, therapy, and medicine are extremely important, they’re not always sufficient. The best antidotes for hopelessness are a perspective rooted in faith and a community of support, both of which the church can offer to help those burdened by situational depression and suicidal ideation.

A person with suicidal thoughts may feel like there is nowhere left to go and no one who cares whether they live or die. For many people, the church is their last hope. Statistics reveal that 1 in 5 people suffer from some form of mental health issue, and those who love them are also affected by it. Many of these people are sitting in churches week after week, suffering in stigmatized silence. Pastors need to wake up and start talking about depression and hopelessness from the pulpit, helping people to develop an attitude of looking to Christ for help long before a person would reach a point of suicide.

While no one can assume full responsibility for someone else’s circumstances or emotional wellness, the church can, and should, help to remove the stigma of depression and other mental health issues by addressing them. Let‘s not pretend the church is immune to these issues. There should never be a time when someone is embarrassed or ashamed to seek help for the way they’re affected by sin and brokenness. 

Churches should prioritize caring for those with mental health struggles

Research shows that people who are deeply depressed or have thoughts of suicide feel relief when they have a community of people they can count on. A strategic way churches can facilitate these relationships is by establishing support groups that include people who have “been there” and can offer a listening ear, encouragement, and perspective. Programs like Fresh Hope for Mental Health equip churches to provide those who are hopeless a safe place to process their pain and experience faith-filled hope through support groups, classes, and other resources that are led and written by peers who are living well, despite their own mental health challenges.

Romans 15:13 says, “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” With Jesus Christ as our focus, the church can uniquely offer something to those who struggle with mental health and those who love them: hope through Jesus.

Large or small, every church should strive to become a nurturing and compassionate haven for people with mental health burdens and their families. People who are struggling with depression or thoughts of suicide are our brothers and sisters in Christ. It’s our duty as followers of Christ to create a safe and honest place for them and love them well. 

What to do when your spouse is suffering
By / Jul 11

Your wife feels lonely after two years of COVID-induced isolation. Your husband was recently laid off and feels rejected and insecure. Your wife struggles with depression and is having a particularly rough day. Your husband just lost his father, and his heart is bleeding. Your spouse is emotionally suffering. What do you do? 

In a broken world that only seems to be breaking more with each passing day, the question is important. How do you minister to a suffering spouse who is riddled with heartache, hopelessness, anxiety, angst, disappointment, doubt, or despair? A spouse who is overwhelmed, overworked, or overstressed? A spouse who is battling fear, guilt, shame, exhaustion, grief, or a plethora of other soul-testing emotions? 

What do you do when your spouse is suffering on the inside?

What not to do

First, let me share three things not to do:

1. Fix. Don’t put on your relational tool belt and offer quick fixes. It makes your spouse feel like a problem to be solved, not a person to be loved. It’s dehumanizing. It certainly doesn’t mirror the way that God treats us in our emotional distress. He rarely gives us quick fixes. He meets us in our pain, links arms with us, and walks with us through our suffering. Do the same for your spouse. 

2. Make it about you. It’s easy to make your spouse’s emotional pain about you. How does the pain make you feel? What impact is the pain having on your life? How did you possibly contribute to the pain? STOP. Stop making your spouse’s suffering about you. It’s impossible to love your spouse well when your eyes are fixated on yourself. Adjust your lenses, and focus on your spouse. Not on you. 

3. Make it not about you. It’s also easy to check out when your spouse is hurting inside. Why do we check out? We don’t know what to say. We don’t know what to do. We don’t know how to help. So we walk away. Don’t. Stay connected. You are one flesh with your spouse (Gen. 2:24). Just like shedding a hurting body part is not an option, abandoning your hurting spouse is not an option.

What you should do: BLESS  

So what should you do when your spouse is in emotional distress? Allow me to provide a step-by-step framework. I call it BLESS. It stands for Be, Listen, Empathize, Speak, Solve. Before I explain, I want to share three disclaimers:

First, this is a framework—a rule of thumb. It isn’t a one-size-fits-all formula. Every spouse is different. Every situation is different. People are complex. Life is complex. It won’t work for everybody—just most people in most situations.

Second, order is important. If you go out of order, you may frustrate your spouse at best or cause additional emotional damage at worst. 

Finally, you might only do the first one, two, three, or four steps. That’s okay. Not every situation calls for all five steps. Be prepared to stop at any point in the process.

Be: Sometimes all your spouse needs is your presence. Not your listening ear. Not your words. Not your actions. Your spouse only needs to know that you are there. You are not going anywhere. Your shoulder is there to cry on. Your hand is there to hold. You are there to hug and be hugged if necessary. You. Are. There. 

I suspect this might be tough—to simply be present without saying or doing anything. It is. It requires self-control. It requires patience. It requires you to relinquish control and know that God is God (Ps. 46:10); that his love and sovereignty are ruling and reigning over your spouse in that moment. It requires you to surrender your spouse into Christ’s hands, which are far more capable hands than yours.  

Listen: If your spouse speaks, close your mouth and listen (James 1:19). Concentrate on what is being said; not only the words but also the body language. Don’t think about what you are going to say. Don’t think about how your spouse should feel. Don’t think about how to make the pain go away. Don’t think about anything except what your spouse is saying. Just. Listen.

