3 ways earthly fathers should imitate our Heavenly Father
By / Jun 15

Parenting advice is not hard to come by these days. Advice from grandparents and friends, articles, vlogs, and books detailing parenting strategies and philosophies all vie for our attention. When I became a new dad, it was the first time I ever crossed into the noble task of diaper changing. Thankfully my mother-in-law gifted me with a dad handbook complete with diagrams and dad-jokes. Parenting advice can be a blessing or an annoyance—some is good, some is bad, and some of it is just plain silly. It can be stressful for parents at all stages to sift through all the nonsense in search of those precious morsels of good counsel.

In the sea of parenting advice for new dads, how many people stop and dwell on the example of God the Father when looking for instruction on parenting? I wish I had done this sooner. The temptation may be to turn every which way to look for parenting advice when the example of our Heavenly Father is clear in the pages of Scripture. David even illustrates the Lord’s compassion as a father’s love toward his children (Ps. 103:13). God reveals himself as the Father on purpose, and his character and deeds are those of an ideal father. When I look to God’s Word, it is clear that the Father raises his children through presence, instruction, and love. And we dads should imitate his example.

Presence

I will dwell among the people of Israel and will be their God. And they shall know that I am the Lord their God, who brought them out of the land of Egypt that I might dwell among them. I am the Lord their God (Ex. 29:45-46, ESV).

Throughout the Israelite’s exodus through Egypt, God did not leave his children alone. The Father was present with his people. When the children of Israel were sojourners in the wilderness, God provided manna, quail, and water. Later, the Father’s presence through his guiding instruction sustained his people even when he was silent. His presence set them apart from the rest of the world (Ex. 33:16). 

In the same way, fathers should be present with their children. They are responsible for caring for their kids. Fathers would do well to imitate God’s commitment to his presence with his people. So many things, even good things, call for our attention, but few are more important than spending genuine time with our kids. Just as the children of Israel did best when they were aware of God’s presence, so too, our children will do best when their dads are visible and active in their lives. Research even shows that children are negatively affected when their father’s are absent. 

Of course, fathers must also provide—though that will look different for each family—which usually means spending time away from their children for work. While human fathers can never achieve the omnipresence of God, they can ensure that their children experience their presence through explaining why they are away and how this helps them care for their family. So, for example, when a child is eating lunch and dad is away at work, they can remember they have a father who loves and cares for them. And as the show “Daniel Tiger” emphasizes in one of its episodes, children with present fathers can have confidence, even while their fathers are away, because they know that “grownups come back.”

Instruction

Blessed is the man whom You instruct, O LORD, And teach out of Your law (Ps. 94:12, NKJV).

God’s instruction of his children is perhaps one of the most neglected practices imitated in Christian homes. The evidence of his instruction is all throughout Scripture. In the Old Testament, the Father made a point to instruct his children in his law. By giving the law, the Lord revealed his character to his people and also made them aware of sin (Rom. 7:7). Then, in the New Testament, he sent his Son, In the fullness of time, to save us from our sin and reconcile us to himself (Gal. 4:4). Now, those who are in Christ have the Holy Spirit to instruct them in the Word and lead them into holiness (John 16:13).

Out of this abundant example of God’s priority for instructing his children in his ways, Christian fathers must also place a high value on instructing their children (Prov. 1:8). When it comes to instructing children, opinions abound. But dads can be sure of this: God expects them to diligently raise their children, by his grace, to fear and love him (Deut. 6). Young children are sponges—they perceive new things about the world each day. Even small children will slowly begin to recognize that their parents submit to One who is their authority. However, this must eventually take the form of intentional instruction from the Bible. 

The instruction of children is anything but passive. Fathers cannot outsource this responsibility, though other trusted adults will often play a role in a child’s spiritual formation. It is a privilege a blessing for fathers to get to raise their children in the fear of the Lord. And it’s vital, for it helps paint a picture of who our Heavenly Father is, even in the mundane things of life like eating dinner, getting ready for the day, traveling, or doing chores. 

