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Articles

My transformation amid tragedy: Surviving the death of my marriage

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August 26, 2015

At the beginning of last year, the Lord made it clear that my home, my marriage and the last seven years of my life had been a lie.

He exposed the fact that my spouse was living a complete double life — one marked by terrible and almost unbelievable immorality. Everything I knew to be true and alive was in fact false and dead. His name was even on the infamous Ashley Madison list, though that was just the tip of the iceberg. My spouse was defined by the utter darkness of the sin he lived in and cherished.

To say I was grieved, shocked and devastated would be an understatement. I didn’t see it coming and couldn’t have conjured it up in my wildest imaginations. Our marriage was the personification of John 3:19-21:

And this is the judgment: the light has come into the world, and people loved the darkness rather than the light because their works were evil. For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his works should be exposed. But whoever does what is true comes to the light, so that it may be clearly seen that his works have been carried out in God.

While I could write pages of all the sordid details, the most important things I have learned through this tragedy involve the work the Lord has been doing in my heart. Here are a few lessons that I pray will help you, as well:

1. You do not get to choose your tragedy — I would have never chosen this for myself. My greatest desire is to be a wife and a mom and to have a home for ministry, specifically centered on prayer and the ministry of the Word (Acts 6:4). I cannot choose the actions and consequences of another’s sin, but I can choose my response to it.

2. The death of my marriage brought the death of me — Great joy has come through great tragedy. The Lord has used this trial to reveal to me what is in my own heart. Jeremiah 17:9-10 reveals to us that our heart is desperately sick and wicked and only the Lord knows it. The Lord used this tragedy to pluck up, overthrow and destroy areas in my life that do not look like Christ, so He can build and plant (Jer. 1:10).

We want the Lord to build on our garbage, but do we allow the Lord of the Word to take the Word of the Lord and perform spiritual surgery? This I know full well: the Lord will not build on my junk. This is his mercy! Think of it this way, had there been any other way for God to redeem man unto himself, would he not have spared his Son? There was no other way, and the instrument used was the cross. Why would my walk look any different than Christ’s? Am I not to deny myself, take up my cross daily and follow him? This is putting to death the flesh, and it is for our good!

3. The enemy does not fight fair — When the Lord unveiled to me what was going on in my marriage, lies of the enemy flooded in at an ungodly speed. It was like an automatic machine gun was going off in my mind, lie after lie after lie. Jesus says in John 8:44-45 to the Pharisees,

You are of your father the devil, and your will is to do your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, and has nothing to do with the truth, because there is not truth in him. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies. But because I speak truth, you do not believe me.

The Lord speaks and the enemy speaks; and he is still speaking today! This is as old as the Garden. In Genesis 2, the Lord speaks, and in Genesis 3, the enemy speaks. In those moments of great devastation, I had a choice to make: was I going to listen to the voice of the Lord or the voice of the enemy? The Truth in me chose truth.  

4. The Lord wants all of me — Over and over again in the Gospel of John, you see Christ saying, “I have come to do the will of my Father.” This is what brings glory to God — when I surrender my will to his will and walk in obedience. This displays his proper weight and value.

John, through the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, states, “This is the message we have heard from him and proclaim to you, that God is light and in Him is no darkness at all. If we say we have fellowship with Him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth” (John 1:5-6). Here is where the rubber meets the road for me: does what I say and how I live align with truth? If not, I am deceived. As the Spirit of Truth worked in my heart through this time, I was constantly reminded that my husband wasn’t the only one who needed Jesus — I am in desperate need of him, too.

There are some days you will never forget because they are marked by great blessing or tragedy. For me, last year was marked by a great tragedy that the Lord, in turn, is using for my good and his glory. But the good came about through a personal act of obedience to the Lord, even though the revelation returned was great and costly. We have heard it said many times, “Sin affects others.” Yet, I also have seen that obedience affects others, too. Through my obedience, light was given, and as a result, darkness was exposed.

As I look back on the last year and what the Lord has done, I can honestly say I would not trade it for anything. And I wouldn’t go back, either. I have seen the richness of his Word and character in ways I would have never seen had I not walked through this tragedy. I can say with all sincerity, “The Lord causes all things to work for good, to those who love Him and are called according to His purpose” (Rom. 8:28).