Empathize: If, and only if, you’ve thoroughly listened to your spouse, you may now open your mouth. What should you say? Precisely what your spouse said—in your own words. In other words, empathize with your spouse. Speak what you heard back in a way that makes your spouse say, “Yes, you get me.” If you aren’t sure what your spouse just said, ask questions to gain clarity. 

Why is empathy important? It makes your spouse feel known—the first half of the core human desire to be fully known and fully loved. It lets your spouse know that you are tracking, that you care, and that you are, once again, 100% present. It’s healing. It’s restorative. It says, “I know you, and you are worthy to be known.”

Speak: If, and only if, you’ve been present, listened, and empathized with your spouse, it may be time to speak words of life into your spouse’s heart (Prov. 18:21). You might share a passage of Scripture. You might offer a nugget of theological truth. You might give a word of encouragement. You might even (and tread lightly here) tell a joke! The point is that your words should be specifically calculated to build up your spouse (Eph. 4:29). They should infuse life. They should revive, refresh, and restore. They should heal your spouse’s heart.

Solve: If, and only if, you’ve been present, listened, empathized, and spoken life-giving words, it may be time to offer advice. Perhaps you suggest a list of action items that will assuage your spouse’s pain. Perhaps you point out ways that your spouse is unknowingly and unintentionally exacerbating the pain. Perhaps you offer a gentle admonishment if you see sin in your spouse’s life. Again, be careful. You don’t want to unintentionally wound your spouse with an ill-timed solution. One helpful tip is to ask if your spouse wants a solution. If the answer is yes, then proceed. If not, put your tool belt back in the closet. 

Conclusion

Be. Listen. Empathize. Speak. Solve. In that order. It’s hard. It’s unnatural. It takes discipline. You might not see immediate results. But that’s okay. It isn’t about results. It’s about love. It’s about incarnating the love of Christ and about being a blessing to your suffering spouse. 

Questions for reflection

  1. Why is it so hard to enter your spouse’s emotional pain without offering solutions? Why is it so hard for you to listen without speaking? What in your heart prevents you from following the sequential steps of BLESS?
  2. Have you ever been in a state of emotional turmoil, and somebody offered you a trite platitude or a quick fix? How did that make you feel? 
  3. Psalm 139 tells us that we are fully known and fully loved by God. He sees and understands us and still loves us. Why is this so healing? What can you do to make your suffering spouse feel this way?

10 things Christians should know about kids and anxiety
By / May 2

Much needed attention has been drawn to the spike in mental health concerns experienced by children and teens in recent years, especially in the aftermath of COVID-19. A review of 29 studies conducted during the pandemic reported a doubling of rates of child and adolescent anxiety and depression. Extensive media coverage was devoted to a recommendation from an independent task force composed of experts in primary care and prevention that all children ages 8 and up should be screened for anxiety disorders, and several large medical organizations have joined forces in declaring a National State of Emergency in children’s mental health.

In light of these recent events, what should pastors, church staff, parents, and grandparents know about the effects of anxiety on our children and youth? Here are 10 important pieces of information. 

1. Anxiety is a normal, and often healthy emotional state. It may even provide an impetus for us to draw closer to and become more grounded in our relationship with God. When we talk of kids with anxiety disorders, we’re describing situations when a child’s anxiety is so great that it begins to interfere with their attendance or performance in school, their ability to make or keep friends, their ability to engage in age-appropriate tasks of daily living, or their ability to take part in family activities and responsibilities in an age-appropriate way. 

2. Anxiety disorders are the most common mental health conditions affecting youth ages 12–17 in the U.S. They impact nearly one in ten children at any point in time and occur more than twice as often as depression among children ages 3-17.

3. Rates of anxiety disorders in children and teens were increasing rapidly prior to COVID-19. According to data obtained from the National Survey of Children’s Health, rates of anxiety in children ages 3-17 increased by 29% between 2016 and 2020. 

4. “Red flags” indicative of problematic anxiety are readily observable, even though children and teens are often good at hiding their anxiety from parents and other significant adults. Warning signs of significant anxiety may include:

  • Excessive absences from school or school refusal
  • Frequent physical complaints (headaches, stomach aches, muscle aches, diarrhea, dizziness, weakness, lightheadedness) not attributable to another medical condition
  • Sleep disturbances
  • Excessive need for reassurance
  • Panic, tantrums when separation from parents is necessary
  • Frequent questions beginning with “What if”
  • Avoidance of social situations
  • Excessive perfectionism
  • Many worries about events before they happen
  • Poor self-confidence

5. Kids may experience symptoms of one or more anxiety disorders, and the nature of their anxiety often changes over time. 