Love

But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us (Rom. 5:8).

The Father’s love is not contingent on our actions, but proceeds from his very heart. God gave what was most precious to him in order to save his children while we were still in active rebellion against him, while we were his enemies. And he is committed to his children all the way until the end (John 13:1). God’s love is unconditional and sacrificial.

In a world full of independence and self-serving motivations, Christian fathers should see to follow God’s example of sacrificial and unconditional love, however imperfectly. When we forsake other good things to spend time playing with our children, for example, we model a small piece of God’s sacrificial love for us. The love displayed in this sacrifice is not conditional on a lack of temper tantrums or clean rooms. Instead, fatherly love finds its origin in the Father’s love for us. The realization of how it pleased God to sacrifice for the sake of his children in ways that we never could should lead Christian fathers to ask him for a heart to love our kids well.  

Conclusion

Even in a world in sexual crisis, society is coming around to the fact that fathers are instrumental. That’s because God’s design for the family—which includes a married father and mother with children—leads to individual and societal flourishing. Because of the fall, families will not be perfect, but fathers should try their best to lavish their children with their presence, faithful instruction in the Lord, and love that points to the One who loves their kids best. As we strive to bring up our children in the ways of God, let us cast aside worldly advice and follow the example of our Heavenly Father. We will not always get it right, but we can trust God to sustain us and ask him to give us the joy of seeing our children walk in the truth (3 John 4).   

How to be an intentional father
By / Nov 30

Magic pixie dust for great fathering. Ok, that stuff doesn’t exist. There is no shortcut or gaming the process of raising boys to men. It is hard work, by design. But effort alone won’t get the desired results. Fathering needs to be deliberate. How does a dad purposefully raise a boy? This is the question Jon Tyson’s book, The Intentional Father, addresses.

Intentional is practical 

Tyson’s work is highly practical. Key tasks are explained and supported from Scripture and research. The reader is not left to think, “OK, I need to do that, but how?” Each chapter is marked with an “Intentional Steps” section. In these pages, the reader is led in a style similar to a workshop to process the chapter’s contents and formulate concrete steps. 

For example, in the third chapter, the reader is asked to think forward to a day when their son leaves the home to strike out on his own. Rather than delaying that moment as long as possible, Tyson guides us to face this inevitability. How do you want your son to be prepared for that day? The workshop pages invite the reader to slow down, think, and write answers to the prompts, “What do you want your son to know? What do you want him to be? What do you want him to be able to do? What experiences do you want him to have?” 

Writing down these answers can provide a plan rather than a laissez faire approach to what sons get from dads. With these goals in mind, this loose plan can minimize the pain of inconvenience. For example, if you get a flat tire, you are stuck. Being stuck is annoying and irritating. However, if you have identified changing a tire as something you want your son to be able to do, this inconvenience has become an opportunity to work your plan. This difficulty is not just a curse but also a blessing. The intentional father begins to have eyes that are always looking to get his son in the classroom of life.

Avoiding the “man-ager” rut

“Man-ager” is a term Tyson and his son use to refer to those who by chronology and biology are adult men, but their way of life is too childish — too much like a teenager. Tyson provides sage advice to avoid or dislodge from the rut of persistent adolescence. He presents this guidance as five shifts: 1) from ease to difficulty; 2) from self to others; 3) from whole story to part of the story; 4) from control to surrender; and 5) from temporary to eternal. 

These five qualities are critical for both men and women to thrive in a life that is lived to please God. They are central to a biblical worldview. If boys are unaware that these are the views God is intending to develop in them, they will not only be surprised when these occur, but they will resist the change they are designed to foster. For example, if boys are unaware that a core change in their view of the world needs to be from ease to difficulty, they will likely misinterpret all hardship as poor planning, unjust people, or hatred from God. 