Maegan Clark

Maegan Clark is from Fort Smith, Arkansas, lives in Franklin, Tennessee, but is an avid Oklahoma Sooner fan. She is currently pursuing a Doctorate of Educational Ministry in Leadership from The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. Her administrative skills continue to be sharpened as she serves as Show Hope’s Office Manager … Read More

Article 12: The Future of AI

We affirm that AI will continue to be developed in ways that we cannot currently imagine or understand, including AI that will far surpass many human abilities. God alone has the power to create life, and no future advancements in AI will usurp Him as the Creator of life. The church has a unique role in proclaiming human dignity for all and calling for the humane use of AI in all aspects of society.

We deny that AI will make us more or less human, or that AI will ever obtain a coequal level of worth, dignity, or value to image-bearers. Future advancements in AI will not ultimately fulfill our longings for a perfect world. While we are not able to comprehend or know the future, we do not fear what is to come because we know that God is omniscient and that nothing we create will be able to thwart His redemptive plan for creation or to supplant humanity as His image-bearers.

Genesis 1; Isaiah 42:8; Romans 1:20-21; 5:2; Ephesians 1:4-6; 2 Timothy 1:7-9; Revelation 5:9-10

Article 11: Public Policy

We affirm that the fundamental purposes of government are to protect human beings from harm, punish those who do evil, uphold civil liberties, and to commend those who do good. The public has a role in shaping and crafting policies concerning the use of AI in society, and these decisions should not be left to those who develop these technologies or to governments to set norms.

We deny that AI should be used by governments, corporations, or any entity to infringe upon God-given human rights. AI, even in a highly advanced state, should never be delegated the governing authority that has been granted by an all-sovereign God to human beings alone. 

Romans 13:1-7; Acts 10:35; 1 Peter 2:13-14

Article 10: War

We affirm that the use of AI in warfare should be governed by love of neighbor and the principles of just war. The use of AI may mitigate the loss of human life, provide greater protection of non-combatants, and inform better policymaking. Any lethal action conducted or substantially enabled by AI must employ 5 human oversight or review. All defense-related AI applications, such as underlying data and decision-making processes, must be subject to continual review by legitimate authorities. When these systems are deployed, human agents bear full moral responsibility for any actions taken by the system.

We deny that human agency or moral culpability in war can be delegated to AI. No nation or group has the right to use AI to carry out genocide, terrorism, torture, or other war crimes.

Genesis 4:10; Isaiah 1:16-17; Psalm 37:28; Matthew 5:44; 22:37-39; Romans 13:4

Article 9: Security

We affirm that AI has legitimate applications in policing, intelligence, surveillance, investigation, and other uses supporting the government’s responsibility to respect human rights, to protect and preserve human life, and to pursue justice in a flourishing society.

We deny that AI should be employed for safety and security applications in ways that seek to dehumanize, depersonalize, or harm our fellow human beings. We condemn the use of AI to suppress free expression or other basic human rights granted by God to all human beings.

Romans 13:1-7; 1 Peter 2:13-14

Article 8: Data & Privacy

We affirm that privacy and personal property are intertwined individual rights and choices that should not be violated by governments, corporations, nation-states, and other groups, even in the pursuit of the common good. While God knows all things, it is neither wise nor obligatory to have every detail of one’s life open to society.

We deny the manipulative and coercive uses of data and AI in ways that are inconsistent with the love of God and love of neighbor. Data collection practices should conform to ethical guidelines that uphold the dignity of all people. We further deny that consent, even informed consent, although requisite, is the only necessary ethical standard for the collection, manipulation, or exploitation of personal data—individually or in the aggregate. AI should not be employed in ways that distort truth through the use of generative applications. Data should not be mishandled, misused, or abused for sinful purposes to reinforce bias, strengthen the powerful, or demean the weak.

Exodus 20:15, Psalm 147:5; Isaiah 40:13-14; Matthew 10:16 Galatians 6:2; Hebrews 4:12-13; 1 John 1:7 

Article 7: Work

We affirm that work is part of God’s plan for human beings participating in the cultivation and stewardship of creation. The divine pattern is one of labor and rest in healthy proportion to each other. Our view of work should not be confined to commercial activity; it must also include the many ways that human beings serve each other through their efforts. AI can be used in ways that aid our work or allow us to make fuller use of our gifts. The church has a Spirit-empowered responsibility to help care for those who lose jobs and to encourage individuals, communities, employers, and governments to find ways to invest in the development of human beings and continue making vocational contributions to our lives together.

We deny that human worth and dignity is reducible to an individual’s economic contributions to society alone. Humanity should not use AI and other technological innovations as a reason to move toward lives of pure leisure even if greater social wealth creates such possibilities.

