Why miscarriage and ectopic pregnancies are not abortion
By / Jul 5

In the recent breathtaking development from the U.S. Supreme Court, a leaked draft opinion for the Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization case indicated that abortion rights would be reversed.

In the fallout, headlines appeared warning women that if the rulings Roe v. Wade and Planned Parenthood v. Casey are overturned, their access to healthcare would be compromised—not just for abortion, but also their treatments for ectopic pregnancies and miscarriages.

While news reports declare “Overturning Roe v. Wade Will Make It Harder to Treat Miscarriage” and “Overturning Roe Could Make Ectopic Pregnancies Extremely Dangerous,” some pro-life advocates are saying there should be no cause for concern—and that to say otherwise is to play into the agenda of abortion advocates.

As a Christian woman who’s been involved in the pro-life movement for well over a decade, both professionally and personally, it deeply matters to me that the pro-life movement always provides the utmost care and concern for both a woman and her preborn child.

You can read the rest of this article here.

How do you respond when the worst-case scenario is real?
By / Oct 12

Over the last couple of years, many of a pastor’s worst fears have shown up on the front porch of our churches — conducting funerals for multiple church members who have lost their lives because of a terrible disease and losing other church members due to a convictional stand or a difficult policy decision. Many pastors who believed their positions were secure now worry about losing their jobs. 

Depending on your countenance, you may be more or less prone to fear the worst-case scenario. If you’re a mental prepper — you know, the kind of person for whom giving into anxiety and fear is more of a temptation — you’ve probably played out the situations in your mind. But if you’re less prone to or acquainted with fear, your body, mind, and soul may not understand how to respond. 

My wife, Kaitlyn, fits the first category. She plays out the scenarios in her mind, down to the smallest details. I tend to shrug things off as unlikely, and I’ve tended to view fear as an enemy of the human experience. 

It’s all fine until the situation is real 

In the midst of all of the other pressures of pastoral ministry, Kaitlyn and I have been longing for more children. And expanding our family hasn’t been a quick and easy journey. 

When we find out we are pregnant, the joy is uncontrollable. After praying month after month, we feel like God has finally answered our prayers. Given my wiring, I can live with daily joy and excitement without even the slightest reservations about having a child. Kaitlyn’s joy comes mixed with hesitation. She can’t help but think about the worst possibilities. 

The worst-possible scenario for us was a doctor telling us that our child — the child we’d begged God for — had miscarried. Then it happened. The hardest day imaginable was harder than anything fear could have prepared us for. 

What do you do when your worst possible fear comes true? How do you respond? 

We grieved, and we grieved hard. Friends and family loved us well. People in our lives taught us how to lament and cry out to the Lord in our pain. But days after that doctor’s visit, when Kaitlyn and I were processing what had happened, she spoke what has been a life-altering statement for me. She said, “You know, this is the worst possible scenario I could have imagined, but I’m here, and we are okay.” 

Psalm 34:18 says, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Even in experiencing hell on earth, God gave us his sustaining presence. Kaitlyn’s heart and emotions said, “Yes, I always fear the worst. Now I’m here, and it hurts. But God is here, too.” God’s unique wiring in my wife, which I can be tempted to be adverse toward, was the gift I needed to endure in this season. Her ability to see the brokenness of the world before the shards of pain got to us was the Lord’s providence in our life to give us hope. 

We’re embracing hope in the Lord, but that doesn’t mean our circumstances aren’t still hard. It’s incredibly hard. Our story has not been wrapped up with a neat little bow. Since that doctor’s visit, there have been more doctor’s visits and procedures. We continue to trust the Lord about our family, but losing our child has honestly stirred up more fears. 

Yet Christ has used suffering to produce hope in us amidst the fear. Sure, we know that more fear will come. Before this life is through, more worst-case scenarios will show up on our front porch. We will suffer loss. We will experience hurt. The hope we have is not wishful thinking nor blind optimism. Our hope instead is rooted in Christ’s sustaining presence. I’m grateful he has used this particular suffering to produce hope in us now and, I pray, again when future difficulties arise.