Dads don’t need to plan difficulty; it is baked into life. Rather, an intentional father is ready to take a hard experience and invite his son to consider what he really wants. Does he desire the tough stuff to just be over, or does he desire the good things like perseverance, humility, and dependence that hard things can grow in us. The boy that embraces that difficulty will not only happen, but that it is also designed for his good, will be less likely to put off the increasingly hard responsibilities of adulthood. 

Likewise, the shift from temporal to eternal is a mark of those that are maturing. For example, dads should take their sons to funerals. They are events that force us to face our mortality and consider what kind of legacy we desire to be remembered. End-of-life moments expose what is temporary and awaken our hearts to consider what is eternal. Furthermore, this change in mindset can aid in curtailing the temptation to look for complete satisfaction in this world. 

Boys that embrace the eternal are not surprised when things of earth are only partially fulfilling. They become men who resist chasing satisfaction in the creation and are less prone to anger when they don’t receive such contentment from the temporal. These men begin to see all temporal things as road signs and billboards pointing their longing of satisfaction to the One who is eternal.

Tyson argues for dads to create a growing realization in their boys that God has invited him to leave the center stage of his own small story and take a role in his grand epic story of redemption. Too many boys, and man-agers, are trapped in an illusion that a life that is largely about their own glory, pleasure, and power. The intentional father is actively leveraging experiences to open his son’s heart to see beyond the three-foot circle he lives in. 

A proactive approach to parenting

The author identifies critical worldview formation that readers may have been putting off. What is a person? What is true? What is good? What is beauty? What is ethical? What happens at the end? People have been asking and trying to answer these core worldview questions for millennia. God has given clarity on these types of questions in his Word. Waiting for a son to eventually “figure it out” is not taking fathering seriously. The world will give plenty of answers to these quarries that won’t make your son flourish. 

Tyson posits that a father must be intentional with the views his son leaves home with. We need to help boys develop a theology of sex, a theology of money, a theology of work, and a theology of satisfaction — not simply telling them what to think but walking them through the long-suffering process of helping them to think. For example, a son who has wrestled with questions of God’s design for sex and God’s boundaries will have a level of protection from the culture in which he will live. That culture will try to catechize the boy into its godless, self-determined view of sexuality. Intentional fathers guide their sons to consider what God has said and prepare them for challenges that the world will raise. 

Additionally, God is a worker, and in making man in his image, he made man to be a worker. Because God works, work has intrinsic value. A man does not avoid work. His dream is not to win the lottery and never work again. Rather, a man experiences God’s goodness through work. He grows in discipline, dependence, and humility before God. A theology of work helps a young man see through the warped view of work his culture is trying to sell him.

Intentional moments

Tyson highlights the need to be purposeful in the threshold moments of life. Life has a series of firsts. First cell phone, first exposure to pornography, first girlfriend, first break up, first exposure to drugs, first exposure to the LGBTQ world, first exposure to death, first job, first exposure to racism, first time with a driver’s license, etc. Fathers are assured that all of these will happen. Being purposeful in preparing sons for these events is loving and wise. 

In order to be intentional, Tyson encourages the reader to embrace the practice of initiation. Most cultures throughout history recognize that age 13 is a period where change happens in the heart of a boy. Though preliminary work can be done in younger years, early teens is when Tyson recommends that fathers really need to get to work in a particular way. Readers are led through a series of exercises to recall watershed moments and gifts in their own journey toward manhood. A deliberate plan to mark the transformation of your boy to a man is a high task that ensures he will get the blessing from his father that every man needs. 

Tyson’s work is most helpful as an example to inspire rather than a blueprint to replicate. He admits as much, indicating that what he did was tailor-made for his son, in their region of the country, and with their resources. These variables will likely differ for readers. Tyson gives several details about the specifics he and his son, Nate, did such as regular early morning meetings. Meeting at the same time with one’s own son is not as critical as the regular meeting at a time that best fits you. 