  • Generalized Anxiety Disorder is characterized by the presence of excessive worry on most days often accompanied by sleep problems, muscle aches, irritability, restlessness, fatigue, and poor concentration. 
  • Children and teens with Separation Anxiety Disorder typically experience excessive fear or distress when away from parents or loved ones. They may struggle to sleep in their own bed, leave for school, to be alone upstairs or in the basement, and harbor irrational fears about themselves or a loved one being kidnapped, getting into a serious accident, or developing a life-threatening illness.
  • Kids with specific phobias experience fear of certain objects or situations, often resulting in elaborate avoidance strategies. Fear of germs has been a common concern since the beginning of COVID-19. 
  • Social Anxiety Disorder is associated with significant fear of acting in a manner that will result in embarrassment or humiliation. Affected children may struggle to ask questions in class, order food in a restaurant, or experience great distress at the prospect of meeting new people.
  • Panic Disorder is associated with brief, recurrent, unanticipated episodes of intense fear, accompanied by a characteristic set of physical symptoms, a sense of impending doom, and the urge to flee or escape the place where they experience symptoms. Agoraphobia is a closely related condition in which intense symptoms of anxiety occur in situations experienced as unsafe with no easy way to escape without becoming the focus of undesired attention. 
  • Children and teens with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) experience recurrent, intrusive thoughts or compulsive, recurrent, repetitive behaviors associated with significant mental distress. They may struggle with excessive perfectionism, making and sticking to decisions, or time-consuming rituals for counting, checking, arranging, or ordering items, grooming, or washing. 

6. Effective treatments are available for children and teens with anxiety disorders. A large, well-designed, government-funded research study reported response rates of 55% to treatment with medication alone, 60% to a specific type of counseling (cognitive-behavioral therapy) alone, and 81% to a combination of the two.

7. Fewer than 60% of kids with anxiety disorders receive any form of effective treatment, despite the availability of therapy and medication. 

8. The presence in a family of a child with an anxiety disorder significantly decreases the likelihood of the family attending church. A study examining data from over 250,000 parent interviews obtained as part of the National Children’s Health Survey noted that having a child with anxiety decreases by 45% the likelihood of the family having set foot in a church in the past year. Note: Church attendance decreases by 73% when a child has depression and 19% when a child has ADHD.

9. Common challenges kids with anxiety disorders experience at church include:

  • Separating from parents before and during worship services.
  • Taking part in church events and activities that depart from the weekly routine such as Vacation Bible School or take place in unfamiliar places, like retreats or mission trips.
  • Expectations for self-disclosure in small groups.
  • Group activities in which they’re at risk of becoming a center of attention by being called on to read or answer questions. 
  • Large group social situations, such as the informal times before youth group or worship services.
  • Transitions between age-group ministries (elementary to middle school, middle school to high school ministry) when they encounter many unfamiliar kids who are older and have established friendships.

10. Kids with anxiety disorders from families who are regularly attending church may experience unique challenges as they grow in their faith. Kids with symptoms of OCD often wrestle with fears their salvation may not be genuine. Others suffer from the belief that the persistence of their anxiety symptoms is indicative of a lack of faith or question God’s presence when prayers for relief from their anxiety seemingly go unanswered. They very much need parents and other adults (children’s and youth ministry leaders, counselors, Sunday School teachers, or AWANA leaders) able to provide wisdom and comfort grounded in Scripture and personal experience.

Pastors, ministry leaders, and families can do much to help. Kids learn how to manage their own worries by observing the ways in which adults in their lives respond when dealing with their own anxieties. Adults who are struggling with anxiety will serve themselves and the children in their lives when they seek help by modeling healthy and appropriate responses to anxiety. 

In addition, parents of kids with significant anxiety disorders should be encouraged to seek the assistance of qualified professionals, and pastors and other ministry leaders should be prepared to help families find the appropriate help. Pastors and church leaders can also seek out the necessary resources to develop a strategy for outreach and inclusion with families of children with anxiety disorders and other mental health disorders who have been unable to attend church because of their child’s condition.  

God invites us to come to him with our anxieties, casting them on his able shoulders because he cares for us (1 Pet. 5:17). And as the Church, we must be a refuge for those weighed down with cares, leading adults and children alike to find peaceful pasture under the faithful watch of our Good Shepherd (Ps. 23). The circumstances in our our chaotic world will continually tempt Christians to be consumed with worry, but as we seek to help and equip those who are struggling the most among us, we can remind them of the true and active words that Jesus speaks to our souls: “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world” (John 16:33).

5 facts about suicide in the U.S.
By / Apr 22

A new poll finds that nearly 7 in 10 (68%) adults feel they are knowledgeable about suicide prevention. Younger adults (85%), parents (79%), Black adults (76%), and Hispanic adults (76%) are all significantly more likely than the mean to indicate they are knowledgeable about suicide prevention. In contrast, Baby Boomers (55%), non-parents (62%), suburban (65%), and rural adults (63%) are all less knowledgeable than the average. 

Only a third of adults report seeing, reading, or hearing about being able to dial the number to reach a trained counselor with the National Suicide Prevention Line. The Federal Communications Commission voted last November to require phone companies to route text messages sent to “988” to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, a national network of local crisis centers that provides free and confidential emotional support to people in suicidal crisis or emotional distress in the United States. 

The change is meant to help 988 become the three-digit number to use for mental health crises, much like 911 is the number for emergencies, reports Axios. While some areas may be currently able to connect to the Lifeline by dialing 988, this dialing code will be available to everyone across the United States starting on July 16, 2022.

Every day an average of 130 people in America die by suicide. Here are five facts you should know about suicide in the United States:

1. There were 47,511 suicides in 2019, the last year for which data is available. On average, one person commits suicide every 11 minutes.  An average of one elderly person every hour and 41.4 minutes and an average of one young person every two hours and 2.1 minutes killed themselves.