What about you? 

You may have lost someone to an illness, or you might have lost a job. Like us, you may have endured a miscarriage — unable to bring the child you longed for home. There are no simple answers to grief. Everyone grieves differently, because everyone’s story — everyone’s griefs — are different. But know that in your grief, God is with you. 

Maybe you are prone to fear, play out all of the worst-case scenarios, and try your best to avoid them. Or maybe you’re feeling paralyzed due to the weight of difficult circumstances that you never foresaw. Wherever you are, there’s hope in Jesus. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted. Call upon him in the midst of your fears, amid your difficult circumstances. Let the hope you have in the Lord and his sustaining grace carry you through.

What are the ethical concerns with noninvasive prenatal testing?
By / Jun 8

“At around twelve weeks, we’ll do a blood test to screen for any chromosomal abnormalities, and you’ll be able to find out the sex if you choose to do so.” This is now a routine statement, a version of which can be heard around the world in consultations between pregnant women and their obstetric care providers. When a woman goes to the clinic for an early pregnancy check-up, she will most likely be offered noninvasive prenatal testing (NIPT), sometimes called cell-free DNA (cfDNA) screening. 

For many women, the opportunity to find out the sex of their preborn child earlier than the ultrasound anatomy scan is reason enough to have the screening. But what exactly does NIPT screen for? And why are some ethicists concerned about it?

What does NIPT do? 

Noninvasive prenatal testing (NIPT) analyzes DNA in a pregnant woman’s blood to screen for chromosomal disorders caused by the presence of an extra or missing copy of a chromosome. NIPT primarily looks for Down syndrome (trisomy 21), trisomy 18, trisomy 13, and extra or missing copies of the X and Y chromosomes. The testing is considered noninvasive because the blood is drawn only from the pregnant woman, unlike diagnostic testing such as amniocentesis, which involves inserting a needle into the womb to collect a sample of amniotic fluid, a procedure which carries a risk of miscarriage. 

NIPT can give both false positives and false negatives, and one study revealed a 10% rate of false positivity. Because it is a screening test, any positive result requires invasive diagnostic testing like amniocentesis to confirm the result. 

While NIPT is a relatively new testing method, it is being used at rapidly increasing rates. While it was previously covered only for those of advanced maternal age, more insurance companies are now covering it for all women. But there are some concerns.

Ethical concerns 

The ethical problems that arise from this kind of screening are extensive. Some ethicists are concerned that the growing prevalence of NIPT will lead to an increase in abortions following a screening that reveals an increased risk for Down syndrome or other chromosomal abnormalities. A study published in 2020 found that the growth of prenatal screening in Europe has reduced the number of babies being born per year with Down syndrome by an average of 54%, and that study was conducted before many European countries offered NIPT. The screening and abortion rates in Iceland have led to only one or two babies with Down syndrome being born each year on average (the population of Iceland is 330,000).  

A reduction in the number of people born with these conditions could directly affect the care and research available for those who are living with such conditions, as well as the possibility for increased discrimination. NIPT could also lead to sex-selective abortions, since the sex can be revealed within the first trimester when abortion is more readily available.1Tom Shakespeare et al., “Non-invasive prenatal testing: ethical issues,” Nuffield Council on Bioethics, March 2017, https://www.nuffieldbioethics.org/wp-content/uploads/NIPT-ethical-issues-full-report.pdf.

Some ethicists are also concerned that NIPT will eventually be used to screen for more conditions, including adult onset conditions or carrier status, meaning it could give some indication of issues that might affect the preborn child later in life or be passed on to the child’s future children. And, unfortunately, there is the potential that a mother would be pressured to have an abortion because of a possible condition that could affect the baby decades after he or she is born.

Preparedness or worry 

For many parents, NIPT offers the opportunity to be prepared mentally and emotionally for any chromosomal disorder their baby may have. While the screening cannot give them the certainty of a diagnosis, it can give an indication of probability. For some, this probability is helpful in considering the possible needs of their child and even the possibility that he or she will not live long after birth. Knowing a child has an increased likelihood of a chromosomal disorder allows community to come around and support a mother or couple through the pregnancy.