Embracing intentionality

Don’t skip the step at the end of each chapter. They function like mini commitments and targets. Deadlines help us complete tasks and uphold responsibility. We can experience them as stressful and weighty, but they are usually necessary. You sometimes get to audit a class, but no one gets to audit fatherhood. Even those who abdicate nearly every fatherly task and opportunity leave indelible marks on sons. In addition, no one is sufficient, all on their own, to the task of raising sons. 

There is more than enough grace from Jesus for your son to develop better than the work you put in. Being an intentional father is a means the true and better Father uses to change you. With this volume, you will get to make a plan that is custom fit for your son. God chose you to be his dad. Roll up your proverbial sleeves and get your hands dirty in the heart of your son. It is work. Expect to be frustrated, tired, and at a loss sometimes. But look ahead to the man he will become, knowing all your effort in the Lord is worth the result.

5 prayers of thanksgiving on Father’s Day
By / Jun 17

In 1972, President Richard Nixon issued a proclamation establishing the observation of one special Sunday each year in honor of America’s fathers. He described the rich heritage our fathers share with us as “one for which adequate thanks can hardly be offered in a lifetime, let alone a single day” and called on each American to “make this Father’s Day an occasion for renewal of the love and gratitude we bear to our fathers, increasing and enduring through all the years.”

As Christians, we should be the most grateful of all on Father’s Day. Ours is an even richer heritage because we have a Heavenly Father who has adopted us as his children and placed us into our earthly families as part of his good plan. We know that any love we receive from our parents is a glimpse of the Father’s love for us. 

But because of sin, sometimes giving thanks for our parents isn’t that easy. The Bible says we should give thanks in all circumstances (1 Thess. 5:18), but how do you give thanks when your relationship with your parents is strained or even nonexistent? How can you be grateful when your parents don’t love you the way God intended? 

The only way we can give thanks in difficult circumstances is through Christ. For while our parents’ love toward us may be lacking, Christ’s love for us is always perfect and never fails. He knows your pain, and he will help you to obey his commands to honor your parents and give thanks to him — even when it’s hard. 

5 prayers 

As Father’s Day approaches, let’s do as President Nixon suggested and make it an occasion for renewed gratitude toward our fathers. But even more importantly, let’s give thanks to God, who has graciously given us all things. To help us consider all that he has given us, here are five prayer prompts based on Psalm 100.

Lord, we give thanks to you for you are:

1. Our maker 

“Know that the Lord is God. It is he who made us, and we are his” (Psa. 100:3). 

God took such care in creating you — ordaining each of your days and intricately knitting you together in your mother’s womb (Psa. 139:13-16). Give thanks for the man and woman he brought together to give you life. Thank him not only for making you but for making you his. 

2. Our shepherd 

“We are his people, the sheep of his pasture” (Psa. 100:3). 

Jesus is a good Shepherd. Thank him for calling you by name and for willingly laying down his life for you, his sheep. Reflect on how he has led you, protected you, restored you, and comforted you throughout your life — sometimes by way of your mother and father — and give thanks. 

3. Good 

“For the Lord is good” (Psa. 100:5). 

We have a good Father who gives us good gifts. Bless him for generously pouring out his grace and mercy on you through his son, Jesus Christ. Thank him for blessing you with adoption, redemption, forgiveness, and a guaranteed inheritance. In addition to these spiritual blessings, express your gratitude for the good gifts he has given you by the hands of your parents as well; thank him for a few specifically. 

4. Steadfast in love 

“His love endures forever” (Psa. 100:5). 

When human love waivers, God’s love endures. Thank him for loving you so much that he has called you his child and for promising never to let anyone snatch you out of his hand (John 10:29).

5. Faithful 

“His faithfulness continues through all generations” (Psa. 100:5). 

The Lord has been faithful to your parents’ generation, he is faithful to your generation, and he will continue to be faithful to future generations. Thanks be to God! Take a moment to recall specific instances of God’s faithfulness toward you and your family. Then as the psalmist writes, “Shout for joy to the Lord . . . Worship the Lord with gladness; come before him with joyful songs” (Psa. 100:1-2).