2. Suicide was the overall 10th leading cause of death in the U.S. in 2019. Suicide was the second leading cause of death among individuals between the ages of 10 and 34, and the fourth leading cause of death among individuals between the ages of 35 and 44. (Suicide is not among the 10 leading causes of death among children in the 0-9 year age group nor in adults in the age group 65 years and older.)

3. Many adults think about or attempt suicide. The good news, according to the Centers for Disease Control, is that more than 90% of people who attempt suicide and survive never go on to die by suicide. In 2019, 12.2 million thought about suicide, 3.2 million made a plan for suicide, and 1.2 million attempted to take their own life. 

3. Men are more likely to die by suicide than women, but women are more likely to attempt suicide. There are on average 3.7 male deaths by suicide for each female death by suicide. But there are three female suicide attempts for each male attempt.

4. Men are more likely to use deadlier methods, such as firearms or suffocation (firearms are involved in 51% of suicides, while suffocation accounts for 23%). Women are more likely than men to attempt suicide by poisoning (18% of all suicides are by poisoning). 

5. Among ethnicities, American Indians and Alaska Natives tend to have the highest rate of suicides, followed by non-Hispanic Whites. Hispanics tend to have the lowest rate of suicides, while African Americans tend to have the second lowest rate.

If you know someone who is considering suicide, do not leave him or her alone. Try to get your loved one to seek immediate help from his or her doctor or the nearest hospital emergency room. Remove any access they may have to firearms or other potential tools for suicide, including medications. Call 911 or the toll-free National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

How the social internet is making our teenagers anxious
By / Mar 9

Do you remember what it felt like to walk the hallways of high school between classes or sit at the lunch table? Hallways and lunch rooms were the primary stages for social engagement in high school in years past. Sure, you talked with your peers in class, but most of the time you were paying attention to lectures or doing work. It was that time in between classes or while eating lunch that the social dynamics were most active.

Everyone, even the kids who say they aren’t, is performing in some way. High school hallways and lunch rooms are like little stages on which teenagers craft their personas and identities among their peers. It’s exciting and stressful, just like performing on any stage. In the 20th century, teenagers left the social stages when they went home. Unless they had plans to attend a social function in the evening or hit up the mall, the social dynamics of high school were left for phone calls with trusted friends until the next school day.

Today, as Derek Thompson says in his book Hit Makers, teenagers are always in the high school hallways. There is no escaping the social stages on which teenagers perform, because instead of walking the runway of the high school hallways for a couple hours a day, five days a week, teenagers have their personal stages in their pockets, calling them to perform every hour of every day with no opportunity to retreat to a social backstage for rest from their ever-present performance.

If you remember the social stressors of the high school hallways and lunch rooms, you can empathize with the feelings today’s teens have as they carry those performance arenas around in their pockets all the time. Is there any wonder, then, why teenagers are more anxious and depressed than before? 

The relationship between social media and depression

Mountains of data have been collected in the last few years that point to a clear relationship between increased social media use and increased experiences of anxiety and depression. Perhaps the most dramatic example of the correlation between social media use and symptoms of anxiety and depression come from the current teenagers that make up Gen Z or “iGen,” as they have been called by researcher and author Jean Twenge. Authors Jonathan Haidt and Greg Lukianoff cite one particularly troubling study in their book The Coddling of the American Mind. Research shows that, in the early 2000s, just more than one-in-ten girls aged 12-17 had a “major depressive episode” in the previous year. But, by 2016, nearly one-in-five girls aged 12-17 had a major depressive episode in the previous year. The rate of major depressive episodes among adolescent girls nearly doubled in less than a decade. Haidt and Lukianoff note that adolescent boys also experienced an increase in depressive episodes, but not as dramatic as that of girls.

Girls are more likely to become anxious or depressed because of increased social media use than boys because the root of anxiety and depression in girls tends to lie more in social dynamics than it does for boys. Whereas boys often deal with social conflict through direct, physical confrontation, girls are more likely to deal with social conflict in ways exacerbated by social media, which is one explanation for their increased anxiety and depression.

“Being a viewer in your own life”

Bo Burnham is a comedian, actor, and director. His career began when he started posting off-color comedic songs to a YouTube channel when he was in high school and YouTube was a relatively new platform. Burnham and I are roughly the same age, and I remember watching his videos in high school ashamed at how hard I was laughing because of how inappropriate they were (and are). Burnham’s 2021 Netflix special Inside is a comedy and a tragedy all wrapped into one hour-long program, and I could write pages about it here, as it is full of masterful commentary on the absurdity of the social internet. But instead, I want to call attention to a quote he gave when he was interviewed following the release of a movie he wrote and directed, Eighth Grade. 

The movie, which accurately depicts the most awkward aspects of the modern eighth grade experience, naturally features social media heavily. The film’s main character is an aspiring YouTuber, much like Burnham was when he was in high school. Burnham says regarding the social pressures young people face today that no one has ever had to face before:

What is the feeling of walking through your life and not just living your life, not just living your life—which is already [hard] and impossible—but also taking inventory of your life, being a viewer of your own life, living an experience and at the same time hovering behind yourself and watching yourself live that experience? Being nostalgic for moments that haven’t happened yet. Planning your future to look back on it.

Those are really weird, dissociative things that are, I think, new because of the specific structure of social media and how it dissociates ourselves from ourselves.

We find ourselves in a spot in which we feel we have to live our lives and create a documentary of our lives at the same time. We, as Burnham says, hover behind ourselves and watch ourselves live our lives while living our lives. Is it any wonder mental health crises are on the rise?