But for some parents, false positives can lead to increased worry, which could have a negative effect on the pregnancy. When a test result comes back with an increased probability of a chromosomal disorder, the couple is normally referred for genetic counseling. Unfortunately, this counseling can increase worry or come with pressure to abort the child. 

To test or not to test

While researching NIPT, I heard from many women who chose to have the test, but made it clear to their providers that it would not change anything about their pregnancies. For others, given the concerns and the possibility of false positivity, they chose not to have the screening. For them, the potential for increased worry was not worth the risk. 

Dr. Kenneth Singleton, an OB-GYN in Little Rock, Arkansas, shared how he counsels patients who are deciding whether to have NIPT. He advises them that one of the reasons the tests exist is to terminate pregnancies if there is a problem. He goes on:

Counseled correctly, our patients hear the “sanctity of life” bent, and the ones that choose to test are foremost excited about early gender discovery and then are wanting to be mentally prepared if there are other genetic issues that are discovered. I tend to share about my cousin with Down syndrome and also about my granddaughter Sage with trisomy 13. I know patients are getting pushed into testing and then counseled on termination. That is very sad. I have turned that around and use the test as a way to prepare patients mentally, emotionally, and spiritually for the life that God is giving them.

A role we all play

We may not be the ones making decisions about prenatal testing, but as a community of believers, we all have a role to play. As followers of Christ, we recognize the inherent value of every person, even the tiniest preborn baby. At times, prenatal screening will reveal health issues ranging from minor to life-threatening. Whether these issues are revealed early in pregnancy or after birth, we have the opportunity to support families caring for children with a variety of needs. In some cases, our willingness to do so could be the difference for a mother deciding whether to choose life after a difficult diagnosis. 

Receiving this hard news can lead to grief and a drastic change in expectations, even for families committed to life. Practical care like meals, a listening ear, and childcare for other children in the family are simple ways to show we are committed to walking with them on what may be a difficult path. Reaching out via text to ask for specific ways we can pray is a simple but powerful way to show someone they are not forgotten. 

Deciding whether to have DNA screening may be complicated, but deciding to support and care for expectant mothers and families around us is simple. We follow the example of our Savior when we welcome children into our lives, seeing their value and loving them sacrificially.

  • 1
    Tom Shakespeare et al., “Non-invasive prenatal testing: ethical issues,” Nuffield Council on Bioethics, March 2017, https://www.nuffieldbioethics.org/wp-content/uploads/NIPT-ethical-issues-full-report.pdf.

Why we should change the way we speak about miscarriage
By / Oct 13

Sitting in the exam room, my heart was shattered by the news of my miscarriage. In an effort to bring comfort, the midwife declared, “You’ll have another baby!”

I didn’t want another child, I wanted this one. The one I’d carried for nine weeks and deeply loved.

Her words haunted me as I labored our baby in the hallway of our home that night. They whispered again and again as I went on to lose two more precious babies. 

Words reveal our beliefs

Since facing recurrent miscarriages, I’ve had the opportunity to encourage other women struggling with this loss. I’ve become familiar with the comments said to those who lose babies in the womb. These comments, spoken from loved ones, church friends, and even strangers are said to comfort the sufferer, but instead leave them feeling unseen in their grief. 

More heartbreakingly, when reading between the lines, we may find underlying misunderstandings about unborn children. It’s helpful to think through what we’ve said about miscarriage in order to comfort those around us and uphold the value of life.

At least . . . 

Spoken with good intentions, comments like “at least it was early” or “at least you can get pregnant” or “at least you have children,” not only belittle the pain of a woman facing miscarriage, but unknowingly challenge the value of life in the womb. 

Though everyone grieves differently, whether a woman loses her baby at five or 20 weeks, whether she has children or not, she lost her baby. A real person—an image-bearer of God. “At least” statements are rarely helpful. Instead, let’s say “I’m so sorry for the loss of your baby.” This acknowledges the pain of the mother and the valuable life of the child.