Forever thankful

President Nixon was right — a single day of thanks doesn’t seem adequate, does it? When you’re God’s child, there’s plenty to be thankful for. So much so that the psalmist writes, “But we your people, the sheep of your pasture, will give thanks to you forever; from generation to generation we will recount your praise.” (Psa. 79:13)

Still, we do give special thanks to God for our parents on this particular day. May our hearts be filled with gratitude as we consider all the blessings we have received as children of our Father in heaven and our fathers on earth. 


This article contains an excerpt from 5 Things to Pray for Your Parents (The Good Book Company, 2021).

August Profiles: Benjamin Watson on convictional kindness in a culture in chaos
By / Aug 25

Each August, we take a break from our usual policy focused conversations and host interviews with leaders we admire. This week, Jeff Pickering sits down with retired NFL player Benjamin Watson, who is now an author, activist, and documentary filmmaker. Watson is also a man of deep Christian faith and a faithful family man.

Guest Biography

Benjamin Watson and his wife, Kirsten, are the parents of seven children as well as the founders of One More, a foundation aiming to spread the love and hope of Christ by meeting real needs, promoting education, and supporting local charities. As a retired tight end, Watson is now an ESPN and NFL Network and a prolific media cultural commentator. Watson’s illustrious football career included being the 32nd overall pick in the 2004 NFL Draft, a Superbowl 39 champion his rookie season, a finalist for the Walter Payton Man of the Year award. Watson has also authored two books, Under Our Skin and The New Dad’s Playbook, and is the producer of a forthcoming documentary, titled, Divided Hearts of America.

Resources from the Conversation

Several resources for a father’s spiritual growth
By / Jun 19

Father’s Day is this weekend, highlighting the important part a dad plays in his family. As Christians, we know that we flourish more in the roles God gives us when we take time to cultivate our hearts in a Godward direction. My aim is to provide you with a few on-the-go resources that will be a blessing to your spiritual life and help you grow in the Lord. 

Podcasts

If you are a father who spends a great deal of time commuting, then I would encourage you to redeem that time with a few daily podcasts. Some of the best daily podcasts are published by Crossway. From the Every Day in the Word podcast to their M’Cheyne Reading Plan podcast, you can listen through the entire Bible in less than 20 minutes a day. If you chose to subscribe to a daily Bible podcast, I would also encourage you to listen to a podcast like David Platt’s Praying the Word. Each of these resources can get your day off to a great start.

Beyond resources that are aimed at Christian spiritual formation, if you are looking for weekly resources on news from a Christian perspective, you should check out World Magazine’s The World and Everything In It podcast. Of course, you cannot go wrong subscribing to one of the many podcast resources provided by the ERLC either. Other options would include Brett McKay’s podcast, The Art of Manliness, which hosts frequent conversations on everything from philosophy to productivity. You will likely not always agree with the perspectives of all the participants, but you will certainly learn a lot and be well-informed. 

Apps

If you are tech-wise father, I would recommend a few apps to check out. As with the podcasts mentioned above, apps can be a wonderful source of spiritual nourishment. Personally, I use the Dwell app every day in conjunction with a Bible reading plan. The notifications keep me accountable, which has resulted in a wonderful habit of daily Bible meditation. To promote a more consistent prayer life, I use the Echo app, which provides reminders and clear organization for prayers. For those interested in memorizing Scripture, the Verses app makes it easy, fun, and mobile to hide God’s Word in our hearts that we might not sin against him (Psa. 119:9-11).

Books

Of the recommendations of books, there is no end. So, I want to suggest three high-impact books that I believe will encourage you and strengthen you as a father. First, I recommend Dane Ortlund’s book, Gentle and Lowly. Fathers are often browbeaten by Father’s Day sermons with challenges about how they need to “step up” as men. While I get the sentiment, many fathers are working hard and already carry around a lot of feelings of inadequacy. Ortlund’s book is gospel-salve for broken and discouraged soul. 