Another unfortunate reality is that this is not limited to teenagers. Data shows that social media use is adversely affecting the mental health of adults just as it is with teens. Sure, it’s safe to say that adults may feel less peer pressure to be as active on social media as teens are, but we’re all performing in the same way. With constant performance comes constant pressure. With constant pressure comes the gnawing anxiety that you’re going to fail in the spotlight at some point. How long can you really perform before you need to take a break? What if you feel like you can never take a break and log off?

Navigating the current technology and social media landscape as a parent, let alone as a Christian parent, is daunting. On one hand, outright banning all social media activity can unintentionally ostracize your child from his or her peers. On the other hand, there is plenty of evidence to show that social media can easily hurt young people. In the face of the fear and difficulty that comes with parenting amid such tension, we parents must run to the Scriptures and cling to our God, who says in Isaiah 41:10, “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” God is with us as we love our children and do all we can to lead them in the ways they should go. We must lean on him for our strength and our hope.

This article has been adapted from “Terms of Service” from B&H Publishing (2022). 

How the overwhelmed mom can start to reduce stress
By / Nov 22

Due to the pandemic, more emphasis has been placed on mental health. Stress, anxiety, and depression are at the forefront of discussions. However, mothers have suffered from stress long before COVID-19 hit. Careers, parental responsibilities, household chores, and guilt — especially during the holidays — can leave moms feeling burned out. Outside factors (i.e., societal upheaval, finances, etc.) only add to stressful feelings.

As a mom, stress can negatively influence the parent-child relationship. Chronically stressed mothers are more likely to be emotionally unavailable for their children and have a higher risk of developing mental health issues. Dealing with chronic stress can free moms to better handle the big emotions of their children and the day-to-day struggles of life.

Signs of stress

Though we hear a lot about stress, many of us don’t talk about it or understand its effects. What is stress? Stress can be defined as our body’s response to pressure that causes feelings of physical or emotional tension. When we initially encounter a danger or threat, our bodies react with a flight-or-fight response, known as acute stress, causing our nervous system to pump adrenaline into our bodies. If the threat or stress doesn’t subside, our body releases stress hormones. The result of these physiological responses includes: a faster pulse, an increase in blood pressure, changes in airways, extra oxygen to the brain, heightened senses, and changes in blood vessels. These responses are beneficial during times of danger.1Bruce S. McEwen (2007) Physiology and Neurobiology of Stress and Adaptation: Central Role of the Brain. Physiological Reviews, 87 (3), 873-904.

After the stressful event ends, the parasympathetic nervous system will then “reset” the body, stopping the rush of hormones. Problems with stress typically arrive when stress doesn’t cease and our bodies continue to pump stress hormones into our bodies. Acute stress becomes chronic stress.2Sharma DK (2018) Physiology of Stress and its Management. Journal of Medicine Study and Research, 1 (1).

How do you know if you are experiencing chronic stress? Chances are you “feel” stressed, but here are some warning signs:

  • Physical: Chest pain, headaches, GI issues, fatigue, high blood pressure, heart issues, weakened immune system
  • Behavioral: Sleep disturbances, irrational fears, anxiety attacks
  • Cognitive: Rumination, difficulty concentrating
  • Emotional: Irritability, crying, angry, bitterness, mood disorders
  • Relational: Blame shifting, short-fused
  • Spiritual: Disconnected, unrepentant sin, anger toward God, complacency

9 stress-reduction tips

If you can identify with the warning signs, you may be living in a state of chronic stress. So, what can you do about it? You can start by acknowledging two facts: 

  • All stress won’t fully cease to exist on this side of eternity. Stress is a natural consequence of the fall (Genesis 3). Original sin brought the commencement of brokenness into the world, and brokenness causes stress. 
  • God designed us with limitations, and those limitations are for our good. Operating within God’s boundaries can help reduce stress.

With those two things in mind, I want to share a few tips to improve stress levels and live within God’s limitations. It may not be possible to accomplish every suggestion all at once, so start small. Pick one or two stress-reducing items, and do those consistently. You can build upon your progress over time by adding other stress relievers. 

Life-enhancing tasks: God has given us a brain to acquire knowledge. Learning a new skill helps stockpile cognitive reserves. Improvement in cognitive functioning provides a greater ability to deal with stress. For overwhelmed mothers with little free time, try to eliminate a life-draining item first (i.e., social media), and replace it with a life-enhancing task (i.e., educational audiobook).

Thinking patterns: A mother’s perception of her parental role and responsibilities plays a key factor in stress levels. Do you view motherhood as a God-given role or a burden? Believing motherhood is unimportant creates feelings of being trapped, which is stressful. Any thought regarding motherhood as insignificant needs to be taken captive, as it goes against God’s Word (1 Cor. 10:5) and harms the parent-child relationship. Thought logs and journals can help uncover negative thinking patterns or lies that trap us, while memorizing Scripture gives truth to combat negative thinking.