Another baby

Just as the midwife declared I’d have another baby, many women hear the same words spoken over them. Comments like this are unhelpful because they point the sufferer to fix her eyes on the gift rather than the Giver. It’s also hurtful to women who experience recurrent pregnancy loss or face infertility after losing their baby. It’s possible she may not have another child. More than that, it diminishes the value of the life that was lost. Babies aren’t band-aids. Babies don’t replace babies. 

Instead, let’s acknowledge the loss of their child and seek to gently point their eyes to Jesus. Let’s we weep with them over the loss of their unborn baby and as the Spirit leads, share the beautiful truth of how God is near to the broken-hearted—how in grief, he gives more of himself (Psa. 34:18; 147:3). Let’s remind them that he is their Good Shepherd, walking with them down this painful path that leads to greater joy (Psa. 23). 

God protected you

I recently asked women to share comments said to them by fellow believers regarding their miscarriage. One of the most common responses was this: “God was protecting you from a baby with a disability.” How heartbreaking.

Let’s learn a better, more compassionate way of approaching pregnancy loss for the sake of our brothers and sisters in Christ and for the sake of the unborn.

Of all people, Christians should be advocating for the value of every life—including the lives of unborn babies with disabilities. Is it better that a mother would lose her baby rather than getting to know and kiss and raise her child with disabilities? What does this preach to the culture that advocates for the brutal abortion of disabled children? 

Every person, whether they have special needs or not, is fearfully and wonderfully made (Psa. 139:13-16).

The “12-Week Rule”

There’s a rule regarding pregnancy announcements that tells women to keep their pregnancy a secret until the greater risk of miscarriage passes. The purpose is to “protect” them from having to share the news of the death of their baby. 

The decision to share about your pregnancy or miscarriage is highly personal, and there isn’t a right answer. But telling a woman not to share further adds to the shame surrounding pregnancy loss. The death of a baby before 12 weeks is still the death of a baby. One that deserves to be rejoiced over and grieved as the image-bearer he or she is. 

What would it look like to unbelievers if instead of encouraging secrecy, more Christians rejoiced in a woman’s decision to share about the youngest of lives in the womb?

Cultural influences

I wonder how many of these things stem from how our culture champions abortion. As Christians, we would be wise to ponder whether or not the statements we make regarding babies lost in the womb line up with how God views them. 

Would he say, “at least it was early” or “I spared you from a child with disabilities”? Perish the thought! Every human life is a wonderful work of God, created to bring him glory, even the most fragile of lives.

For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. (Psa. 139:13-14a ESV)

Grace for our lack of understanding

Before experiencing pregnancy loss, I misunderstood it. When a friend lost her baby I thought it was sad, but I viewed it as a loss of a dream, not her beloved child. I’m grieved at my indifference. Yet, there’s grace for those of us who have been insensitive or who haven’t upheld the value of the unborn as we should.

If you’re heartbroken over the way you’ve handled the suffering of your sisters in Christ or the way you’ve spoken of babies lost in the womb, bask in the grace of Christ. He’s taken upon himself all our sin and shame so that we don’t have to wallow in our mistakes (1 Pet. 2:24). 

For those who’ve been hurt by comments of others, I pray you would seek to have grace for them, with a heart of forgiveness (Col. 3:13).

Let’s learn a better, more compassionate way of approaching pregnancy loss for the sake of our brothers and sisters in Christ and for the sake of the unborn.

Amy Coney Barrett, the first presidential debate, and a conversation with Bryant Wright
By / Oct 2

In this episode, Josh, Lindsay, and Brent discuss Trump’s nomination of Amy Coney Barrett for the Supreme Court, the first presidential debate, and update on COVID-19 numbers, United Airlines doing COVID-19 testing, NFL postponing games, and GuideStone’s search for a new president. Lindsay also gives a rundown of this week’s ERLC content including a piece by Brittany Salmon with “Three ways of thinking for a healthy relationship with technology: “The Social Dilemma” and our social media habits,” the Policy Staff with an “Explainer: Executive Order to protect born-alive babies,” and Jason Thacker with “What is digital authoritarianism? The use of technology to suppress human rights.” Also in this episode, the hosts are joined by Bryant Wright for a conversation about life and ministry.