When we find ourselves to be weak and in need, we must remember that our greatest resource as a father will be found as Christ’s makes his power perfect in our weakness.

In keeping with the theme of feeling broken and discouraged, I would also recommend David Murray’s book, Reset. Much like Ortlund’s book, yet with exceedingly practical and clear steps, Murray helps his male readers assess their condition and find the help that they need in Christ and common grace. 

As a final recommendation, I would like to encourage fathers to read Jeremiah Burroughs’ Puritan paperback, The Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment. While it is an old book, it is a classic meditation on a major problem that many Christian men face on a daily basis. Contentment in Christ is something that must be learned, and Burroughs is a faithful guide in that process.

The ultimate resource 

Being a father is not easy. We have and will continue to make mistakes. We will sin against our wives and our children. We will fail in our professions. Our brokenness will not go unexposed. Yet, when we find ourselves to be weak and in need, we must remember that our greatest resource as a father will be found as Christ’s makes his power perfect in our weakness. My prayer is that these resources will serve the purpose of reminding us where our ultimate hope lies—in Christ and Christ alone.

Divine Presence: How the Fatherhood of God Shapes Leadership in the Home
By / Nov 3

Eric Mason shares how the fatherhood of God shapes leadership in the home at the 2018 ERLC National Conference. 

Chris Horst on fatherhood
By / Nov 6

We live in a world where issues arise in the news and culture daily. Behind every issue, however, is a person—a person made in the image of God. This new ERLC Podcast series, “How to Handle,” will tackle tough issues for today with the hopes of equipping the church on how to handle the topic, care for those struggling with sin and temptation, and care for those who have been hurt. 

Subscribe here

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Never Walk Away: Lessons on Integrity From a Father Who Lived It
By / Aug 25

Crawford Loritts shares lessons on integrity and character from the life of his father. 

Thanks, Dad, for not (always) showing up
By / Aug 23

I’m so thankful my dad didn’t come to all of my football, basketball, and baseball games. He was thankful too. He never even pretended that perfect attendance at our ball games was a goal, or that his identity was tied into whether or not he showed up. Of course, I was excited to see him on occasion standing down the first base line just outside the fence, with his tie loosened cheering me on while I tried to crush the ball. But those days he wasn’t there I knew why—he was working. His absences were a real gift to me, a gift I didn’t fully appreciate until decades later.

Dad refused to make me the center of his world.

I recently stumbled upon a pretty gross disorder called Pradar-Willi Syndrome (PWS). The few who are diagnosed with this annually never get full when they eat. Left without the sensation of satisfaction, the individual keeps eating and eating and eating, right into obesity and possibly an early grave. When an individual is inflicted with PWS, good things (like food) can become deadly things.

When children take the place of Jesus as the center of the home, they’re set up for failure outside the home.

Many children today are being over-served in the attention department. When children take the place of Jesus as the center of the home, they’re set up for failure outside the home.  A sociologist has quipped that ours is the boomerang age, where children leave the home only to return and settle in for extended adolescence. How did this happen? When you were the one everyone orbited around in your home, and then when you left and discovered you’re not the center of the world, of course you’d want to come back to the one place you were.  

In hindsight, my father’s refusal to allow me to overdose on attention gave me three gifts:

  1. The gift of not being number one. My parents are deep lovers of Jesus, and they always reminded us that we’ve been called into something so much bigger than us, the kingdom. Our extra-curricular activities were scheduled around church attendance, missions trips and service projects (not the other way around).  
  2. The gift of seeing a man work. Dad’s absence communicated loudly that he works. When kids (on occasion) would ask where my dad was, I could tell them he was at work. Work is a good thing. His work paid for my athletic fees, cleats, equipment and uniforms.  
  3. Resilience. Children are a lot more resilient than we give them credit. My father was easily gone over 100 days a year, and that’s a conservative estimate. While he came to everything he could, he missed a lot. What were the results? Me and my three siblings are all educated, contributing, healthy members of society. We’ve ventured into almost every region of the country hundreds and thousands of miles away from our parents and each other, where we’ve had to start lives and build churches, businesses and community. We’ve got a grit to us because our parents refused to coddle. Thanks, dad (and mom).