Physical activities: God created our bodies to depend upon certain physical activities. Those activities, as repeatedly shown in clinical research, also help reduce stress. Here are some of them:

  • Exercise: Our bodies were made for movement. Things like exercise lead to anti-inflammatory responses, better physical health, improved memory, increased attention, and overall better brain functioning. Do you have trouble exercising because you are always with children? Put them in a stroller or have them ride their bikes, and get moving with them!3Jackson, EM.(2013) Stress Relief: The Role of Exercise in Stress Management. ACSM’s Journal of Health and Fitness. 17 (3). 14-19
  • Sleep: Sleeping the recommended amount can be tough, especially for moms whose children don’t sleep through the night. However, it isn’t just moms with little kids who are sleep deprived. According to the Center for Disease Control (CDC), approximately 1 in 3 adults do not obtain the recommended amount of sleep, which is 7–9 hours. Sleep deprivation can contribute to weight gain, irritability, lack of concentration, fatigue, and health issues, all of which exacerbate stress. To get better sleep, try committing to an appropriate bedtime and nighttime routine, eliminating electronics an hour before bed, and consulting with your doctor if you struggle to fall asleep or stay asleep. And don’t forget to take naps.4https://www.google.com/url?q=https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/stress/2013/sleep&sa=D&source=docs&ust=1637336158909000&usg=AOvVaw2jSfg81f3A9rSXyFa7cCQz
  • Healthy eating: Our bodies need certain nutrients to thrive and feel good. A poor diet can lead to vitamin deficiency, creating a whole host of negative physical and emotional side effects. Eating healthy can reduce health issues, which in turn, reduces stress. 

Rest: Research suggests relaxation and meditation are two avenues to counteract stress. As Christians, we know God has called us to rest (Sabbath), pray, and meditate specifically on his Word. God even modeled the Sabbath for us when he created the world. It’s okay, even commanded, to rest from our to-do lists.

Community: Throughout Genesis we see all the good things God made, until his statement in Genesis 2:18, “It is not good for man to be alone.” God created us for relationships. In fact, our brains are hardwired to need others.5Siegel, D., & Bryson, T. (2012) The Whole Brain Child. Bantam Book. Find other Christians to connect with so you can “carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you fulfill the law of Christ” (Gal. 6:2 NIV). 

Enjoyment: God wants us to enjoy good things. He made the sunset beautiful, food delicious, and friendship necessary — for his glory and our pleasure. Pleasurable activities like vacations, date nights, and coffee with friends are all good things and can help reduce stress. The caution lies in making good things into idols. Moderation and right perception about pleasurable activities are key. 

Ask for help: Acknowledging that we do not encompass every spiritual gift or every skill frees us to ask others for help. Partnering with others reflects God’s beautiful design of diversity and gives others opportunities to utilize their God-given gifts. Trying to do everything independently creates stress, and can be a form of pride, so ask others for help.

Flexibility: Chaos feels hectic and stressful. Why? We were created in God’s image, and he is not chaotic (1 Cor. 14:33 NIV). To help reduce chaos and stress, create a flexible schedule for you and your family.

Finances: Failing to use our finances wisely is a major source of stress. God gives us principles in Scripture that help us steward what he’s given us for his glory. Obeying God’s Word and putting money in its proper place reduces stress. How we use our resources will look different from person to person, but there is no doubt that Christians are not to be slaves to money. The Money Challenge by Art Rainer, and Redeeming Money by Paul David Tripp are two recommended reads for financial management.

Motherhood is a profound, but sometimes stressful, God-given role. He will give you what you need to care for your children. And remember, even amongst the stress, God is using motherhood to sanctify you and your children to look more like Christ.

For more information from Dr. Sarah Rainer on “The Overwhelmed Mom,” check out The Mom Village Podcasts: part 1 and part 2.

  • 1
    Bruce S. McEwen (2007) Physiology and Neurobiology of Stress and Adaptation: Central Role of the Brain. Physiological Reviews, 87 (3), 873-904.
  • 2
    Sharma DK (2018) Physiology of Stress and its Management. Journal of Medicine Study and Research, 1 (1).
  • 3
    Jackson, EM.(2013) Stress Relief: The Role of Exercise in Stress Management. ACSM’s Journal of Health and Fitness. 17 (3). 14-19
  • 4
    https://www.google.com/url?q=https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/stress/2013/sleep&sa=D&source=docs&ust=1637336158909000&usg=AOvVaw2jSfg81f3A9rSXyFa7cCQz
  • 5
    Siegel, D., & Bryson, T. (2012) The Whole Brain Child. Bantam Book.

When a pastor’s child has suspected mental health issues
By / Oct 21

Many moms and dads are facing the challenge of parenting a child with a mental health diagnosis — but often in silence. Due to the history of mental health stigma, especially in the church, it may be hard for pastors and church staff to vocalize when mental health issues are occurring in their own homes. Self-blame or embarrassment may keep church leaders from seeking appropriate help for their children and family.

Where are these parents to start? How do they help their child? And what resources are available to them? Based on my experience in child and adolescent psychology, I want to encourage you if you find yourself asking some of these questions. 

Keeping a right perspective

The challenging journey of parenting a child with mental illness begins with perspective. 

Christian parents should strive to view children and parenting through the lens of a biblical worldview and sound theology. An intricate and creative God designed the human body with great intricacy. We are not simply spiritual beings, but relational beings comprised of biology, emotions, and spirit. The result of sin (Genesis 3) is the corruption in every area of our beings, both physical and spiritual. The Fall negatively affects our development, biology, emotion, souls, and most importantly our relationship with God and others. These areas intertwine and impact overall functioning. Disruption in any of these areas can result in mental health issues. While many mental health issues lean more toward biological underpinnings (i.e., Tourette syndrome, Autism Spectrum Disorder, learning disability), other mental health issues are more directly influenced by relationships and emotion. 