About Bryant

Bryant Wright is the Founder and Chairman of Right From The Heart Ministries, a media ministry, which he began in 1992. Bryant also serves in the role as President of SEND Relief. He retired as the founding Senior Pastor of Johnson Ferry Baptist Church in Marietta, Georgia, on December 15, 2019, where he had pastored for 38 years. The church grew to over 7,300-members under his leadership as senior pastor. He is a straightforward communicator who uniquely connects God’s unchanging truth with a diverse culture through compelling and creative teaching. Bryant is the author of six books and co-host on the new Right From The Heart Leadership Podcast. You can connect with him on  Twitter: @bryantwright

ERLC Content

Culture

  1. Trump officially nominates Amy Coney Barrett for the Supreme Court
  2. Barrett meets with key figures on the Hill
  3. Southern Baptist leaders welcome Barrett nomination
  4. Key takeaways from the first presidential debate between Trump and Biden
  5. Commission make may changes to debate rules
  6. Coronavirus cases rise in 25 states
  7. United will become the first US airline to offer COVID-19 testing
  8. 8 Tennessee Titans Players And Staff Test Positive For Coronavirus
  9. NFL postpones first game amid pandemic
  10. TRUSTEES: GuideStone votes to establish presidential search committee

Lunchroom

  • Lindsay:  Celebrity couple miscarriage (Chrissy Teigen and John Legend)
  • Josh: Star Wars
  • Brent: John Dickerson’s The Hardest Job in the World featured on the Remnant podcast with Jonah Goldberg

 Connect with us on Twitter

Sponsors

  • Caring Well Hiring Guide – Download your free copy now and strengthen your efforts to make your church safe for survivors and safe from abuse.
  • Courage and Civility Church Kit – Pastors and church leaders download your free copy today to help guide your congregations through this polarized moment.

Mother’s Day and miscarriages: An interview with Jessalyn Hutto
By / May 5

My first pregnancy didn’t end the way I would have hoped or desired. I entered the doctor’s office, prepared to hear the heartbeat of my growing child, only to be told that our child had stopped growing, and there was no heartbeat to be found. That was a devastating day. What I couldn’t have been prepared for at that time was that I would experience the pain of miscarriage three additional times. After having four miscarriages, I understand that Mother’s Day may be a painful experience for many women.

Author and blogger, Jessalyn Hutto, also understands the pain of miscarriage and has written a book to help encourage the faith of those who have experienced it. In this interview, she gives insight for how she’s cared for others, encouragement to those struggling and wisdom for how we can remember those mothers who have lost their children.

Trillia Newbell: You have, unfortunately, endured miscarriages. Could you tell us about that?

Jessalyn Hutto: My husband and I have lost two children through miscarriage. Our first pregnancy (in 2008) ended in an early miscarriage at eight weeks gestation, and a second miscarriage (a late miscarriage at 17 weeks gestation) took the life of our fourth baby in 2011.

TN: What made you decide to write about your experience in Inheritance of Tears: Trusting the Lord of Life When Death Visits the Womb?

JH: I began blogging about miscarriage shortly after we lost our daughter, Anastasia. At that point, we had been blessed with two darling little boys, but had also endured the painful loss of two babies in the womb. It had become obvious that healthy, uneventful pregnancies were not things that I could take for granted. Having a deep passion for theology and how it applies to my everyday life, I began writing about my own struggle to trust God in the midst of such great loss, and most specifically, how to trust him with the possibility of losing more babies in the future. My hope was that these posts would bless other women out there who were experiencing similar trials—women who were forced to deal with their view of God’s sovereignty and goodness in the midst of such terrible providences.