So relax. Missing a game or a piano recital isn’t a bad thing; it can actually do your children some good.

This post originally appeared here.

Two words that will make you a better dad
By / Jun 15

“Watch me, dad. Watch me.”

There are few imperatives a father hears more often from his children than “watch me.” It’s a plea for us to recognize that whatever our son or daughter is doing—catching a ball, jumping off a diving board—is worthy of our full attention. They know we are often busy, often distracted, and they want, at least for a moment, for us to truly see them. By seeing them in action, they believe, we’ll appreciate them even more.

We can learn a valuable lesson from their example: If we want our children to develop godly habits we need to imitate them by saying, “Watch me.”

“Watch me” was the command the apostle Paul gave to his own spiritual children. As he told the church at Corinth, “for in Christ Jesus I became your father through the gospel. Therefore I urge you to imitate me” (1 Cor. 4:15-16). He also told them, “Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ” (1 Cor. 11:1). Paul repeated this admonition several times to the various people and churches to which he served as a spiritual father (Phil. 3:17, Phil 4:9, 2 Thess. 3:7-9, 2 Tim. 3:10-11).

We have a duty to follow Paul’s example with our own children. As theologian Don Carson says, “Do you ever say to a young Christian, ‘Do you want to know what Christianity is like? Watch me!’ If you never do, you are unbiblical.”

Here are three ways your own spiritual habits can be used as a model for your children:

1. Be ‘watch-worthy’

Every day we are becoming either more like Jesus or less like him. Which direction are you headed in today? Because your children are watching you, that is also the direction you are leading them.

Paul was able to say “follow my example” because he was worthy of imitation. And he was worthy of imitating because he was himself committed to imitating Christ.

If we want to be similarly “watch-worthy” we must dedicate ourselves to developing a broad range of godly habits. We must practice the core spiritual disciplines of prayer and intake of Scripture. But we should also be engaged in service and hospitality, evangelism and self-reflection, character formation and developing wisdom, and so on. Above all, we must daily learn to trust and obey God in all things.

These are not practices that come naturally to us. Developing godly habits that lead us to become like Christ requires vigilance and effort. It requires setting aside the necessary time and energy and finding trustworthy resources. The task also obligates us to seek out mature Christians who we ourselves can imitate. If we are to be “watch-worthy” dads for our children we need to model our own behavior on imitation worthy spiritual fathers.

2. Let them see you in action

When do your children see you pray or read Scripture? Do they only see your bow your head to say grace at the dinner table? Do they only see you open your Bible in the Sunday morning church service? Are all your other times of prayer and devotion done behind the closed door of your office or bedroom? If so, then your children may assume such spiritual disciplines are to be practiced alone and in private.

Find ways to let them see you in talking to the Father and engaging with his Word. And welcome their interruptions. Don’t be dismissive when they ask what you are reading. Explain to them—in language they can understand—what you are learning about God and why it’s important to you.

3. Love their mothers

We live in a broken world, and many of us live in broken families. But if you are blessed to be married to the mother of your children, show them what it means to be a godly husband.

The most important way a husband can love his wife like Christ loved the church is to sacrifice himself for her sake. We are also called to model and channel the love of Christ by leading our wives into holiness. A husband should therefore forgive, pray for, and gently encourage his wife to engage in disciplines that lead to her sanctification.

There is no relationship that our children will observe more closely than our marriage. Having them see how we have a Christ-like love for their mother is a powerful example of how they too should love others.

Note: This article is adapted from material in the NIV Lifehacks Bible.