Keeping this perspective in mind regarding children’s spiritual and physical development can help you have realistic expectations of your child. From a spiritual standpoint, you need to consider whether your child has put their faith in Christ. An unbeliever hasn’t yet been given a new heart that is being transformed by the Holy Spirit. Additionally, a new believer is still developing skills, like discernment and self-control. From a physical perspective, children’s brains and language skills are not fully developed. Childhood disobedience and your child’s lack of understanding should not be surprising in light of these standards. Disobedience, temper tantrums, forgetfulness, etc., do not necessarily constitute a mental health diagnosis. But, a mental health condition can be considered when your child’s issues can’t be explained by normal development, poor choices, or lack of spiritual engagement. 

For some parents, the potential of having a child with a mental health diagnosis may feel overwhelming or shameful. However, viewing mental health from a theological perspective can help parents understand the reality of living in a world broken by sin. Mental health issues are complex and are often no one’s fault (John 9). There are often no easy answers because of the complexity of mental health issues. Instead, we can trust that God is sovereign over your children’s struggles and that he will be glorified as you walk down an often complicated road. Such a road requires wisdom from the Lord, patience, and plenty of resources to be able to discern a child’s need. 

How to help

If your child is struggling, I want to give you some resources. You can help your child by equipping yourself with tools like knowing warning signs, the right questions to ask, and where to seek help. 

1. Warning signs

  • Insufficient or delayed development
  • Significant change in appetite or weight
  • Extreme irritability, outbursts, or meltdowns
  • Inattentiveness or hyperactivity
  • Loss of interest in activities or friends
  • Poor academic performance
  • Sudden changes in sleep habits
  • Persistent sadness or frequent crying
  • Reckless or harmful behaviors
  • Excessive fears or worries
  • Behavioral problems across settings
  • Persistent nightmares
  • Withdrawn from family and friends
  • Enuresis or encopresis
  • School refusal
  • Developmentally inappropriate sexualized behaviors or advanced sexual knowledge

If you find your child exhibits some of these signs, it may be time to consult with your child’s pediatrician or a mental health professional. If you are not sure, try gathering information from other key adults who are involved in your child’s life. For example, you may want to ask your child’s teacher, “Compared to other same-age and same-gender peers, is my child more or less attentive at school?”

2. Questions to ask

When considering your child’s behaviors and struggles, here are some key questions to help gauge the severity of the issues.

  • How long has the behavior occurred?
  • Is it a significant change from your child’s formal disposition?
  • Does the behavior occur across settings?
  • Does it affect your child’s functioning?
  • How often is the behavior occurring?
  • What are the current stressors in your child’s life?
  • Does the behavior occur in relation to a stressor or stimuli?
  • Any known history of trauma?
  • Why are you seeking help for the problem now?

Negative behaviors that are persistent, occur across settings, affect a child’s functioning, and are not related to a specific stimuli or current stressor are more likely to indicate the presence of a mental health issue. If there are current stressors in your child’s life that seem to exacerbate their functioning, talk with your child, try to alleviate unnecessary stressors (i.e., making all A’s in school), and develop tools to help your child cope. Take your child through Scripture, helping them grasp God’s love for them and his sovereignty, even in the midst of difficult circumstances. And pray for them and with them.

3. Build community

One risk factor for developing or maintaining a mental health condition is a lack of social support. To state it another way: having social support is a resiliency factor for a good prognosis. Scripture and clinical research both show that community with others is vital. As a parent, seek to provide ample opportunities for your child to make and keep friendships. Sports, school, extracurricular activities, youth groups, church, and neighborhoods are all potential avenues for social involvement. Additionally, seek out other Christian families to regularly interact with. Children and other believing adults can be invaluable support for your child.

4. Quality and quantity time with your child

God has placed a wonderful and enormous task on parents. He has called us to steward the children he has given us. Part of stewardship is being present in the lives of those children. Research has repeatedly shown that a lack of parents’ physical or emotional presence has devastating effects on children. Parents, don’t underestimate the influence you have on your child. Spend time with your child. Listen to your child. Be present.

5. Resources to read

I encourage parents to read about parenting, mental health issues, and normal childhood development. It’s hard to understand abnormal behavior if you don’t have a good grasp of normal behavior. Here are some resources for recommended reading:

  • “How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk” by Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish
  • “Full Circle Parenting” by Jimmy and Kristin Scroggins
  • “Parenting: 14 Gospel Principles That Can Radically Change Your Family” by Paul David Tripp
  • “Yardsticks: Child and Adolescent Development Ages 4-14” by Chip Wood
  • “Wild Things: The Art of Nurturing Boys” by Stephen James

6. Referrals

One of the best places to start when seeking counseling or treatment for your child is your child’s pediatrician. Neurological and medical issues can sometimes mimic mental health issues, so it is important to rule out medical issues first. To find counselors, evaluators, or therapists, you may want to check with your insurance plan and your pediatrician.

Saying, “I need help for my child,” may feel humbling. But remember, as God works in the life of your child, he is also working on you. May you lean into him and steward well the child he has entrusted to you.