Time and time again, women would write in to me, explaining that they had stumbled upon my blog as they were searching for hope in the midst of their miscarriages. Of course, in a sense, the popularity of these posts did not surprise me. After losing babies myself, I became aware of the startling frequency at which miscarriages occur among women. It seemed as though everywhere I looked, women were suffering from the pain of losing their unborn babies, infertility and even stillbirths.

What did surprise me, however, was the silence that seemed to surround these topics on the part of the church. Rarely were these particular tragedies—which are so strikingly common—being addressed by pastors or women’s ministries. Suffering women simply were not getting the biblical counsel they desperately need. Instead, as they suffered in isolation, they would often turn to the internet for answers and comfort. But much of what they would find there focused on the emotional aspects of losing a baby rather than on how the truth of God’s Word applied to their loss. They were receiving empathy from the articles they were reading, but not necessarily the hope that could be found in the glorious gospel of Jesus Christ.

Rather than being put off by the theological explanations I was offering on my blog, women were being encouraged and finding greater peace in the midst of their suffering. I became convinced that the church was in desperate need of a theologically driven—yet at the same time sensitive—work on the topic of miscarriage, both for the women who suffer and for those who desire to minister well to them. When Cruciform offered me that exact opportunity, I enthusiastically said, “Yes!”

TN: Miscarriage seems more common than we think. Have you found this to be true?

JH: One of the greatest blessings God has given to me as a result of my miscarriages has been the opportunity to minister to the many women who are called to walk through this same terrible trial. Because of my own experiences of loss, I’ve had the privilege of being allowed to grieve alongside dear friends, church members and even family as they’ve had to walk the same path of suffering. In fact, while I was in the process of writing Inheritance of Tears, three of my close friends were affected by miscarriage. Truthfully, it seems that with this particular trial there are always opportunities to share the hope of the gospel with those who are suffering. Miscarriages are common, and the women who suffer from them need their friends and family members to be equipped to serve them in their time of need.

TN: Do you find that many women have a difficult time talking about their experience?

JH: Yes and no. In a sense, miscarriage is a very intimate topic and therefore, one that is difficult to speak about. It can be hard for a woman to express the debilitating grief she feels for the death of her child when the ones seeking to comfort her may not have even known that the child existed. Often, you have to inform others about your baby’s existence as you simultaneously inform them about his or her death. This can be a very difficult thing to do.

Women can also find it hard to share with others how deeply they are impacted by the loss of their unborn children. Because of the “invisible” nature of her loss to the outside world, a woman who miscarries can be tempted to feel guilty for making such a big deal about it. While others may think that she is healing and coping well after her loss, in reality she may still be experiencing profound grief and even depression. Often these women are tempted to feel guilty or ashamed for bringing up their continuing pain, assuming that others don’t want to hear about her ongoing struggle.

In reality, however, I believe that women who suffer from miscarriage are desperate for a kind, listening ear. They long to be able to have their loss validated by someone who will recognize their miscarriage for what it truly is: the death of a child. Having someone who will do that, and then walk alongside them in their grief as they seek to trust the Lord with such a difficult providence, is an incredible gift.

TN: You have kids now. How did you fight the temptation to fear another loss once you were pregnant again?

JH: We have been incredibly blessed to have four children (three boys and one girl). With each of their pregnancies, I encountered the debilitating fear of losing them. Having experienced a miscarriage with my first pregnancy, I knew with great clarity just how fragile each of the tiny lives I carried within my womb were. Then, after miscarrying again in the second trimester (the point in your pregnancy when everything is “supposed” to be smooth sailing), I was confronted with the complete unpredictability of God’s providence.

Each and every time I carried a child within me, I had to make a conscious decision to submit myself to his will, no matter what that would be. This does not mean that I did not fear. To the contrary: this was a huge struggle for me, especially after our second trimester miscarriage. But the Lord was gracious to me during those times, teaching me to be open with him about my fears (as though he couldn’t see them already!), confessing them and asking him to replace them with the faith to trust his goodness, even when I did not understand his purposes.