Genesis 1:27; 2:5; 2:15; Isaiah 65:21-24; Romans 12:6-8; Ephesians 4:11-16

Article 6: Sexuality

We affirm the goodness of God’s design for human sexuality which prescribes the sexual union to be an exclusive relationship between a man and a woman in the lifelong covenant of marriage.

We deny that the pursuit of sexual pleasure is a justification for the development or use of AI, and we condemn the objectification of humans that results from employing AI for sexual purposes. AI should not intrude upon or substitute for the biblical expression of sexuality between a husband and wife according to God’s design for human marriage.

Genesis 1:26-29; 2:18-25; Matthew 5:27-30; 1 Thess 4:3-4

Article 5: Bias

We affirm that, as a tool created by humans, AI will be inherently subject to bias and that these biases must be accounted for, minimized, or removed through continual human oversight and discretion. AI should be designed and used in such ways that treat all human beings as having equal worth and dignity. AI should be utilized as a tool to identify and eliminate bias inherent in human decision-making.

We deny that AI should be designed or used in ways that violate the fundamental principle of human dignity for all people. Neither should AI be used in ways that reinforce or further any ideology or agenda, seeking to subjugate human autonomy under the power of the state.

Micah 6:8; John 13:34; Galatians 3:28-29; 5:13-14; Philippians 2:3-4; Romans 12:10

Article 4: Medicine

We affirm that AI-related advances in medical technologies are expressions of God’s common grace through and for people created in His image and that these advances will increase our capacity to provide enhanced medical diagnostics and therapeutic interventions as we seek to care for all people. These advances should be guided by basic principles of medical ethics, including beneficence, non-maleficence, autonomy, and justice, which are all consistent with the biblical principle of loving our neighbor.

We deny that death and disease—effects of the Fall—can ultimately be eradicated apart from Jesus Christ. Utilitarian applications regarding healthcare distribution should not override the dignity of human life. Fur- 3 thermore, we reject the materialist and consequentialist worldview that understands medical applications of AI as a means of improving, changing, or completing human beings.

Matthew 5:45; John 11:25-26; 1 Corinthians 15:55-57; Galatians 6:2; Philippians 2:4

Article 3: Relationship of AI & Humanity

We affirm the use of AI to inform and aid human reasoning and moral decision-making because it is a tool that excels at processing data and making determinations, which often mimics or exceeds human ability. While AI excels in data-based computation, technology is incapable of possessing the capacity for moral agency or responsibility.

We deny that humans can or should cede our moral accountability or responsibilities to any form of AI that will ever be created. Only humanity will be judged by God on the basis of our actions and that of the tools we create. While technology can be created with a moral use in view, it is not a moral agent. Humans alone bear the responsibility for moral decision making.

Romans 2:6-8; Galatians 5:19-21; 2 Peter 1:5-8; 1 John 2:1

Article 2: AI as Technology

We affirm that the development of AI is a demonstration of the unique creative abilities of human beings. When AI is employed in accordance with God’s moral will, it is an example of man’s obedience to the divine command to steward creation and to honor Him. We believe in innovation for the glory of God, the sake of human flourishing, and the love of neighbor. While we acknowledge the reality of the Fall and its consequences on human nature and human innovation, technology can be used in society to uphold human dignity. As a part of our God-given creative nature, human beings should develop and harness technology in ways that lead to greater flourishing and the alleviation of human suffering.

We deny that the use of AI is morally neutral. It is not worthy of man’s hope, worship, or love. Since the Lord Jesus alone can atone for sin and reconcile humanity to its Creator, technology such as AI cannot fulfill humanity’s ultimate needs. We further deny the goodness and benefit of any application of AI that devalues or degrades the dignity and worth of another human being. 

Genesis 2:25; Exodus 20:3; 31:1-11; Proverbs 16:4; Matthew 22:37-40; Romans 3:23

Article 1: Image of God

We affirm that God created each human being in His image with intrinsic and equal worth, dignity, and moral agency, distinct from all creation, and that humanity’s creativity is intended to reflect God’s creative pattern.

We deny that any part of creation, including any form of technology, should ever be used to usurp or subvert the dominion and stewardship which has been entrusted solely to humanity by God; nor should technology be assigned a level of human identity, worth, dignity, or moral agency.

Genesis 1:26-28; 5:1-2; Isaiah 43:6-7; Jeremiah 1:5; John 13:34; Colossians 1:16; 3:10; Ephesians 4:24