A version of this article first appeared at Church Answers Blog.

3 ways to wait in the midst of ruin
By / Dec 21

The Advent season is about waiting for the Lord with hope-filled anticipation. As the people of Israel waited for Christ to come, so now, we wait for Christ’s return. Yet, we are waiting in a waiting room that is full of pain and sorrow. We are waiting in the midst of ruin, longing for redemption and restoration.

Within our own hearts and in the world around us, depression and disaster creep. We’re living in the midst of a pandemic. We bury our loved ones, we lose our jobs, we watch our children rebel against everything they were taught. Our marriages struggle. Our children get bullied. We have hard bosses at work. We get sick and weak. Our joints hurt. Our society does not appear to be fairing any better, as it appears in the news that we are losing our collective mind. Sexual immorality and perversion of all sorts permeate our world. 

We are waiting on the Lord in the midst of a whole lot of ruin. How does one wait for the Lord in such times? I believe that we can find an answer to this question by considering Isaiah 64:1-12. In this passage, we encounter a series of complaints and petitions from Isaiah the prophet regarding the failure of humanity to obey God and the question of whether or not God would allow the people to persist in their disobedience. Isaiah is frustrated by the rebellion of the people who show no regard for God. A divine intervention needs to occur. The people are in tremendous need. They are waiting for God to show up and deliver them. 

From this passage, I believe we have three examples of how to wait in the midst of ruin:

First, we must wait expectantly. As we look at verses 1-3, we must note Isaiah’s affirmation of God’s ability. He asks the LORD to “rend the heavens and come down.” The language is reminiscent of the miracles in the wilderness and the giving of the law at Mt. Sinai when the earth quaked and the skies thundered at the sound of God’s activity, leaving the people in awe-filled wonder and reverent fear. Isaiah knows that because he has done it in the past, the Lord can do it again. Thus, he calls upon the Lord with expectation, which is where we are instructed today.

As we find ourselves in this period of waiting, we must not forget what our God is capable of doing. We must wait with an expectancy that reflects confidence in his character and ability. We must make bold request of our God, as Isaiah did, “O’ Lord, would you rend the heavens and come down?” Would you shake the world again with your presence? Would you intervene in your mercy? This is what it means to wait expectantly.

Secondly, we must wait faithfully. Consider the first part of verse 5, where we read, “You come to the help of those who gladly do right, who remember your ways.” The idea of “gladly doing right,” which parallels “remembering your ways,” refers to living faithfully. The point is not to suggest that God blesses us because we are perfect. Such a myth will quickly be dispelled in the next few verses. Instead, the idea is that those who place their trust in the ways of the LORD and seek to walk in them with faith and repentance can be certain that God will deliver them.

For us, this means that we must not allow the circumstances of our waiting to dictate our faithfulness to God. We do not judge God’s goodness toward us on the basis of the difficulties that we face. He does not just love us; he is the very definition of love. We must wait with faithfulness to him, not wandering away from him because things get difficult. He has not promised us an easy life, but he has promised to be with us through the difficulty.

We must wait with faithfulness to him, not wandering away from him because things get difficult. He has not promised us an easy life, but he has promised to be with us through the difficulty.

Finally, we must wait humbly. As verses 5b-12 reveal, we can never forget that we are always dependent upon God’s mercy and grace. We must wait humbly on the LORD, recognizing that he alone is God, not us. His ways are higher than our ways, and his thoughts are higher than our thoughts. The LORD is not indebted to us for our faithfulness. Even our righteous deeds are like “filthy rags” before his perfect holiness. As verse 8 reminds us, “Yet you, LORD, are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand.” This verse declares the absolute sovereignty of God over his creation. We as God’s creation do not get to challenge his authority. 

The clay does not say to the potter, “I believe you got this wrong. I think you made a mistake.” Our God does not make any mistakes. He is working out his purpose even in the midst of the pain, the suffering, and the sorrow that we are facing in this waiting room of ruin. And yet, we also know that he is good and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in love and faithfulness. “Though He cause grief, He will have compassion, according to the abundance of His steadfast love, for the Lord does not willingly afflict or grieve anyone” (Lam. 3:31-33). Thus, we can wait humbly because we know he is trustworthy.

Let us not mistake waiting with passivity. The act of waiting is a profoundly theological statement. Waiting is not passive. Waiting is rooted in active trust in God. And the ability to wait expectantly, faithfully, and humbly ultimately comes from Christ’s work for us. The work of Christ reminds us that while our lives and our world are often a mess, he has not abandoned us or his plan. When all we had to offer were the filthy rags of our own works, Christ came willingly and took our place under the just wrath of God in order that we might be declared righteous, fully accepted into God’s family, not on the basis of our effort, but on the basis of his grace and mercy toward us. Now, as a result of Christ’s work, we can persevere and wait with hope because we have known and experienced the love of God in Christ Jesus (Rom. 5:1-5).

As we remember the first coming of Christ and anticipate his second coming during this Advent season, may we worship as we think of how Christ came down from the heavens to deliver us. He came to destroy the works of the devil (1 John 3:8). And one day, just as the prophet prayed in Isaiah 64, the heavens will be torn open and all of the Lord’s enemies will be vanquished and we will reign with him forever. In light of this reality, let us wait for our full and final redemption in the midst of the ruin that will one day be made right.