I also found Jesus to be all the sweeter to me in those moments (days and weeks, even!) of fear. I experienced great comfort in recounting the terrible moments our Savior spent in the garden of Gethsemane the night before his crucifixion. There in the garden, Jesus sweat great droplets of blood at the mere thought of the tortures before him. He even asked his Father to remove the cup of suffering he was sent to endure, but in the end submitted himself to his Father’s perfect will. This account from God’s Word was a continual reminder of his ability to tenderly care for me in my moments of fear. He knew the struggle I was going through; he knew what it was like to dread the next day.

What a glorious blessing to know that the one who created the heavens and the earth understood the complicated emotions surging through me. What an example I had in him as I sought to submit myself to my heavenly Father’s will—whether that meant a healthy pregnancy or another miscarriage.

TN: There’s an unexpected gift in trials—we get to comfort with the comfort we’ve received. If you were sitting across the table from a woman who has just experienced a miscarriage, how might you comfort her?

JH: Initially, the most important thing I want to convey to a woman who has miscarried is that her pain has merit. What I mean by this is that I want her to know that what has happened to her truly is as terrible as it feels. I don’t want her to feel burdened to “get over” her loss quickly simply because it is hard for those around her to understand. She has lost a child—death has robbed her of one of the sweetest gifts we can experience in this life! —and that is worth mourning. The pain she is experiencing is justified, and I want her to know that I am willing to walk through those dark valleys with her.

However, we will not do that without hope, because even in the valley of death, we have a good Shepherd, who loves us and cares for us. This good Shepherd sacrificed his life for us, so that such terrible experiences of suffering, like miscarriage, would one day be done away with. Through his substitutionary death on the cross and victorious resurrection, we are assured of a day when pain and suffering will be no more.

Because of this wonderful truth, I will never be afraid to acknowledge the real and deep suffering a woman encounters when she miscarries, but I will also confidently and joyfully point her to the One who came to earth to wage war against the root of all her suffering: sin. He came and he conquered. Hallelujah!

TN: How might you comfort a woman who has experienced several miscarriages?

JH: I think the most important thing to remember when ministering to a woman who continues to struggle with miscarriages and/or infertility is to not forget about her. It can be so easy to become numb to her pain when you are not the one experiencing it—especially when it continues to happen time and again.

Each miscarriage must be treated with the same gravity as the first, and there must be an understanding of the emotional trauma that is building in her soul each time she loses a child or the pregnancy test comes back negative. It isn’t routine for her; it is heart breaking, each and every time. She needs your constant support and prayers.

In a similar vein, I would add that there is a great temptation to become fearful for a woman when she has miscarried several times and then becomes pregnant again. This is completely understandable because it is a scary thing to know how fragile the gift of pregnancy is. However, you must endeavor to be joyful with her when she becomes pregnant, welcoming the new life as you would any other child, praying for his or her safety, and caring for her as she develops the usual pregnancy symptoms. She needs to know that people love her children and do not feel as though she is burdening them when she announces each new pregnancy.

It is not wrong to acknowledge the very real “risk” of miscarriage. In fact, it is good to understand the fears that are surely surging through her heart. Acknowledge them and pray for courage, but at the same time offer thanks to God with her, for the new life blossoming within her womb. Be the person she looks forward to sharing the news with every time because she knows you will be happy for her.

TN: What are ways that we can encourage and comfort husbands who endure this trial?

JH: I think it is important to understand that husbands are in a very difficult position when their wives miscarry. They, too, experience intense grief when their babies die, but at the same time, they know that their wives are grappling with the loss on a whole other level. These men need to grieve themselves, but are simultaneously seeking to comfort their distraught wives. They need good, faithful friends who will walk alongside them, check in on them consistently, pray with them and simply listen to them as they grapple with the deep emotions and questions they are confronted with at the loss of their children.

God gives us a call to rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn. We have an opportunity this week to rightly rejoice with those mothers who serve their children day and night. Let us also remember the ones who long for the day they will get to hold a child and call them their own. This Mother’s Day, let’s appropriately rejoice with all mothers while also remembering the ones who have lost their children.